Under the Fig Tree

The Feasts of Saints Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, Archangels 

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Gospel of John 1:47-51

Jesus answered and said to him, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree?  You will see greater things than this.” And he said to him, “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see heaven opened  and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

Today on the Feast day of the Archangels, my mother celebrates her birthday.  She just happens to be on her way to Choctaw casino with my sister and niece for a little bit of slot machine play.  I wish I was there with them, but I'm stuck here at home with the sniffles.  A stuffy head, sore throat and dry cough isn't so pleasant.  I get horrendous ragweed and elm allergies this time of the year, so hopefully these symptoms will pass soon.  I don't like being couped up for long. At least this gives me the excuse to blog.

What if I lived during the time of Jesus and he saw me sitting underneath a fig tree?  I'd be surprised he'd notice me, sitting there all alone contemplating life.  He has so many other people to heal and miracles to perform.  Why pay attention to me?  What possibly did I have to offer?  I'm not on my death bed or leading a terribly sinful life.

I've always doubted my abilities and talents.  I've never thought I was good enough for anyone, much less the Lord.  Every day I pray for an improvement in my esteem.  Some days are better than others.  Even though I doubt myself I never doubt God's existence.  He's there somewhere in my presence.  Sometimes I wonder if he may slip in an archangel or two to watch over me when he has an emergency soul to work on!  Possibly Our Lady acts on his behalf , too.  All of the heavenly hosts work frantically up and down the heavenly ladder, ascending and descending.  So many souls to watch over, console, and convert.  The Angels, especially the Archangels, work through infinite time and space.  

I love the image of a tree.  If you follow my blog, you've probably noticed I've written about it a lot. I've never seen what a real fig tree looks like, but the delectable fruit is hard to resist.  (Fig Newtons!)

Not believing in God, and steadfastly holding on to that disbelief, is like sitting underneath a dead fig tree with no leaves, no fruit, and rotting bark.  There's nothing there to provide us shade from the sun.  No birds, squirrels, no life period, inhabits the tree.  This dead old tree is an ugly sight which sticks out among the other trees in the orchard. No one bothers to cut it down because it's still a member of the community.  Some may even try to go near it to see if it can be revived back to life with some fertilizer and water.  But a dead tree is a dead tree. 

On the other hand, believing in God is like sitting underneath a fig tree bearing much fruit. It's trunk is well grounded; its leaves spread out loaded with figs.  We can take a piece of fruit and enjoy its sweetness while shading ourselves under the leafy canopy.  The birds, the insects, the squirrels, and all of God's creatures love this tree.  It's life giving and life affirming.  It attracts other believers to sit underneath its beautiful branches.  

I have much more contemplating to do underneath my fig tree.  I have many changes ahead that I'm ready to enact.  Some people/situations will be told Goodbye whereas others will be greeted with a friendly Hello.  As the angels are busy up and down the heavenly staircase so am I busy preparing my soul for eternal reward.  

-J.

United in One Heart

Twenty-sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Philippians 2:1-11

Brothers and sisters: If there is any encouragement in Christ,
any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit,
any compassion and mercy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing. Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests,
but also for those of others.

Baptism Day  This morning my 6 month old niece was baptized in the United Methodist Church. I had not been in a protestant church for a very long time.  It felt weird to stand in a sanctuary without a crucifix, a tabernacle or kneelers.  (The sanctuary did have two candles placed on top of a white altar with a standard cross without a corpus.) Two women preachers performed the church service; something you'd never see in a Catholic church.    I have to say I was quite impressed with the sermon's message.  (Great ideas for future blog posts!) The way she presented the readings from Proverbs 3 was interesting and engaging.  The woman pastor is a professor at a local Methodist seminary and gives lectures on preaching, so no wonder she was an excellent speaker.

At one point during the service, the family and my niece were asked to go up to the baptismal bowl at the front of the sanctuary.  The associate woman pastor briefly looked at the shiny Miraculous medal I was wearing.  Even though I was in a Methodist church, I have no problem wearing a catholic piece of jewelry.  In fact, a couple of times I almost crossed myself when the pastor said "In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit," strictly out of habit. I refrained myself so not to stick out more than I already did...

 One of my brother-in-law's sisters sat behind me in the pew.  She noticed the pendant, too, commenting, "Is that Our Lady you are wearing?"  I answered, "Yes it is!"  She replied, "How beautiful!"  Later I found out she and her husband are devout Catholics.  I'm sure they felt just as odd inside of a protestant church without the sacramentals we normally see every Sunday.

My niece has now begun her journey into the kingdom of heaven as member of the communion of Christ.  I welcome her with loving and open arms.  Even though she wasn't baptized Catholic, I'm still happy she was baptized in some form of Christianity.  It was a beautiful ceremony any case. We had a beautiful family brunch after the service.

Change and conversion  I must say this morning's baptism, the woman pastor's sermon on fear of the lord, and today's readings from the Catholic liturgy made me think of change and conversion.  Change is something some people don't mind doing whereas others find it nauseating and overwhelming.  Often we are comfortable in our own skins, living in sin and destructive habits.  We act in selfish ways that defeat the purpose of Christianity  which calls us to remain humble, loving and united with others as one beating heart.  

