Seeking Perfection

Saturday of the First Week of Lent

(Click Here for Readings)

Gospel of Matthew 5:43-48

"But I say to you, love your enemies,and pray for those who persecute you,that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust....So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Perfectionism  Are you a perfectionist by nature?  Do you cross all of your "T's" and dot all of your "I's"?   Do you criticize yourself when you do make an error?  While in high school, I experienced the perfection itch.  I wanted to scratch the itchy spot raw, especially during times when I did make a mistake. I placed a lot of internal pressure on earning straight A's.  I felt like I needed to beat other classmates academically since I lacked athletic prowess or great social skills.  Introverted my nature, I often over-compensated for my lack of extroversion by studying hard, playing in the orchestra, and participating in various community activities. I remember crying often because of the stress I put myself under. I never thought I was good enough! 

None of us are perfect.  God didn't intend us to never make a mistake or falter. However, he does ask us to seek perfection like the heavenly Father.  This may sound confusing, but in a sense he means we should show love towards others just like he does.  This is especially important involving those who do not love us and may treat us badly...... 

I was bullied throughout middle and high school.  I became a prime target because of my shyness and lack of athletic ability. I wore large coke bottle glasses which didn't help.   My mom used to say these bullies were jealous of me.  They saw my beauty as a threat even though I never thought I was beautiful.  (None of the boys ever paid attention to me...) The bullies recognized my intelligence, but they also recognized a lack of self-confidence.  They took my inner demons and twisted them around to make me think I was ugly, stupid and no good.  As a protective force, I surrounded myself with books and study.  A book never made fun of me!  Teachers began to notice me as an excellent student.  Receiving praise from my wonderful teachers made me feel better about myself even though it seem to stir up perfectionism.  Thank God as I've grown older I've been able to accept my imperfections.  Oftentimes I laugh when I do make a mistake!  

Even though our humanity makes us imperfect, we can be perfected spiritually through Christ's example.  When we love others, even the bullies in our lives, we become a partner with Christ.  When we seek the perfection of holiness and virtue, we are saying to God:  "Thank you for creating me in your image! Even though this person has treated me like garbage, and I don't really like him, I will learn to love him because I love you with all my soul and being!  Please give me the grace to remove the anger, the hurt, and the pain this person has caused in my life.  I want to become perfect just like your heavenly Father is perfect!"

-J.