Everything About This Life

Wednesday of the Second Week of Easter

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Acts of the Apostles 5:17-26

The High Priest rose up and all his companions, that is, the party of the Sadducees, and, filled with jealousy, laid hands upon the Apostles and put them in the public jail.  But during the night, the angel of the Lord opened the doors of the prison, led them out, and said, "Go and take your place in the temple area, and tell people everything about this life."

Today I'm digressing from the typical John 3:16 gospel passage so well known.  This is the one time of the year we read Acts of the Apostles which is another personal favorite!

"Go and take your place in the temple area"  What did the angel of the Lord mean when she said this to the disciples?  I think it's pretty obvious:  The apostles were called to preach the good news of the gospels.  They couldn't preach and convert souls trapped inside a prison cell.  The temple area was the one place where masses of people congregated.  What better avenue for inviting more people to join the ranks of the new Christian church. 

"....Everything about this life"  We are given only one life to live on this earth.  We should live it to the fullest with a strong sense of purpose and meaning.  Our Lord can choose to take away our life at any moment.  A man may live to be 90 years old or a baby only 9 months.  Our earthly life is very limited; however, heavenly life is eternal.  It's a beautiful place of harmony and peace.  It's a place we should each strive to gain entrance into. Just the thought of no more suffering after life makes me eager to do all I can to make it into heaven!  Yes, I'm a habitual sinner but at least I recognize this and constantly strive to do better.

Everything about this life isn't about being a people pleaser.  It's not about conforming to what everybody is doing and saying. It's not about abuse, depression, anger, resentment, and hate.  It's about love, care, and compassion.  Life is meant to be explored in creative ways that  brings glory to God and is shared with others.  

Life is so precious and sacred.  When we think life is going down the toilet, and may even contemplate killing ourselves, we should look up to the crucified Christ.  Imagine his intense suffering nailed to that big wooden cross:  The pain, the sorrow, the agony, the humiliation, the thirst and hunger.  Our Lord died for each one of us in the most horrific way imaginable, but it was done out of pure love for all men and women.  He loves us  and wants the best for all of us.  

Enjoy life!  Focus on the tremendous blessings God grants us each day.  

-J.

A Dialog with God

Memorial of Saint Catherine of Siena, Virgin and Doctor of the Church

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Acts of the Apostles 4:32-37
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common....

Gospel of John 3:7b-15

 Jesus said to Nicodemus:“‘You must be born from above.’The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes,but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Happy Feast Day to St. Catherine! Saint Catherine of Siena is one of my favorite saints.  She's inspired me to become a Lay Dominican!  While experiencing serious doubts and worries this past week, I've turned to Saint Catherine for guidance.  Her readings are beautiful and comforting. Not only was she a Lay Dominican but an intelligent woman able to influence the papacy in the 14th century.  Her writings are incredibly appealing and powerful.  I absolutely love her use of imagery, especially in "The Dialogue."  Amazing of all is Catherine was completely illiterate! Others translated and wrote for her....

I imagine Saint Catherine approaching me from heaven with the characteristic flower in her hand as she smiles, wiping away the tears of sadness from my eyes.  Afterwards, she walks up to Jesus whispering to him:  "Take care of that precious woman! I want her to be here with us someday enjoying the splendor of heaven. Keep her safe.  Watch after her.  Forgive her sins and help her to grow in holiness!"  

Creativity & Imagination One thing so powerful about meditation is the expansion of creativity and imagination. Scripture doesn't seem so boring and bland when I immerse myself in the characters and plots.  The Word comes alive when I explore its meaning on a much deeper level.  It's like I'm a diver in the vast ocean.  I swim deeper and deeper toward the ocean floor discovering new life and formations I never knew existed.  I may find an old sunken ship with buried treasure or an active volcano oozing lava.  On the ocean's surface, things may look familiar with the occasional whale or dolphin surfacing up for some air.  But, deep down in the ocean lies the unknown.  An unknown that I become curious about and wish to explore further. A new outlook on life emerges that I never thought possible.

What's so intriguing about mystics like Saint Catherine of Siena is how they use imagination to explore God with a beauty and clarity that really makes us think at a much higher level.  This level is way above the ordinary and superficial.

Dialog with God  Why not explore new ways of prayer?  Place yourself in the scene of a scripture passage.  Imagine a dialog with a beloved Saint.  Spend some time speaking with Jesus directly, imagining you are walking along the seashore with him or he's sitting beside you in church.  Read the scriptures more closely and pay attention to phrases that jump out at you as if speaking to you on a personal level.

Saint Catherine of Siena, Pray for Us!

Jesus, I Trust in You!

Second Sunday of Easter 
Divine Mercy Sunday

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Gospel of John 20:19-31

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.

As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,

and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Wow, what a Divine Mercy Sunday to remember. Two Saints canonized on the same day!  I wish I was there in Rome for the celebration.  How nice if I could have attended the mass, visited the historical sites, and feasted on delicious Italian food and wine.

I don't know much about Saint John XXIII since I wasn't born yet.  However, I came across a free Kindle lenders library book that's a short bio on the Pope.  I plan to read it this coming weekend (hopefully).