In the first reading, the Lord asks Ezekiel a pertinent question:  "Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair?"  We automatically want to blame God when things aren't going so well in our lives.  We see those around us with all kinds of material possessions, academic degrees, and popularity.  We may even think God doesn't play fair giving some people more than others.  We become disillusioned and frustrated, sometimes even taking out our frustrations in sinful ways (Think of envy, jealousy and resentment).

When we feed our minds with Holy scripture and feed our hearts with love, suddenly we begin to see that God really is fair.  He is constantly blessing us with unique gifts, given to us based on our abilities and what God has planned for us.  If we stole everybody else's gifts, and never realized our own natural talents, what a sad life we'd lead!  Many people prowl about the world seeking to ruin the reputations of others who have things they "think" they need, too. They fail to acknowledge that maybe God has talents in store for these spiritual thieves which are even more amazing! 

The grass may appear greener on the other side but it may not be necessarily healthy for us to eat.

Follow God's Will by remaining united and strong in the Christian faith, no matter if you're Catholic, protestant, or non-denominational.  We are much stronger as a Christian whole than as separate factions who's theology and customs are so varied.  

Be united in one heart devoted to Jesus Christ! Amen.

-J.

Go to the Poor: You Will Find God!

Memorial of Saint Vincent de Paul, Priest

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While they were all amazed at his every deed, Jesus said to his disciples, “Pay attention to what I am telling you. The Son of Man is to be handed over to men.” But they did not understand this saying; its meaning was hidden from them so that they should not understand it, and they were afraid to ask him about this saying.

Shortly after I became Catholic in 1998, I joined the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul.  For three years, I volunteered as secretary for our parish group, helped with clothing donations and made occasional home visits.  I remember one visit in particular.  A Latina needed emergency rent money. Her husband had suddenly left her, forcing her to support her four small children alone.  She lived in a cramped apartment infested with cockroaches. My heart swelled with pity for her.   Her eyes conveyed a desperate plea for help as she shared her story in broken English.  We provided her with rental assistance and gave her groceries from our church food pantry.

My brief time as a Vincentian was a spiritually rewarding experience.   I loved my fellow volunteers as well as the needy people we served.  We interacted with the poorest of the poor but also others literally begging for free handouts.  We relied on prayer and common sense to discern between people truly in need and others abusing the church's charity.  We often received alerts about scams hitting area churches which helped us in our work.

Saint Vincent de Paul was an outstanding role model as a servant of the poor.  He eloquently wrote:

"You will find out that Charity is a heavy burden to carry, heavier than the kettle of soup and the full basket. But you will keep your gentleness and your smile. It is not enough to give soup and bread. This the rich can do. You are the servant of the poor, always smiling and good-humored. They are your masters, terribly sensitive and exacting master you will see. And the uglier and the dirtier they will be, the more unjust and insulting, the more love you must give them. It is only for your love alone that the poor will forgive you the bread you give to them."

Pay attention!    Pay attention to the people around you.  Looks can be deceiving.  The dirty, smelly man sitting next to you on the bus may have a heart of gold.  A woman holding a sign on a street corner may be in genuine need, not intending to use money for drugs.   A  young man sleeping in a cardboard box under a bridge may be a war veteran, unable to get work due to mental illness.  All of the poor and homeless deserve our love and compassion.  They do not deserve to be cast aside, left in squalor.  If Saint Vincent de Paul lived today, he'd help people in need without question or pre-conceived judgment.

Some of richest are poor in spirit whereas some of the poorest are rich in spirit.  It's amazing how one is humbled by a lack of material possessions. It's refreshing how much we see Christ in the poor among us.

Why do so many desire to be rich, wealthy, and prosperous? All of the money in the world; all the prestige in the world; all of the prized possessions in the world won't matter in heaven so why care about them on earth?  Maybe we should change our perspective.  Stop going "gaga" over the wealthy and start paying more attention to the poor.  We can learn so much from their strength and resolve; their determination and resourcefulness; and their willingness to make the best out of difficult situations.  

Saint Vincent de Paul had the right idea when he wrote, "Go to the poor: you will find God."  God is truly present in the poor but so many people refuse to see it.  A lot has to do with fear; fear that poverty will strike them, too.  Could I become poor and homeless one day just like this man or woman on the street?

Please support Saint Vincent de Paul at your local parish by donating can goods, clothing, furniture, household wear, or even monetary funds.  It's deeply needed and very much appreciated!  If you can't donate, please pray for the poor and homeless as well as the continued success of this beautiful service to the needy!

"Who will excuse us before God for the loss of such a great number of people, who could be saved by the slight assistance we could give them?" - Saint Vincent de Paul

Saint Vincent de Paul, Pray for Us!

-J.

