Jesus, I Trust in You!

Second Sunday of Easter 
Divine Mercy Sunday

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Gospel of John 20:19-31

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.

As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,

and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Wow, what a Divine Mercy Sunday to remember. Two Saints canonized on the same day!  I wish I was there in Rome for the celebration.  How nice if I could have attended the mass, visited the historical sites, and feasted on delicious Italian food and wine.

I don't know much about Saint John XXIII since I wasn't born yet.  However, I came across a free Kindle lenders library book that's a short bio on the Pope.  I plan to read it this coming weekend (hopefully).

Another bad confession day... As you may notice, I'm very behind on meditations.  I think Satan is playing the game of "freak out" with me. I'm normally very disciplined, not loosing my cool as much as I did in my younger years. Yet, my mind has been swarming with negative thoughts, pity-me's, and everything that could possibly keep me away from God's grace....Last Saturday I experienced another confession nightmare.  This one was totally my fault.  It just goes to prove how overly-sensitive and dramatic I can be at times. I stood in a long confession line.  The priest I normally go to had not yet arrived.  We were all looking around wondering where he was at.  Finally, he walked in 15 minutes late. Two priests were available for confession that day.  One who I frequently go to (who happen to be running late) and the other whom I had a previous bad experience with.  After only ten minutes, the priest I always go to suddenly walked out of the confessional.  He told everybody he had a wedding to attend and asked all of us to get in the other line.  To put it bluntly:  I was &@#$ angry! Here this priest was not only late but didn't bother to warn us ahead of time he could only hear 10 minutes worth of confessions!   I said, "Hell no!" and stormed out of the chapel.  No way would I wait in another line for a priest who tore me apart the last time I went to him for confession.  So, I raced out of the church cursing and fuming.  Behind me I heard a man call my name:  "Jennifer!"  I turn around and it happened to be the priest!  Uh oh......I flailed my arms around like a typical Italian cursing that I was NOT going to make my confession with that other clergyman!  He looked at me and said:  "I can hear your confession right here!"  We were both standing only a few feet from the parking lot.  In my rage, I said "No!" and shouted out a bunch of expletives.  I ran over to my car when it dawned on me the priest's car happened to be parked right next to mine!  (Uh...and there were plenty of other open spaces!)  But I just got in my car, slammed the door, and burned rubber out of the parking lot.......

Obviously, in my rage and anger I neglected to notice that this priest recognized I was upset and tried to help.  He was willing to be late to a wedding in order to hear my confession.  Yet, I didn't take the golden opportunity to be forgiven of my sins right then and there.  I allowed my fears and anxieties to take over.  I could have discovered an inner peace and healing right there in the parking lot but chose to spit out anger instead.  

I felt so ashamed at flying off the handle that I emailed the priest a message of apology.  I realized I wasn't mad at him but more mad at myself for falling into habitual sin and allowing my negative thoughts to overwhelm rational thinking.  To my surprise, I received an emailed response.  (This is a very rare occurrence from a very busy priest!)  He said that everything was ok.  He thanked me for telling him my situation and admitted that he was having a bad day!  Everything that could go wrong did go wrong!  Oh, I felt an instant sigh of relief.  This priest forgave me. He didn't harbor resentment or hate or loathing for me.  He understood, even expressing his own apology for leaving confession prematurely.  This priest is a good man who truly cares.

God's divine mercy can show up in amazing and surprising ways.  It doesn't necessarily have to be within the confines of a confessional.  His mercy appears in the actions and sometimes even the inaction of people.  The next time I'm feeling irritable and edgy I need to say the famous words:  "Jesus, I trust in you!"  This is a powerful mantra that can soothe the heart, mind and soul.  

Peace be with you!

Saint John Paul II and Saint John XXIII, Pray for Us!

-J.