Another bad confession day... As you may notice, I'm very behind on meditations.  I think Satan is playing the game of "freak out" with me. I'm normally very disciplined, not loosing my cool as much as I did in my younger years. Yet, my mind has been swarming with negative thoughts, pity-me's, and everything that could possibly keep me away from God's grace....Last Saturday I experienced another confession nightmare.  This one was totally my fault.  It just goes to prove how overly-sensitive and dramatic I can be at times. I stood in a long confession line.  The priest I normally go to had not yet arrived.  We were all looking around wondering where he was at.  Finally, he walked in 15 minutes late. Two priests were available for confession that day.  One who I frequently go to (who happen to be running late) and the other whom I had a previous bad experience with.  After only ten minutes, the priest I always go to suddenly walked out of the confessional.  He told everybody he had a wedding to attend and asked all of us to get in the other line.  To put it bluntly:  I was &@#$ angry! Here this priest was not only late but didn't bother to warn us ahead of time he could only hear 10 minutes worth of confessions!   I said, "Hell no!" and stormed out of the chapel.  No way would I wait in another line for a priest who tore me apart the last time I went to him for confession.  So, I raced out of the church cursing and fuming.  Behind me I heard a man call my name:  "Jennifer!"  I turn around and it happened to be the priest!  Uh oh......I flailed my arms around like a typical Italian cursing that I was NOT going to make my confession with that other clergyman!  He looked at me and said:  "I can hear your confession right here!"  We were both standing only a few feet from the parking lot.  In my rage, I said "No!" and shouted out a bunch of expletives.  I ran over to my car when it dawned on me the priest's car happened to be parked right next to mine!  (Uh...and there were plenty of other open spaces!)  But I just got in my car, slammed the door, and burned rubber out of the parking lot.......

Obviously, in my rage and anger I neglected to notice that this priest recognized I was upset and tried to help.  He was willing to be late to a wedding in order to hear my confession.  Yet, I didn't take the golden opportunity to be forgiven of my sins right then and there.  I allowed my fears and anxieties to take over.  I could have discovered an inner peace and healing right there in the parking lot but chose to spit out anger instead.  

I felt so ashamed at flying off the handle that I emailed the priest a message of apology.  I realized I wasn't mad at him but more mad at myself for falling into habitual sin and allowing my negative thoughts to overwhelm rational thinking.  To my surprise, I received an emailed response.  (This is a very rare occurrence from a very busy priest!)  He said that everything was ok.  He thanked me for telling him my situation and admitted that he was having a bad day!  Everything that could go wrong did go wrong!  Oh, I felt an instant sigh of relief.  This priest forgave me. He didn't harbor resentment or hate or loathing for me.  He understood, even expressing his own apology for leaving confession prematurely.  This priest is a good man who truly cares.

God's divine mercy can show up in amazing and surprising ways.  It doesn't necessarily have to be within the confines of a confessional.  His mercy appears in the actions and sometimes even the inaction of people.  The next time I'm feeling irritable and edgy I need to say the famous words:  "Jesus, I trust in you!"  This is a powerful mantra that can soothe the heart, mind and soul.  

Peace be with you!

Saint John Paul II and Saint John XXIII, Pray for Us!

-J.

Breakfast with Jesus

Friday in the Octave of Easter

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Gospel of John 21:1-14

When they climbed out on shore,

they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you just caught.” So Simon Peter went over and dragged the net ashore full of one hundred fifty-three large fish. Even though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come, have breakfast.” And none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?”

because they realized it was the Lord.

Jesus came over and took the bread and gave it to them, and in like manner the fish.

I'm experiencing a bad case Lent and Easter burn-out!  I haven't been too motivated to write on my blog this week.  All of last weekend's Easter festivities drained me more than I thought.  I mean, the liturgies were beautiful, and I'm very glad I participated in them.  However, a sense of blah now overwhelms me.  I'm lazy with my prayers, rosary, scripture reading, and meditations.  Anger and resentment grabs my thoughts once again.  My mind is whirling around the negative.  So frustrating because I thought I was doing so well.  I'm sitting at my computer thinking:

 "What is going on with me?  Why am I now feeling so disconnected with God?  I know he's there but I'm so tired of reaching for him.  I'm utterly ticked off at the world!  It doesn't help I'm another year older still stuck in my same old me!  I want to become a new me.  Yet, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed.  If I can only push aside people in my life who keep me from moving forward.  If I can only stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking I'm an utter failure.  If I can only recognize the wonderful blessings in my life every day.  If I can only stop craving certain peoples' appreciation and recognition.  Be happy with myself and my gifts. Yet, I'm in an inner turmoil.  I feel like packing up everything and just leaving for another country.  Get away from the people, the objects, the circumstances, and the struggles that burden me mentally and physically.  Just run away!"

I imagine walking on the beach shore early in the morning.  I see a glowing campfire in the distance with a man in ghostly white garments.  As I approach the fire, I notice the man is Jesus!  He motions me to come and join him for breakfast.  The sun is slowly rising in the horizon with the waves crashing against the seashore.  The palm trees sway in the cool breeze.  Jesus begins to speak to me.  I'm amazed at how much he knows about me already!  It's like he can read my mind and my soul.  Jesus says to me:

"Dear Jennifer, I thank-you for honoring me in the church.  I thank-you for serving at the Mass.  You do such beautiful work for the Lord.  Please do not think you are not appreciated or recognized.  I think you are wonderful!  Isn't that all that counts?  I love you so much and want the best for you.  Please do not run away!  You know things will change gradually in ways that will benefit you.  Simply dropping everything and changing course isn't my design for your life.  You are making tremendous progress in your faith journey.  Do not lose faith!  As for people in your life, not everyone will stick around for long.  Yes, I give you life long friends and acquaintances but I also introduce people who are meant to help you learn lessons.  One big lesson is to let go!  Some people, especially those who hurt you, are not worth carrying on about.  Let them go!  I promise you things will turn around.  Please never cease praying!  Give glory to your father and stay positive."

The next time I'm feeling a pity-me party brewing, I should imagine dining with Jesus on the seashore.  Our conversation will be life changing and life affirming.  I can set aside all of my burdens knowing how much he truly loves me.

-J.  

Earth Day 2014

Tuesday of the Octave of Easter

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Gospel of John 20:11-18

Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping.... Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.”Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.