Montserrat Retreat (Day Four) - Beauty & Martyrdom

The souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace.  -Wisdom 3:1-3


Journal Entry:  (Dining Hall after breakfast)  Sunday, September 21, 2014 8am CST

I experienced another disturbing dream last night which morphed into a retro-drama.  In my nocturnal sleep, my mind transported back to high school.  It was near graduation and I discovered my GPA dropped.  I'd no longer be a Top-Ten senior!  I received a C in Chemistry.  My mom and I went to the assistant principal for a grade review.  Discrepancies were discovered but not enough to raise my GPA.  I felt anxious realizing I'd no longer be able to get into college.  Then, the dream changed to a new location - the middle of an old run down warehouse.  I quit my current job but decided to speak to my boss about getting it back.  All of these marketing folks were partying at a bar inside this shack of a watering hole.  I bought everybody a round of drinks in hopes of an invite to return to the company.  No such luck.  Later, I found myself at my mom's old apartment where we grew up.  She wanted me to fix her computer.  I ended up hiring some random guy to show me how.  I woke up at 2 am from this endless dreaming, hearing the click of the air conditioner.  Once again, thank God this dream wasn't for real.......God is so random! He surprises us every single day with his presence, even in weird, far-out, and crazy dreams we experience in slumber.....

I've been paying a lot of attention to the trees, the birds, and the insects this weekend.  What a menagerie of wildness and intrigue.  Last night while sipping a cup of hot tea outside the dining area, I noticed two geckos crawling on a support beam. A large spider appeared  as a potential tasty snack.  Poor gecko.  He missed the kill!  The spider ran away in a flash.  The gecko was left to lick the crumbles of nearby gnats.

In our own lives, we often "go for the kill" when we're upset with someone or something.  We moan and groan, complain until others are tired of hearing us.  They turn a deaf ear!  That's when we decide to take actions into our own hands.  We often get in trouble either with the law; forge enemies against us, or feel guilt ridden.  Any time we attempt to act against God's will, we are left sad and depressed.  There's a difference between killing for survival/self-defense and killing for selfish readings.

Last night during evening mass, Father told us a story about ISIS troops going into homes, asking the children the following question:  "Will you stop believing in Jesus and renounce him?"  Every one of these children said NO;  they would continue to worship Christianity.  As a result, these children were each beheaded in front of their own families!  These innocent children became instant martyrs for the faith.  I wanted to cry after I heard this story.  This is one of those situations most people won't hear about on the local news.  It's too gut wrenching, too vile, and too horrific.  I pray every single day the Islamic State militant group will be destroyed for good.

There's so much evil in the world.  It's been there since Adam and Eve first took a bite out of the forbidden fruit.  Evil seems to get worse over the years.  Maybe it's because the Media are constantly flooding us with depressing news stories.

I keep everyone suffering from religious persecution at the forefront of my prayers.  Innocent children dying makes my heart bleed with immense sorrow.  What a tremendous loss for the families.

A Prayer - For Those Persecuted for Their Faith

Dear Lord, please protect those persecuted for their belief in You!  Pour out your love and grace so there will be conversions of hearts.  No more senseless violence.  No more children killed.  No more families suffering.  Wrap the persecuted in your warm embrace.  Amen.

Montserrat Retreat (Day Three) - Praying Under the Oak Tree

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end."  - Thomas Merton


Journal Entry:  (Underneath an oak tree) Saturday, September 20, 2014 9:30 am CST

I skipped the morning Prayer Conference to pray my rosary in front of a huge oak tree near the Stations of the Cross at the front entrance to Montserrat.  A weathered statue of Our Lady holding the infant child sets at the bottom of the tree.  Monarch butterflies flutter around the statue and the tree's base.  How old is this tree, I wonder?  It's gigantic limbs droop slightly.  The locusts and birds are really chatty this morning.  A seagull in particular must be crying out to his mate.  Even crickets, louder at night, chirp away.  I love the sounds and beauty of nature!

No one can deny God's handiwork surrounding me!  The sounds of airplanes and cars passing by make me realize I'm still in the city.  I can't totally escape life, but I can do my best to appreciate nature's subtleties.  Being around the trees, the wind, and the lake is a peaceful oasis nestled quaintly around a bustling metropolis.  Thank the Lord for this private time with him.  I really need it - a time to reflect; a time to appreciate; a time to re-evaluate what is going good and not-so-good in my life.

This old oak tree has experienced many seasons, much pruning and growth.  In times of drought, its survived.  In times of wilt, it has healed itself.  In times of fruitfulness, the squirrels carefully stored up the tree's acorns.  Many people visiting Montserrat in years past have sat under this very tree admiring its beauty and magnificence.

Our own lives change with the seasons like an oak tree.  We weather disease and heal to produce fruit.  We grow in wisdom as we age with roots firmly entrenched in the soil.  Our faith in Christ and our resolve to follow his will helps us mature.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen wrote, "Age is more merciful than youth.  It was the young men who counseled David to be cruel; the old counseled him to be merciful.  Those who have the faith, and live virtuously, dwell in radiant expectation of the glory this is to come."

An Original Poem:  Where do I see you, Lord?

Where do I see you, Lord?

In the sunrise and the sunset;

In the turmoils I experience each day;

In the faces I've not yet met.

You're there present with me,

An unseen reality;

Many people fail to believe;

You died on Calvary.

They think you are fiction;

A person who never existed;

A figment of the imagination;

Not worthy of veneration.

I know the Truth, Lord.

You died for my salvation.

I put my trust in you, Lord.

You're there for my protection.

Where do I see you, Lord?

You're there standing next to me;

Ready to pour forth graces;

And prepare me for eternity.

I look forward to you acceptance;

Into the pearly gates of heaven.

