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Gospel of John 21:1-14
When they climbed
out on shore,
they saw a charcoal
fire with fish on it and bread. Jesus said to them,
“Bring some of the fish you just caught.” So Simon Peter went
over and dragged the net ashore full of one hundred
fifty-three large fish. Even though there
were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them,
“Come, have breakfast.” And none of the
disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?”
because they
realized it was the Lord.
Jesus came over and
took the bread and gave it to them, and in like manner
the fish.
I'm experiencing a bad case Lent and Easter burn-out! I haven't been too motivated to write on my blog this week. All of last weekend's Easter festivities drained me more than I thought. I mean, the liturgies were beautiful, and I'm very glad I participated in them. However, a sense of blah now overwhelms me. I'm lazy with my prayers, rosary, scripture reading, and meditations. Anger and resentment grabs my thoughts once again. My mind is whirling around the negative. So frustrating because I thought I was doing so well. I'm sitting at my computer thinking:
"What is going on with me? Why am I now feeling so disconnected with God? I know he's there but I'm so tired of reaching for him. I'm utterly ticked off at the world! It doesn't help I'm another year older still stuck in my same old me! I want to become a new me. Yet, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. If I can only push aside people in my life who keep me from moving forward. If I can only stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking I'm an utter failure. If I can only recognize the wonderful blessings in my life every day. If I can only stop craving certain peoples' appreciation and recognition. Be happy with myself and my gifts. Yet, I'm in an inner turmoil. I feel like packing up everything and just leaving for another country. Get away from the people, the objects, the circumstances, and the struggles that burden me mentally and physically. Just run away!"
I imagine walking on the beach shore early in the morning. I see a glowing campfire in the distance with a man in ghostly white garments. As I approach the fire, I notice the man is Jesus! He motions me to come and join him for breakfast. The sun is slowly rising in the horizon with the waves crashing against the seashore. The palm trees sway in the cool breeze. Jesus begins to speak to me. I'm amazed at how much he knows about me already! It's like he can read my mind and my soul. Jesus says to me:
"Dear Jennifer, I thank-you for honoring me in the church. I thank-you for serving at the Mass. You do such beautiful work for the Lord. Please do not think you are not appreciated or recognized. I think you are wonderful! Isn't that all that counts? I love you so much and want the best for you. Please do not run away! You know things will change gradually in ways that will benefit you. Simply dropping everything and changing course isn't my design for your life. You are making tremendous progress in your faith journey. Do not lose faith! As for people in your life, not everyone will stick around for long. Yes, I give you life long friends and acquaintances but I also introduce people who are meant to help you learn lessons. One big lesson is to let go! Some people, especially those who hurt you, are not worth carrying on about. Let them go! I promise you things will turn around. Please never cease praying! Give glory to your father and stay positive."
The next time I'm feeling a pity-me party brewing, I should imagine dining with Jesus on the seashore. Our conversation will be life changing and life affirming. I can set aside all of my burdens knowing how much he truly loves me.
-J.
I'm experiencing a bad case Lent and Easter burn-out! I haven't been too motivated to write on my blog this week. All of last weekend's Easter festivities drained me more than I thought. I mean, the liturgies were beautiful, and I'm very glad I participated in them. However, a sense of blah now overwhelms me. I'm lazy with my prayers, rosary, scripture reading, and meditations. Anger and resentment grabs my thoughts once again. My mind is whirling around the negative. So frustrating because I thought I was doing so well. I'm sitting at my computer thinking:
"What is going on with me? Why am I now feeling so disconnected with God? I know he's there but I'm so tired of reaching for him. I'm utterly ticked off at the world! It doesn't help I'm another year older still stuck in my same old me! I want to become a new me. Yet, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. If I can only push aside people in my life who keep me from moving forward. If I can only stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking I'm an utter failure. If I can only recognize the wonderful blessings in my life every day. If I can only stop craving certain peoples' appreciation and recognition. Be happy with myself and my gifts. Yet, I'm in an inner turmoil. I feel like packing up everything and just leaving for another country. Get away from the people, the objects, the circumstances, and the struggles that burden me mentally and physically. Just run away!"
I imagine walking on the beach shore early in the morning. I see a glowing campfire in the distance with a man in ghostly white garments. As I approach the fire, I notice the man is Jesus! He motions me to come and join him for breakfast. The sun is slowly rising in the horizon with the waves crashing against the seashore. The palm trees sway in the cool breeze. Jesus begins to speak to me. I'm amazed at how much he knows about me already! It's like he can read my mind and my soul. Jesus says to me:
"Dear Jennifer, I thank-you for honoring me in the church. I thank-you for serving at the Mass. You do such beautiful work for the Lord. Please do not think you are not appreciated or recognized. I think you are wonderful! Isn't that all that counts? I love you so much and want the best for you. Please do not run away! You know things will change gradually in ways that will benefit you. Simply dropping everything and changing course isn't my design for your life. You are making tremendous progress in your faith journey. Do not lose faith! As for people in your life, not everyone will stick around for long. Yes, I give you life long friends and acquaintances but I also introduce people who are meant to help you learn lessons. One big lesson is to let go! Some people, especially those who hurt you, are not worth carrying on about. Let them go! I promise you things will turn around. Please never cease praying! Give glory to your father and stay positive."
The next time I'm feeling a pity-me party brewing, I should imagine dining with Jesus on the seashore. Our conversation will be life changing and life affirming. I can set aside all of my burdens knowing how much he truly loves me.
-J.
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