Mother Earth weeps  As Mary Magdalene weeps outside Jesus' tomb, Mother Earth sheds tears, too.  Mary's tears soon turn into joy when she discovers the risen Lord!  Sadly, Mother Earth still weeps.  Human beings haven't treated her planet very well.  Industrialization, deforestation, factory farming, pollution, and other environmental hazards have slowly turned areas of the world into trash dumps and caustic centers.  Islands of plastic trash float in the oceans.  Animals are becoming extinct from loss of natural habitat.   We breathe in toxic fumes and eat foods ridden with pesticides and antibiotics.  When God created the earth, he never intended for it to be abused and misused.  He hoped we use our natural resources wisely and help preserve the lands for future generations.  Environmentalists do all they can to invent alternative fuel sources and rehabilitate lost habitats.  However, it's up to ALL of us to make a commitment to protect our earth from further degradation.  

As Christians let us remember: The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord!  Preserve and conserve our environment.  Recognize God's blessings in the singing of the birds, the blooming of the trees, and the rustle of the wind.  When we love God, we naturally want to respect everything he's created including our earth!  

Happy Earth Day!  

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Easter Reflections

Happy Easter!  Wow!  I can't believe how fast Lent went by this year.  Easter is one of those special days we spend with close family and friends.  We attend church services wearing our Easter dresses and suits.  We join our friends and family for a nice meal. We may even join our children in an Easter egg hunt or dye eggs together.  It's a day of joy and happiness!  It's a day we honor Our Lord.

Nature's beauty The weather here in Dallas has been gorgeous. The last remains of Old Man winter have passed with plenty of sunshine and a few April showers bringing us much needed rain.  Bees are pollinating my English lavender bushes while my "wild" rose bush is beginning to bloom.  As I see Spring awakening all around me, I think of Mary Magdalene beside the empty tomb weeping and mourning.  But, then she is overjoyed when she realizes Jesus' resurrection.

 Amazing!  Miraculous!  All that Jesus said was true!

A special priestly touch I must say the highlight of this past weekend's Easter liturgies was the Holy Saturday Vigil.  Our pastor put together a beautiful mass.  I felt so proud to participate in the celebration.  At one point during the confirmation ceremony, a pregnant woman walked up to the front to receive the sacramental oil.  After our pastor placed the sign of the cross on the woman's forehead, he  motioned the sign of the cross over her small "baby bump"!  I just happen to see this gesture from where I was seated.  Nobody else behind him would have noticed.  I thought, "God is good! This woman will always remember the special attention our pastor gave to her unborn child on such a special occasion."

Pennies for the Trinity I just so happen to find three lucky pennies this weekend!  Two in the Target parking lot and one in the church parking lot. Pennies are a rare find these days, especially in our growing cashless society, so I didn't simply discard the little pieces of copper.  I thought of these pennies as an awesome reminder of the Holy Trinity!  I felt like the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have been guiding me as I busily prepared for the Triduum liturgies.

Birthday Blitz  Today is my 40th birthday.  Nice that it's occurring around Easter this year.  Some years it actually falls on Easter Sunday.  I've already received about 20 Facebook "Happy Birthday" posts.  My coworker decorated my cubicle with a birthday banner and balloons.  Even Google has a "Happy Birthday, Jennifer!" on my search home page with images of cupcakes.  I received a free cup of coffee at the gas station even though I think this was on accident.  (The lady just forgot to charge me.)  Yesterday my family cooked me a nice meal with plenty of vegetables since I've gone back on my vegetarian diet.  Of course, the fun part is receiving a load of birthday cash!  I've already spent it on some beauty products.  Need to keep my "looks" up since I'm now officially over the hill...

I thank Our Lord for blessing me with another birthday!  Life is so precious. Some people don't even live to be 20, 30 or even age 40.  I now have a new found wisdom that I didn't possess even five years ago.  Even though my body is aging, I'm trying to keep my mind sharp.  Praying, meditating, reading sacred scripture, reading the writings of the saints, and learning more about my faith really helps along in the aging process.  

Saint Mary Magdalene, Pray for Us!

-J.

Easter Alleluia

Holy Saturday
At the Easter Vigil on the Holy Night of Easter

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Then the angel said to the women in reply,“Do not be afraid! I know that you are seeking Jesus the crucified. He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples,‘He has been raised from the dead, and he is going before you to Galilee;
there you will see him.’ Behold, I have told you.”

Sixteen years ago on this very night I joined the Catholic Church.  By far it's one of the best experiences of my life!  The Church has been a tremendous blessing for me.  I love the sacraments, history, traditions, and devotions.  I love the people I've become friends with over the years.  I love being an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and Lector.  I love being Catholic!  

My wonderful parish will be baptizing 18 catechumens this year! A total of 45 new members will be received into the church.  Praise God!  I'm super excited since I know what the experience is like.  I remember my own confirmation sixteen years ago.  I chose the name "Mary Magdalene" as my confirmation name.  When Monsignor Cuschieri placed the confirmation oil on my forehead, I felt exhilaration.  When I received the Eucharist for the first time, it melted in my mouth.  If felt so warm on my tongue.  I felt Jesus all throughout my body! He was present inside me. During my 24 years as a Protestant I never understood the real presence until that very special night during the Easter Vigil!  

One of the things I look forward to the most tonight is singing the "Alleluia!"  Throughout Lent, the Church has purposely omitted this part of the liturgy. I will be singing it loud and joyfully!  Also, I will be smiling , silently praying for each and every one of the catechumens and candidates joining the Catholic Church.  I pray they will grow to love the sacraments as much as I do.  Hopefully they will feel the calling to participate in parish ministries.  Overall, I know they will feel just as excited as I did when I received my first Eucharist.  Jesus is truly AWESOME!