Amen.

Montserrat Retreat (Day Two) - Dreams, Nature & Poetry

"Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day.  Darkness and light are but one."  (Montserrat Retreat Morning Prayer)


Journal Entry: (In my private room) Friday, September 19, 2014 6:15 am CST

I woke up with a start, experiencing another one of my unusual dreams. (I've had so many of them lately!!) This time mom and her friend set me up with a handsome man.  After a couple of telephone calls, we go out on a date.  He sends me a huge bouquet of white flowers, but they arrive with a few blooms dead already.

In my dream, the date with this man was like an orgy with drugs and booze.  Animals were being genetically re-engineered into grotesque hybrids.  I was asked to dance with other women and perform sex acts and strange rituals in front of this man.  I refused such debauchery so the man leaves.  His home is trashed.  The rest of the dream I'm trying to convince my mom he's really a "nice guy."  (What??...)  I woke up remembering I'm here at Montserrat safe with the Lord!  It was only a dream and not real.  But, I'm still disturbed by it.

Why have my dreams been so intense lately?  Is the Lord trying to tell me something like Joseph in his dreams?  I met a lady at dinner last night who is experiencing a lot of pain.  The doctors cannot give a diagnose.  She is very scared at what the future holds.  Just a few months ago she dreamed of the Devil in his classic red costume.  It was so real to her that it only added to her fear.  She planned to speak to one of the priests about her circumstances.

Personally, I've never dreamed of the devil.  However, I've dreamed of devilish-like people such as the handsome dark-haired man during last night's restless sleep.  I find it consoling I didn't go along with the orgy, but still disturbed something so disgusting emerged from my subsconscious.  I'm sure Freud would have loved to psychoanalyze me....

A Prayer - Open My Eyes, Dear Lord!

Dear Lord, open my eyes to the evil and suffering in the world.  Help me to be more compassionate and less self-serving.  Many time I look inward and don't see outward.  I'm blessed with so much; yet, I don't think it's good enough!  I pray for the grace to see the light glowing among others, sympathizing with their burdens-pain, addiction, loneliness, broken marriages, and lack of faith in Christ.  They deserve my prayers.  When I think of others before myself, I feel happy and at peace.  Amen.

Original Poem #1  "I put my trust in you, Lord"

I put my trust in you, Lord.

You are my steward and guide.

I don't have to fear what happens;

With you by my side.

Sometimes I ignore you;

I'm wrapped in my own thoughts.

Why do I do this, Lord?

I don't want everlasting drought.

An arid place of thirst;

A foreign place of hunger;

A wide place of struggle;

An ocean scent of thunder.

I put my trust in you, Lord.

Please be there for me!

Original Poem #2 - Care for One Another

Well grounded in the Spirit;

Brings peace to the Soul.

Prayer to Jesus, the Shepherd;

Keeps us intimately whole.

We divide ourselves in anger;

Bicker amongst in strife;

Claim pride and vanity;

Even taking a life!

A precious life so weak;

Needing guidance and help;

Instead we throw it away;

Like something used and spelt.

Care for one another.

Love one another.

Be there for one another.

Never fail one another;

With empty promises, lies, and deceit.

Journal Entry:  (Sitting by the Lake)  7:30 am

Lord, your love basks in my heart like a rising sun with a warmth and a touch.  I feel your presence encompassing me.  You are speaking and I'm listening.  I feel the wind whispering on my neck.  The cool morning air wraps me in an embrace.  The crickets chirp away unaware of humans present while the water on the lake glides smoothly in westernly ripples.  I love the silence and the smell of the damp moss.  The morning dew lays a glistening film over the blades of grass.  A seagull flies by with a loud "Gak!"  The wind visits me once again:  Is it you, Lord, wrapping your arms around me ever so gently?  How do you wish for me to better serve you?  My ears and heart still patiently listen.

I love you with all my heart, mind, and strength. Thank-you for the beauty of nature.  The cacophony of birds and insects, while in human silence, reminds me of your every day presence on earth.  I'm so thankful for everything, Dear Jesus!

Montserrat Retreat (Day One) - I Put My Trust In You, Lord!

"He is my comfort and my refuge.  In him I put my trust." (Psalm 91:2)

 
This past weekend I attended a silent retreat at Montserrat Jesuit Retreat House in Lake Dallas, TX.  I kept a journal throughout the retreat, making notes of feelings and senses.   This is the first post in a series of four.   All of the photos were taken on site.  I hope you find my thoughts insightful.  Blessings, - J.


Journal Entry:  Thursday, September 18, 2014 9pm CST

After a busy day testing colour samples at work, I finally made it to Montserrat!  Looking forward to three days of silence.  I locked up my cell phone in the car.  No checking email or Blogger!  I'm using "Christian Prayer" for the Liturgy of the Hours.  I really want to "get into the groove" so to speak and work on my prayer structure as a future Lay Dominican (morning and evening Divine Office, a rosary, and daily mass.)  I get lax a lot with so many other things I decide to do instead!

The evening prayer Antiphon I (Week IV) for today really resonates with me:  "He is my comfort and my refuge.  In him I put my trust."  Perhaps this should be a theme for my retreat:  I put my trust in the Lord.  Amen.