I recently found out that Monsignor Albert Cuschieri who confirmed me at the Easter Vigil 1998 passed away.  Several years ago he retired and returned to his native country of Malta.  He was a wonderful pastor.  I will think of him during tonight's liturgy.  God rest his soul!  

-J.

Our Lord Crucified

Friday of the Passion of Our Lord (Good Friday)

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Gospel of John 18:1-19:42

Jesus answered,“My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom did belong to this world,  my attendants would be fighting  to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.
But as it is, my kingdom is not here.”
So Pilate said to him,“Then you are a king?”Jesus answered,“You say I am a king.For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth.Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.”Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”

Last night's Good Friday service was solemn yet beautiful.  How strange to see the altar stripped bare with no candles, flowers, or decorations.  Even the tabernacle laid empty and abandoned.  Parishioners continued to genuflect and even bless themselves with holy water even though "symbolically" Christ is no longer with us until the Easter Vigil. 

Before the beginning of the liturgy, the deacon read beautiful words from St. Thomas Aquinas.  This excerpt is taken from "A Lenten Journey with Jesus Christ an St. Thomas Aquinas" by Paul Keller, O.P.  These words brought even greater meaning to the veneration of the cross.

Now, there are trees that have flowers and fruits all of the time.  In a similar way the tree of the Cross has flowers all of the time. See that the wood of the Cross has produced a triple fruit...First, the fruit of cleansing, because through the Cross we are liberated from sins... Of what does sanctification consist?  It makes someone cling to the Cross.  It is also true that man, alienated from God through sin, is reconciled through Christ.....So ministers of the Church use the sign of the Cross in any sanctification...Third, the fruit of glorification...Through sin humankind is excluded from paradise, and therefore Christ has suffered on the Cross, so that through the Cross the gate from earthly things to the heavenly things would open.  Hence the Cross of Christ is signified by the ladder that Jacob saw....All the saints go up to the heavens by the power of the Cross..."

We mourn the lost of Our Lord who was truly human.  He greatly suffered pain and agony with his flesh scourged and beaten.  Yet, he underwent such cruelty for our sake!  We take on the flesh of Christ when we imitate his teachings and his ways.  We must embrace the cross at all times constantly remembering Christ's infinite love for all of his children.  

-J.

Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday 
Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper

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Gospel of John 13:1-15

Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father.
He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end.
The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over.So, during supper,
fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God,  he rose from supper and took off his outer garments.
He took a towel and tied it around his waist.
Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around his waist.

My favorite liturgy of the Easter Triduum is the Holy Thursday mass.  The symbolism behind the washing of the feet, the use of incense, the procession of the Blessed Sacrament, and even the specially-selected hymns make the evening Mass a beautiful experience.  I don't have to worry about keeping a travel-sized pack of tissues in my purse. (No weeping until Good Friday.) The liturgy is  joyful in that we not only celebrate the institution of the Eucharist but we see Christ's intimate love for us.  He washed the feet of his disciples, one of the lowest acts of service.  This is symbolic of how He washes us and cleanses our own sins.  Moreover, he nourishes us with his body and blood - the Holy  Eucharist.  Jesus' passes along the gifts of contrition and communion knowing his life will end.  

The body and blood present at Holy Communion will forever keep us intimately bonded to The Lord providing us with the strength to carry along through life's joys and difficulties.

By washing the feet of his disciples, we are called by Jesus to serve others humbly and compassionately.  Pope Francis selected to wash the feet of twelve disabled people.  What a beautiful act of humility!  These people are examples of the marginal in society.  Many people rather lock them away in some "home" and not think about their existence.  Our Lord calls us to serve the poor, the lame, the hungry, and the alien.  Jesus died on the cross for the salvation of all souls regardless of our state in life. 

After the Holy Thursday Liturgy, my parish traditionally exposes the Blessed Sacrament for adoration until midnight.  Grand silence is put into effect.  I stayed in the sanctuary and prayed my rosary thinking of the times I didn't serve people well.  There is one person in particular that I've complained about and thought ill of for way too long.  I could faintly hear Jesus whispering to me: 

 "Let it go!  No longer be angry and resentful of this person.  See the good in him.  He does not mean you harm.  He does not have anything personal against you.  Stop thinking ill of this individual.  Pray for him.  The more you pray to your Heavenly Father  the more I will bless you with internal peace."

I hope many Catholics will participate in the Easter Triduum. Allow the Holy Spirit to flood your mind with faith, hope and love in preparation for the resurrection on Easter Sunday!

-J.  

Cheap Price for Christ

Wednesday of Holy Week

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Gospel of Matthew 26:14-25

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said,
“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”
They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

Why?  Why did Judas do it?  Why did he betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver?  What a cheap price for Christ's life!  In fact, Jesus' life was priceless when we consider all of the good he did for the people.  His healings, teachings, and love for sinners helped form the basis of Christianity. Even though Judas betrayed his friend, and ended up killing himself out of shame, Christianity only surged stronger.  Those thirty pieces of "blood money" didn't stop people from believing Christ's message of salvation.  Jesus' ultimate crucifixion, death and resurrection only invited more believers.  

When I examine Judas more closely, I see a man envious and resentful.  Jesus performed amazing miracles, growing in popularity.  However, Judas was given the task of carrying around the heavy money bag.  So, why not steal a little for himself?  Why not make a deal with the Pharisees and scribes to put the Son of God to death?  Wouldn't that ultimately give Judas fame and fortune?  I see Judas as the "black sheep" of the disciples.  He sincerely loved and believed in Christ but felt inferior compared with the other chosen disciples.  This is why he chose criminal activity.  Also, Judas may have resented the Lord's "favorites" including Peter, James and John.  No way he could be a disciple of significance like these men!  In his mind, the best option is to hand over Jesus to the enemy:  Crucify the Lord!  

Don't be like Judas  What Judas did to our Lord is heartbreaking and gut-wrenching. It's hard for us as believers to think any man, especially a disciple of Christ, could betray.  Yet, we see people like Judas all of the time. They are selfish, hateful, and angry.  They want to "ruin" lives so they can "feel better" about themselves.  Thieves want what others have.  Murderers seek revenge for personal offenses.  Cheats think they are entitled to everything and will get what they want unfairly.

Don't become another Judas!  Show love and compassion toward others.  Become selfless instead of selfish.  Don't allow Satan to overwhelm your thoughts with envy, resentment, anger, and hate.  Look for the good inside of every single person even our enemy.  Remember in the end God won't welcome the truly wicked into the Kingdom of Heaven.  However, he does give us second chances over and over again to mend our ways.  Let us accept the Lord's healing grace and repent from our sins. 

-J.

Don't Deny Christ

Tuesday of Holy Week

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Gospel of John 13:21-33, 36-38

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?”Jesus answered him,“Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.”Peter said to him,“Master, why can I not follow you now?I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”

Wake Up Grumpy  Do you ever wake up in a foul mood?  You don't want to get out of bed, get dressed and go to work.  Just the sound of that alarm clock going "beep, beep, beep" makes your ears scream.   You're ticked off at the world:  Living another day of stress and anxiety is too much to handle!  Maybe your kids drive you nuts.  Your husband or wife is a pain.  Your job is not only boring but dead end.  Bills are mounting without any decent salary coming in. You're over-worked and under-employed.  You're sick physically and emotionally.  You just can't cope with it anymore.  You may even deny God's existence.

Here we are at the beginning of Holy Week, and I'm stressed out beyond measure.  I woke up in a terrible mood that's lasted most of the day.  I'm suffering from severe Spring allergies which makes me irritable and sleepless.  My mind is running non-stop with a laundry list of "crap" I need to do.  Yet, I'm so foggy headed with anti-histamines and not enough food.  (When I feel like trash, I lose my appetite.)  It's difficult for me to focus on the "reason for the Holy season" in my current mental state.  Throughout the day, I've tried praying but can't focus.  I almost feel like I'm Peter denying Christ! Our Lord is here sitting right beside me as I type this meditation.  He understands what I'm going through.  I just need to take that courageous step, push away the negative thoughts, and snuggle up to the thematic beat of Jesus' Sacred Heart.

Tears flow I'm embarrassed to admit this but at lunch today I just sobbed, gut wrenching sobs!  I feel like I'm such a failure in many ways.  There are days when I easily connect to God completely and whole.  Other days I feel like the Devil takes control of my thoughts and feelings.  Satan knows Holy Week is here, so he's changing all the stop lights to red.  His intention is for me to obsess over every little thing wrong about my life. He'd love it if I stop writing my meditations, stop praying, and drop out of my Easter Triduum duties.  He thrives when I get angry, envious, resentful, and concerned about things that really don't matter.  It's Jesus Christ that matters and not all of the "stuff" I worry about constantly.

Don't deny Christ   All of us as Christians should be prepared to lay down our life for Jesus Christ.  Let us NOT turn into Peter and deny Jesus three times infinity.  Even days when we are down on ourselves (and the pity-party engages in a drunken orgy of sadness, tears, and woe-is-me's) we must remember Jesus on the cross.  He suffered tremendous ridicule, pain and anguish.  Our daily struggles are nothing compared to the hardship and misery Jesus experienced at the crucifixion.  The merciful Lord was scourged, beaten, cursed at, spit at, and nailed naked onto a large wooden cross.  He was an innocent man convicted of an invisible "crime."  His crucifixion was the result of jealousy, hate, and fear.  When we deny Christ, we become another Judas, Pharisee, scribe, chief priest, or member of the Sanhedrin.  

Do we want to spend the rest of our life in denial of Christ's divinity with no hope of joy in heaven?  Do we want to spend the rest of our life in intense pain and suffering because we're over-consumed with self pity? 

We all have bad days and good days.  We all experience confusion and anxiety.  We all at one time or another think, "God can't be for real!  My life is such a mess.  I can't see any way out of it."  All it takes is a change of thinking and a positive outlook. Things will work out. Be thankful for our blessings and for LIFE!  

Even though I'm having an emotional day I know it will pass.  I will feel better tomorrow.  It's impossible for me to completely deny Christ.  I can feel his love inside my heart! He warms my heart with his tremendous love and mercy.  He will never abandon me in my time of need.



-J.

Fragrance of Holy Desire

Monday of Holy Week

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Gospel of John 12:1-11

Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard

and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair; the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. Then Judas the Iscariot, one of his disciples, and the one who would betray him, said, “Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages and given to the poor?”.....

So Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

 As I was looking for an image to accompany today's gospel reading, I came across "Spikenard of Mary Annointing Oil" made by a modern-day Jerusalem company.  There's a whole new marketing trend to sell herbs, spices and fragrance oils used in biblical times.  (In my own home, I have frankincense and myrrh essential oils along with herbs rue and sage growing in my backyard.) Spikenard has a very sweet scent known for its calming and soothing properties. Used along with myrrh, it helped prepare the body for burial.

What a beautiful gesture on Mary's part that she loved and cared for Jesus so much she anointed his feet with expensive fragranced oil.  I'm sure his feet were dirty, smelly and sore from the miles of walking in the desert sand.  He tirelessly served others.  Why not take some time for a little pampering himself?  His ministry was not an easy one full of stress.  Judas didn't see the significance of the fragrance of holy desire in Mary's charitable act.  All he saw was a waste of money for the poor.  Of course, we all know Judas' hidden agenda - steal money and pocket it for himself.   Mary desired holiness whereas Judas only desired wealth and profits.  