"If you hunger for holiness, God will satisfy your longing, good measuring, and flowing over." (Evening prayer Canticle of Mary Antiphon)

"Lord, it is your will that men use their minds to unlock nature's secrets and master the world." (Evening Prayer Intercessions)

A quick journal entry for this evening.  Plan to write more tomorrow morning.

Thank you, Jesus, for this special solo time with YOU!!!

On God's Radar

Lk 36-50  On God's Radar

Thursday of the Twenty-fourth Week in Ordinary Time


(Click Here for Readings)

He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 
The others at table said to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” But he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

About ten years ago, on my way to work, I got stuck in traffic on a feeder road toward the interstate.  Two stop lights emerged one after the other. Not realizing, I ran through the first red light because my eyes focused on the second green light.  As I waited to cross the intersection, I heard a tap, tap, tap on my driver's side window. Two bicycle cops stood next to my car while a third officer carried a radar gun. I rolled down the window.  "Is there a problem, officers?"  I asked calmly. One of the officers replied:  "Ma'am, you just ran that stop light back there.  We need for you to pull over out of traffic."  I was like, "What the....? Are you kidding me?"   I fumed in anger.  Here I could hardly move my vehicle in this traffic mess, and I get pulled over by bicycle patrol.  How ridiculous!  I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I blasted my horn (repeatedly) while shouting out profanities (not very lady-like!) Two of the cops laughed at my spectacle while the other one remained serious.   "Ma'am, if you don't calm down we'll take you over to the jail.  It's only on the other side of this street."  Uh oh.....Let's just say I reversed the bad attitude, apologized, and accepted the ticket with a "Have a nice day."  I was late to work carrying in my wallet a hefty $200 traffic citation. 

Shortly after the incident with the cops, I went to confession. I humbly asked for the Lord's forgiveness.  My mother always warned me that if I ever ended up in jail she would never bail me out.  This run-in with the bicycle cops forever stamped mom's warning into my stubborn brain.  

Police vs. God's Radar We are all sinners, like it or not.  We make errors, blunders, and mistakes.  God's radar detector is aimed at us 24/7.  It's not the same as a police officer's radar gun ready to pull us over and slap us with a fine for speeding.  God's radar is like a heavenly telescope watching our every move, ready to assist us at any moment. He knows when we've done things wrong , giving us the opportunity to seek forgiveness.  We should realize His presence and pray, pray, pray.  When a situation occurs out of our control, we know that God is in control.  Bad circumstances do not last forever.

Pharisee vs. Sinful Woman  In today's gospel reading, the Pharisee is critical of the sinful woman washing Jesus' feet with her hair.  What a disgraceful act.  Does Our Lord not know what kind of woman she is?  Jesus knows precisely who she is!  In fact, Jesus appreciates her great humility.  The feet can be a smelly, and dirty part of the body, especially after walking around in the desert; yet, the sinful woman bathes them with her tears.  The odor doesn't bother her.  She doesn't mind the dirt.  All she wants is to show how much she loves Jesus.  A simple, loving touch from a sinner is all Our Lord needs to pour out his graces. 

Have you been to the Sacrament of Reconciliation in a while?  Maybe it's time to make an appointment with a priest.  Remember that God's radar is always keeping an eye on us - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Take the opportunity to seek out forgiveness.  It will strengthen and encourage you!

"Oh Lord, you search me and you know me, you know my resting and my rising you discern my purpose from afar.  You mark when I walk or lie down, all my ways lie open to you...."  - Psalm 139

 -J.

Professions & Spiritual Gifts

Memorial of Saints Cornelius, Pope, and Cyprian, Bishop, Martyrs

(Click Here for Readings)

1 Corinthians  12:12-14, 27-31A

Now you are Christ’s Body, and individually parts of it. Some people God has designated in the Church to be, first, Apostles; second, prophets; third, teachers; then, mighty deeds; then gifts of healing, assistance, administration, and varieties of tongues. Are all Apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers?

Do all work mighty deeds? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

I keep experiencing a reoccurring dream where I'm back in college at Texas A&M.  I'm  running toward something or running away from something.  People from my past and present make  appearances.  Just the other night I dreamed I was in the dorm cafeteria.  I tried to use "Aggie Bucks" from my 20 year old student ID.   I needed to go upstairs to get a new one.  Then I walked up several escalators in search of a specific room that I couldn't locate.  I kept asking people over and over where the room was at, including some Muslim women.  Then a man selling soda pop said, "Sorry, Aggie Bucks are no longer accepted on campus.  This is a cash only facility."  Yikes!

I finally figured out why I keep dreaming I'm back in college.  I subconsciously wish I was back in my youth with the whole world ahead of me.  If only I had a second chance to do things different!  Select a different major, such as engineering or computer science, where jobs are plentiful and pay excellent.  Attended graduate school like I originally planned.  Worshiped in the Catholic Church at the start of my freshman year...

I think we all regret our past choices.  When we are young and naive, it doesn't occur to us that we should prepare better for the future.  We think our looks and our charming personalities will always make a striking impression.  We erroneously think we are naturally gifted in everything.  There's this sense of entitlement:

I was a straight A student in college so I deserve my dream job!  Oh, and by the way, give me the freedom to work when I want and definitely don't criticize me.  My ego is just too fragile. I can't handle it......

I think it's important to discern the gifts that God has given to us and apply them to our chosen profession.   Sometimes the career we choose isn't practical or in line with what the Lord really wants us to do with our lives.  For example,  I know people who've tried to make a career in the acting field.  Yes, they are very talented in voice and presence.  However the competition is tough and very few people make it big.  So how else can they use their speaking and acting abilities?  Can they use it in a way to bring people to Christ?

How can we use our chosen professions in a way to evangelize the faith?  I think of doctors and nurses who volunteer their time in poor countries serving the needy.  I think of contractors and builders who donate materials in order to build a new home for someone who lost one in a natural disaster.  I think of attorneys who perform pro-bono work to help illegal immigrants with documentation.

As Saint Paul says to the Corinthians, " Now you are Christ's body and individual parts of it."   God created each one of us as an important part of the body of Christ.  Some are called to heal.  Some are called to build.  Some are called to teach.  Some are called to create.  Do we accept the challenge to work for the glory of God or do we decide live in a constant state of regret?

When our careers are going no where, let us turn to the Lord in prayer.  What is he saying to you?  Is he telling you to make some changes?  Is he bringing people into your life who can help?

When our chosen profession and our spiritual gifts are in line with God's will, there's a sense of peace and fulfillment.  Even if it's not our dream job we can still be proud of the work we do knowing we are one part of the whole body of Christ.

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Fear of the Unknown (An Original Poem)

I lie awake at night;

With sweat tickling my face.

I worry about my life;

And what I will embrace.

Will I live to be old?

Will I always be alone?

Is there a chance at eternal happiness;

With the Lord of Heaven above?

I fear what lies ahead;

Uncertain of God's plan.

I think things are fine;

For now, I hope and pray.

 I'm not ready for crosses;

I cannot bear alone. 

I know Jesus is up there;

Will he hear my cries and moans?

I'm not always thrilled;

With the way life turns out.

I know I should feel blessed;

Instead I pity and pout.

Thinking woes is me;

Life is stinky and bad.

Not much to offer;

Why am I alive and sad?

Sad I don't have this; 

Resenting people with that;

Ill at ease with sentiment;

Doomed to fall flat.

Christ is the answer; 

I accept this welcoming truth;

Because I love Him so;

No need to hide and sleuth.

The Lord watches over me;

He knows my every move.

He understands my fears;

He does not disapprove.

But instead forgives and forgets;

The wrong I have done.

He loves me unconditionally;

He sees a pretty woman.

Created with a purpose; 

To share my gifts and talents.

Push away the fear;

Don't  guess God's plan.

Live in the present;

Keep Christ close at heart;

With a mighty Amen.

-J.

The Eyes of Our Lady of Sorrows

Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows

(Click Here for Readings)


Gospel of Luke 2:33-35

"Jesus’ father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

After Sunday Mass, I greeted our priest with a hello and handshake.  The usual crowd of families surrounded him.  He asked me if everything was going okay. I nodded my head.  "Yes, I'm doing okay.  I'm going on a Montserrat retreat next weekend."  He replied,  "That's wonderful!  You can't go wrong with Montserrat.....I will pray for you."  As he spoke to me, I  noticed the circles and bags around his eyes.  Even through the smiles, the jokes, and his normal priestly charisma, his eyes revealed overwork and fatigue. I guess I looked at the eyes a little too intensely because Father questioned me:  "Why are you looking at me....like that?"   I stood there speechless. I didn't want to tell him what I was thinking, especially around other people......

 I'm totally in awe of you as a vicar of Christ.  I love you very much.  You look so tired and exhausted.  Please take better care of yourself.  You are always in my prayers.

 The eyes are the windows into the soul.  They reveal so much about our hidden selves.  The eyes shed tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow.  They become dry with shame and bloodshot from sleeplessness.  Looking directly into someone else's eyes can be quite piercing and unsettling.  It's more comfortable for us to stare into a computer or smartphone screen than straight into another person's eyes.

The Blessed Virgin Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, witnessed through her own eyes the grueling passion and crucifixion of her only son.  As a mother, she wept and cried copious amounts of tears.  She grieved when her son died.  Like any woman who has lost a child, it is gut wrenching experience.  She didn't know what to do or who to turn to until Jesus revealed The Beloved Disciple would be her care taker.  Jesus would not allow his mother to live the rest of her life in grief and pain.  She would be well taken care of.

 How did Mary get through all of this heartache?  How did she keep her pierced heart from bleeding out?  She was given eternal graces from heaven and the special role of intermediary.  This required her to be courageous and strong.  Our Blessed Virgin Mary is a role model for all of us who hurt, experiencing trials and tribulations.  If she could handle it, so can we with her grace and the grace of her son, Jesus Christ.

"Through you we drink from the wellsprings of salvation, O Blessed Virgin Mary"  (Divine Office Morning Prayer Responsory)

-J.

Conquered on a Tree

Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross

(Click Here for Readings)

Gospel of John 3:13-17

Jesus said to Nicodemus: “No one has gone up to heaven except the one who has come down from heaven, the Son of Man. And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.”