I've been studying Saint Catherine of Siena's "The Dialogue" and came across the following quote.  The speaker is God himself addressing Saint Catherine in a mystical expression:

"And if you open your mind's eye you will see that the Holy Spirit weeps in the person of every one of my servants who offers me the fragrance of holy desire and constant humble prayer."

Mary humbly served Jesus despite judgment and ridicule by Judas.  Her ointment and drying of Our Lord's feet with her long hair was a form prayer.  It was a lowly act but done out of complete love and fidelity. She believed in Jesus and all he stood for.   Jesus knew his death loomed; therefore, he suggest Mary keep the ointment for his burial.  What did Mary think of Jesus defending her? Did it cross her mind that Our Lord may be dying sooner than later? Most likely not! In her mind, Jesus would always be near her.

The fragrance of holy desire is fresh and sweet smelling.  It doesn't smell bitter, foul, or rotten.  Such a fragrance is long lasting in that its wearer strives to live a life obedient to God's commandments.  The fragrant life composed of faith, hope, love and charity seeks to follow God's will in ways that will eventually lead to admission into the Kingdom of heaven.  

Would you rather wear a perfume or cologne that smelled heavenly or smelled sickening?

Let us follow Mary's example of love and compassion.  Strive for holiness. Make God the centering force in your life.  During Holy Week, pray that the fragrance of holy desire may be realized in your own heart.  

-J.

Living With Envy

Living with envy is no picnic........

I have a public confession to make.  One of my habitual sins I constantly struggle with, especially as I get older, is the deadly sin of ENVY.  I should be content with the blessings God's given me, right?  I mean, I'm much better off than a lot of other people.  I own my own home as a single woman.  I'm steadily employed.  I'm a mommy to an adorable little dachshund.  People tell me I have a gift for writing. Moreover, I belong to a loving and supportive family. I can't ignore the fact that my Catholic faith is a huge centering point in my life, too. So, why am I so riddled with envy?  Why can't I just get over it and stop comparing myself to others?

I think a lot of my envy stems from not feeling like I've lived up to my full potential.  I think I've disappointed God is so many ways! I reflect on the terrible choices I made in my younger years at a crucial time when I should have better developed my social and intellectual skills, saved my money wisely, and learned to deal with struggles and frustrations prudently. 

On Easter Monday, I will be turning a decade older - the Big 40.  I'm freaking out!  I've examined my accomplishments as well as disappointments.  If I had made alternative choices, maybe I'd be in a more lucrative career with a devoted husband and a house full of youngsters. Why didn't I do things differently?  Emotional immaturity left me in confusion and doubt for way too long.  I just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.  I thought I'd have all of the time in the world to decide. Yet, the years have progressed along faster and faster with more gray hairs forming in the aging process.  My youth is fleeting, so now I'm much more "observant" of others around me.   I look at their physical appearance, their marital status, their accomplishments, and their financial means.  I ridicule myself for not having what these "perfect" people have!  The questions run over and over in my mind: 

 "Why can't I be wealthy like the beautiful and successful 40-something woman executive?  Why can't I be married for 20+ years like Mr. & Mrs. So & So?  Why can't I be a popular speaker and writer? Why can't I be recognized and promoted by my own company I've been completely devoted to?"

While meditating on the Gospel readings during this Lenten season, it seems like so many people were envious of Jesus.  They witnessed his miracles.  They observed his growing popularity and devotion.  They were confused, perplexed and amazed by his teachings and good works.  How many of these people secretly wanted what Jesus possessed?  How many of the Pharisees and Scribes became envious because they saw Jesus' "blasphemy" as something more desirable and transforming?

I've thought of ways to elevate the envy from the mind and heart.  It involves a change in thinking patterns:

• Think positively!  List the blessings in your life.  Focus on what you have and not what you don't have.
• Stop comparing yourself to others!  Be happy and content with the unique person God created:  YOU!
• Keep striving to better yourself. Don't give in to self pity!
• Meditate & Pray!  Prayer is a terrific way of transferring negative envy into positive love.
• Appreciate the accomplishments of others.  Remember that God blesses each one of us with special talents.  Most likely something you're good at the person you envy isn't so great at!
• Find ways to educate yourself and continuously learn.  A bored, depressed mind is more prone to envy.  Discover ways to enhance your own God-given talents.  
• Regularly examine your conscience.  Don't be afraid to visit the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Allow God's forgiveness and mercy to heal you.

During this Holy Week, let us take our minds away from envious thoughts.  Focus on Our Lord crucified!  Ponder his pain and agony.  Realize that the trivial envy we may "feel" is nothing like what our Lord experienced.  Celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord this coming Easter Sunday!

-J.

Palm Sunday 2014

Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

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Gospel of Matthew 26:14 - 27:66

But Jesus cried out again in a loud voice, and gave up his spirit.

And behold, the veil of the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked, rocks were split, tombs were opened, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised. And coming forth from their tombs after his resurrection, they entered the holy city and appeared to many. The centurion and the men with him who were keeping watch over Jesus feared greatly when they saw the earthquake and all that was happening, and they said, “Truly, this was the Son of God!”

Holy Week is now officially here! Seems like only yesterday we received ashes on our foreheads.  Now we receive palms in our hands signifying Jesus' entrance into Jerusalem.  The large crowd scatter cloaks and tree branches for our Lord to process over.  As prophesized by Isaiah:  “Behold, your king comes to you, meek and riding on an ass, and on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.”  The crowds exclaim "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest."  Sadly such blessing and festivity will take a drastic turn for the worst  when Judah hands over Jesus for 30 silver pieces.  That seems like a cheap price for killing the true Son of God.