The Blind Woman & Nicodemus  This morning I was blessed to attend mass at two different parishes.  I like to do this on feast days, especially ones like the Exaltation of the Cross, that I find difficult to understand.  It's a great way for me to hear two different homilies, comparing and contrasting the priests' interpretation of the Gospel reading.  I always learn something new and enlightening.

During the mass at a sister parish, I was pleasantly surprised when a blind woman approached the podium to sing the responsorial psalm.  Her seeing-eye dog laid peacefully by her side as she smiled, singing with passion and expression.  I thought to myself, "Wow, this woman can't see the sheet music or the people in the pews.  She's can't even see an image of Christ crucified on the cross that we venerate today.  Yet, even with lack of eyesight, she's blessed with such an angelic voice! So beautiful!"

Then I thought about Nicodemus speaking to Jesus and asking him questions.  He spoke to Our Lord in complete darkness, in the dead of the night.  He feared his fellow Sanhedrin finding out that he was in "talks" with Christ.  Nicodemus would see the light in his own faith conversion.

Conquered on a Tree  The image of the crucifix reminds us of the pain and suffering Christ went through when he died on the cross. Crucifixion was a form of capital punishment at the time.  So why on earth does the Church celebrate such a bloody image?  Jesus' death gave us a chance at eternal life.  Jesus' death washed away our sins.  Jesus willingly sacrificed his own flesh and blood out of great love for us.  The rich words from today's Eucharistic preface explains further:

"For you placed the salvation of the human race on the wood of the Cross, so that, where death arose, life might again spring forth and the evil one, who conquered on the tree, might likewise on a tree be conquered, through Christ Our Lord."

Dig Deep and Lift High   When reflecting on the image of the crucifix,  I imagine a large live oak tree in front of me.  I want to climb it's beautiful branches in order to see the Lord in heaven above!  I lift my arms high but can't even reach one of the beautiful branches.  I carefully climb up the bark of the tree but slip and fall.  I see that the tree's roots are visible on the surface of the soil.  They are not very deep, so I can easily trip on them!  Then I spot one lonely branch drooping toward the ground.  I grab a hold of it but then it snaps in half.  I'm back to square one.  How on earth will I get to the top of the tree of heaven?  I must dig deep, deep deep! Let go of my pride.  I must let go of my anger.  I must learn to love others.  I must learn to follow God's will more than my own will.  As God sees that I'm working on myself, carrying my crosses with humility and patience,  suddenly the tree is easier to climb.

"Lift High the Cross" is one of my favorite hymns.  It reminds me that the crucifixion isn't just a bloody horrible death but also a new spring on life.  We are called to carry our own crosses with humility and grace.  It's a difficult task but way worth it.

-J.

The Gospel Free of Charge

Friday of the Twenty-third a Week in Ordinary Time

(Click Here for Readings)

1 Corinthians 9:16-19; 22B-27

Brothers and sisters: If I preach the Gospel, this is no reason for me to boast, for an obligation has been imposed on me, and woe to me if I do not preach it! If I do so willingly, I have a recompense, but if unwillingly, then I have been entrusted with a stewardship. What then is my recompense? That, when I preach, I offer the Gospel free of charge so as not to make full use of my right in the Gospel.

What if Saint Dominic and Saint Paul met in person? They both had a zeal for preaching the Truth of the Gospel, offering it "free of charge" to anyone who'd listen and come to believe.  What would the exchange be like?  Would Dominic request tips from Paul on how to preach more effectively?  Would they share the Eucharist together?  

Many Catholics think that "preaching" is the exclusive responsibility of ordained pastors, priests, and deacons. They don't understand that as baptized Christians we are all called to "preach" the good news through every day actions.  We may not stand in front of a crowd delivering a Sunday homily, but we can preach in other ways.  Minister to the needy; volunteer in liturgical ministry; speak on behalf of the protection of the unborn and the illegal immigrant; or pray for the welfare of others as we go about our ordinary lives. We never know when we may encounter a person who does not know Christ.  If we are not there to minister, to preach by our example, then we may lose a soul.

In the classic Parker Brothers board game "Monopoly,"  we move our metal trinkets around a board buying property.  We roll the dice .  Oh no....our marker lands on "Go to Jail".  Time to spend some fake money to bail ourselves out.  However, if we have the coveted "Get Out of Jail free" card we're set.  We are back in the game without a penny out of our fake wallets.

Reading and meditating on the gospels, as well as sharing the good news with others, is like receiving a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.  Instantly, we receive hope that God will help us better handle our daily crosses and tribulations.  We are not left alone to rot in our own self-made prisons shackled to a cinder blocked wall!   We have a source of wisdom and guidance through stories of old; stories of  healing, love, sacrifice, and forgiveness.  We can relate to these stories.  Unfortunately, humanity hasn't really changed much since biblical times.  

The next time we feel ill at ease, open up the Gospels and read a few passages. Meditate on the words and meaning.  Reflect on how the message can be adapted to every day life and the life of others.  Don't be afraid to preach the good news to others!

-J.