Unique to the Lord's passion in the Gospel of Matthew is the description of the earthquakes and the breaking open of tombs after our Lord dies.  Can you imagine living in Jerusalem after the crucifixion and having a dead relative visit you?  Would you be scared, shocked, and in disbelief?  What if the earth started shaking and trembling?  Would you think the end of the world has arrived?  With such huge signs as earthquakes and the dead rising, I'm sure many, many more people began to believe Jesus' divinity!  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if guilt set in.  We know Judas kills himself because of the shame of his betrayal.  Who else may have followed his path?  

During Holy Week, we should set aside some time out of our busy schedules to participate in liturgical celebrations.  Personally, I've volunteered to serve communion during the Easter Triduum.  This is a tradition for the past three years.  It's a humbling experience bringing me closer to God as well as my parish family.  I hope some people reading this blog may volunteer to serve in the Easter liturgies.  If all else, attend the special services!  The beginning of the week is a good time to seek out the Sacrament of Reconciliation, too. Consider allotting 1 hour of prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament as part of penance.  Holy Week is truly a beautiful celebration of the passion, death and resurrection of Our Lord!

Blessed Margaret of Castello, Pray for us!

-J.

One Nation Under God

Saturday of the Fifth Week of Lent

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Gospel of John 11:45-56

So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said,“What are we going to do? This man is performing many signs. If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation.” But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them,“You know nothing, nor do you consider that it is better for you that one man should die instead of the people, so that the whole nation may not perish.”

You know nothing  This week I was at the drive through window at a local Taco Bell.  I overheard a conversation between the window attendant and a fellow employee.  The lady loudly said, "Yes, why don't you just kick his a**!"  I thought to myself:

Wow, how unprofessional for this woman to not only engage in a private conversation with another employee right in front of a customer but to swear.  She obviously knows nothing about good customer service! I have the receipt in my hands.  I may just submit a survey complaining about this service! 

Eventually, I let the incident go and didn't file a complaint.  I figured the employee is not well-educated, making only minimum wage. I certainly didn't want to be the cause of someone getting reprimanded or fired.  There was nothing wrong with my order or the taste of the food.  Sometimes in life we just have to learn to let things go and not cause unnecessary conflict.

Unfortunately, the Pharisees and the Sanhedrin didn't simply "let go" the idea of Jesus blaspheming.  They could no longer allow the Jewish people to question their authority and believe in this Son of God.  Their intense fear of losing power drove them to kill Jesus.

One nation under God This gospel passage is filled with paradox and irony.  First of all, the Pharisees and chief priests admit that Jesus worked many signs.  Yet, they still haven't seen enough to fully believe that this simple "man" is truly divine.  Secondly, Caiaphas the chief high priest recommends Jesus be killed in order to save the entire nation from destruction by the Romans.  Unknowingly, Caiaphas prophetically reveals how Jesus will take sin and death upon himself in order that the people can become one nation under God.  This one nation encompassing the entire world will be forever protected and strengthened.  God will not leave his people to struggle on their own.  Even with war, poverty, corruption, and anti-religious sentiment present, we can trust that God will resolve difficult situations in due course time.  We must remain faithful and prayerful.  We must realize that everything is a part of God's plan.  However, our free will dictates how well we live our lives on earth.  We can choose to fight or we can choose to remain at peace just like we can choose to push God out of our lives or choose to be faithful to him.  The Holy Spirit will always remain with us regardless if we stay or stray.  

As the Lenten Season draws to a close, let us visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  Thank him for his protection, love, and compassion.  Also, pray for countries that may be experiencing war and conflict.  Ask God to protect the innocent from continued violence and oppression.   

-J.

Throwing Stones

Friday of the Fifth Week in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of John 10:31-42

The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus. Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of these are you trying to stone me?” The Jews answered him,“We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God.”

Have you ever felt like people were throwing stones at you?  Fellow co-workers are upset because you disagree with a specific proposal everybody else wants to implement.  A son or daughter is furious because he/she is grounded.  Maybe you're a sidewalk counselor at a local abortion clinic constantly cursed at and insulted for your pro-life witness......

Those pebbles, rocks, and even boulders hitting us from all directions don't feel so great.  They cause a great deal of bleeding and bruising not only physically but mentally. We feel helpless when we encounter dissension and hostility.  When it comes to our Catholic faith, defending church teachings may encourage more stone throwing, especially from others who disagree with our beliefs.  However, we must persevere in proclaiming the Gospel Truth.  Wear our steel armor!  This way the stones thrown at us will only dent the armor's metal and not deaden Christ's message.

I think of times when we stone ourselves becoming disillusioned with life.  We may think of ourselves as losers because we don't make a lot of money, own a big house, or work in a successful career.  Perhaps we have made very poor choices, allowing habits and addictions to take over our lives.  Why the urge to self-destruct?  Why fall into the belief that nobody can ever love us or heal us from our inner wombs?  Why bruise ourselves in ways that destroy our minds and bodies?  God doesn't want any of his precious children to throw stones at themselves or others.  He loves each and every one of us.  Yet, in our own self-absorption we fail to recognize this tremendous love.

The next time we feel like picking up a stone and throwing it at someone, or even ourselves, let us pray at the foot of the cross. Meditate on ways we can elevate our anger, resentment, bitterness, and dissension. Think of ways that we can avoid hostility.  Don't allow ourselves to become like stones where we refuse to compromise.  Don't allow our hearts to become fossilized to the point where won't listen to opinions contrary to our own.  Love one another and leave the stones on the ground!

-J.

Truth Sets Us Free

Wednesday of the Fifth Week in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of John 8:31-42
Jesus said to those Jews who believed in him,

“If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples,and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  

I'm a huge 80's music fan! Right now spinning in my car's CD changer is Sting's  If You Love Someone, Set Them Free. The following lyrics resonate well with today's gospel reading:

“You can't control an independent heart

Can't tear the one you love apart

Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live

We can't live here and be happy with less

So many riches, so many souls 

Everything we see we want to possess.”

Interesting we want to possess so many "things" in life including material goods and even other people.  Yet, many of us simply refuse to "possess" Jesus Christ in our hearts.  We gravitate toward the tangible instead of the spiritual.  Our "independent hearts"  think it's okay to pick and choose what sort of "truths" to believe in.  My "truth" may not be someone else's "truth."  My neighbor may believe in social justice for everyone except for the pre-born in the womb.  A married couple may believe contraception is an okay even if it goes against Catholic teaching.  Furthermore, a couple make think co-habitation is necessary before marriage even though studies show living together results in higher rates of divorce.  When it comes to our Catholic faith, we cannot simply choose to believe in one teaching and discount another.  All teachings interrelate.  Jesus clearly says that if we remain in his Word, his TRUTH, we will be set free.  We either believe in what the Lord and the Church teaches us or we don't.

How does the Truth of Jesus Christ set us free?  Like the title to Sting's famous song, Jesus love us so much that he was willing to die on the cross to free us from our sins.  Through this unconditional love, Our Lord lives and breathes with us as we go through the roller coaster of life.  When we are set free, Jesus cares for us as his beloved children.  When we are set free, Jesus brings peace and contentment. God will not stray from us.  When we are set free, Jesus invites us to join him in the Kingdom of heaven.  The main criteria is that we believe in his Truth, his way, and his life making an effort to follow his commandments in ways that are pleasing.  Strive for holiness and love one another!    

-J.

  

Refrain from Complaining

Tuesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

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Numbers 21:4-9

In punishment the LORD sent among the people saraph serpents,which bit the people so that many of them died.

Gospel of John 8:21-30
So Jesus said to them,“When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM,

and that I do nothing on my own,but I say only what the Father taught me. The one who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him.” Because he spoke this way, many came to believe in him.

Watch out for that serpent!  Poor Moses!  He must have pulled out huge chunks of his long white hair listening to the Israelites constantly complaining. The mumbling and grumbling was way too much. Would the Israelites have preferred life of persecution and slavery in Egypt?  I doubt it!   Nobody ever promised the journey to the Promiseland would be easy. Yet, the Chosen People seem to forget that  temporary hardship would eventually lead to freedom and new life!  God blessed them with the manna and the quail.  He also helped them escape from the grasp of Pharoah.  He protected them from harm.  But, they continued to moan and groan anyway.  Finally the Lord had enough of them and sent out seraphs to bite and kill!!  Moses remedies the situation by placing a seraph on a pole which immediately stops the serpents from further destruction. 

Does the image of a serpent on a pole remind you of anything?  Think of Jesus Christ crucified!  Moses' seraph on a pole saved the Israelites from death just as Jesus Christ dying on the cross saved us from our sins.  Both images show the incredible mercy and grace God bestows on each one of us.  He is forever protecting and strengthening his people.  All we need to do is believe and remain faithful in our beliefs....  

Be thankful for our blessings and refrain from complaining!

Refrain from Complaining  The next time you feel like complaining about something think about a serpent biting at your toes.  Does it sting?  Does it burn?  It hurts like heck, doesn't it?  It's a good thing the Lord doesn't formally punish us like the people of the Old Testament or we'd all be in bad shape.  

God doesn't want us to constantly whine, moan and groan.  We need to learn the grace of contentment.  Not everything will work out the way we hope.  We must accept circumstances as they are and try to deal with them as best as we can.  One thing for certain is things will change.  Nothing stays the same for long.  I find when I hold my tongue and don't complain about a situation it normally works itself out!  Then I can breathe a sigh of relief.  God has clever ways of handling circumstances that seem impossible.  He understands our burdens and struggles.  He will help us in times of need.  Don't worry.  Remain faithful and strong!

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Carry A Pocket-Sized Gospel!

This past Sunday, after his Angelus address, Pope Francis handed out pocked-sized gospels to  pilgrims visiting St. Peter's Square. What a beautiful and holy gesture!  

Pope Francis shared the following words with the crowd:

"During the last few Sundays I have suggested to all of you to obtain a small copy of the Gospel, to carry with you during the day, so you can read it frequently. Then I thought of an ancient tradition of the Church during Lent, of giving the Gospel to catechumens, and to those who are preparing for Baptism. So, today I wish to offer you, here in the square – but as a sign to all – a pocket-sized Gospel. It will be distributed free. … And like Him, I say to you, freely you have received, freely give – give the message of the Gospel! … Let us do something: in exchange for this give, carry out an act of charity, a gesture of love, freely given; a prayer for enemies, reconciliation, something. Today we can also read the Gospel using many technological instruments. You can carry the entire Bible around with you in a smartphone, in a tablet. The important thing is to read the Word of God, by any means – read the Word of God, is it Jesus who is speaking to you!”

Saint Dominic used to always carry a book of the Gospel of Matthew and the letters of Saint Paul everywhere he traveled.  He felt studying and reflecting on scripture was essential to effective preaching!

I remember when the Gideon bibles used to be passed out in local churches and street corners.  Of course, with so much anti-religious sentiment in our culture these days, the poor Gideons would be cursed and yelled at.  Some people think the bible should be tossed aside unread.  I mean, it advocates good moral living and love for our enemies which is so foreign in our secular environment.  Pope Francis makes it very clear that we should read the gospels regularly and allow Jesus to speak to us on an intimate level!  

There's really no excuse not to read the bible.  So many apps are available on our smartphones and tablets which can quickly link us to scripture.  I like to visit the readings of the days through the USCCB website.  Also, one of the best free phone apps for the Liturgy of the Hours and scripture readings of the day is iBreviary.  

Let us take the Holy Father's advice and immerse ourselves in the message of the Gospel!  The bible is a treasure trove of wisdom and knowledge.  Don't think of it as boring reading but nourishing food for the soul!

-J.