Remembering 9/11

Thursday of the Twenty-Third Week in Ordinary Time

(Click Here for Readings)

Gospel of Luke 6:27-38

Jesus said to his disciples:

“To you who hear I say, love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…”

On September 11, 2001, around 7:30 am, the telephone rang. " Have you seen the news?" my mother said  on the other side of the line.  Her voice trembled:  "The New York City twin towers blew up.  I witnessed the second airplane crash live on television!  This is just horrible!"  I was still groggy and half-asleep, not quite understanding what was going until I switched on the television.  Then I knew the severity of the emergency.  This was not a climatic scene from a Hollywood blockbuster movie.  This was unbelievably REAL: All the smoke and the flames; people jumping out of the windows; the iconic Twin Towers becoming a huge pile of rubble while firefighters, paramedics and police tried to save victims.  It was complete and total chaos.  My heart swelled with sadness and fear. What caused this to happen?

When I later found out the attacks were planned by Bin Laden and Al Qaeda terrorists, I discounted Christ's words "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." I didn't think they applied in this horrific situation. I'm sure other Americans thought the same way, too.....

Revenge is indeed the answer.  How dare these terrorists attack us!  We need to get these extremists to pay the piper!  If they kill us we will kill them.  Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.  We will never allow this to happen to our beautiful country again! 

How can we love terrorists who killed over 2,000 innocent Americans?  How can we do good toward a sect of extremists who desire to kill in the name of God?  Our country was viciously attacked, and we needed to prepare for a counterattack.  No way could we sit around on our laurels and not take action. No need to bless and pray for our enemies who violently mistreated us. They don't deserve blessings.....Or do they?

Let's just say it's easier to get angry, plotting our revenge and destroying our enemy than to love.   What is unique to Christianity is this idea of loving our enemies even if they kill out of jealousy and envy; kill out of spite; kill as a way to promote themselves and their agendas.  We don't love the action but we can still love the person as a creation of God.  Remember God allows evil in the world to strengthen our faith and our reliance on Him.  We learn huge lessons from tragedy and death.  We learn to better prepare ourselves for the future.

What I found so wonderful about the 9/11 attack was how the country came together. We saw a surge in religious service attendance, including Mass.  We saw people donating money and volunteering in the relief effort.  How interesting in a time of tragedy people pay more attention to those around them:  people they love as well as people they may not.  We are reminded how we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  Tragedy unifies us because we can all relate to the same situation or circumstances. Once the emergency goes away so does that brief unity.  Life turns to normal.  However, we always remember those horrific circumstances as if they happened yesterday.

Pray for the souls of the victims and their families.  Pray for an end to the needless violence that overwhelms our world.  Remain strong and unified as a nation under God!

-J.

Around the World in Seven Days

Saturday of the Twenty-Second Week in Ordinary Time

Penang, Malaysia - October 2012

(Click Here for Readings)

 We are fools on Christ’s account, but you are wise in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are poorly clad and roughly treated,  we wander about homeless and we toil, working with our own hands. When ridiculed, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we respond gently. We have become like the world’s rubbish, the scum of all, to this very moment.

Travel Overseas  In October 2012, my boss asked me to travel to Malaysia on company business. I was totally psyched, ready to make my debut on the other side of the world!  I quickly booked my flight and coordinated the hotel stay.   I felt like Saint Paul embarking on a journey to a foreign land not sure what to expect.  Shortly before the trip, I spoke with a friend who traveled to Malaysia years earlier.  He gave me very useful advice:  Pack extra rolls of Charmin.  You never know the state of a local bathroom.  Oh, the little things we take for granted in America...

Flying to Malaysia took 28 hours with long layovers in New York City, Vancouver, and  Hong Kong. I sat in the plane for about 18 hours straight watching hours and hours of movies.  My feet and legs swelled from the cabin pressure. I always have trouble sleeping on a plane so I felt like I was in a chronic dreamlike state, groggy and exhausted.  Jet lag settled in fairly quick.

On the last stretch of the flight I thought to myself, "Only two more hours and we will touch down on Penang Island. Thank-you, Jesus, for keeping me safe through this very long flight.  The home stretch has arrived!" I remember sitting in my seat listening to my earphones when a wave of nausea hit me.  I felt dizzy and clammy all over.  I got up to go to the toilet when I fell to the ground, suffering symptoms of dehydration.  The flight attendants quickly came to my aid.  They moved me to a First Class seat giving me Evian bottled water, a cool towel to wrap around my neck, and a blanket to cozy up in. I felt better almost immediately. When the plane landed, I was the first one escorted off the plane in a wheel chair.  I was pushed through customs ahead of the other passengers without any major hassles. People stared at me throughout the airport even after getting out of the wheelchair.  I figured a petite blonde woman from America was quite an unusual sight.

I trusted God's eyes watching over me. I was weak with fatigue yet strong with enduring faith.  I was hungry and thirsty yet cared for along the way.  I wandered into a foreign land yet blessed by the opportunity.  I felt like the world's rubbish yet thankful to make it around the world safely.  

Foolish and Wise  I  rather foolishly imagined my company-preferred hotel sat next to a sandy white beach.  Unfortunately, I stayed in the industrial area surrounded by rundown buildings with sagging roofs, peeling paint, and laundry hanging out of windows. Major companies like Dell, Continental Tires, and Hitachi housed manufacturing facilities. Riding to and from our distributor's warehouse, on the left side of the road no less, was a harrowing experience.  I'm not used to roundabouts or mopeds while weaving around orange hazard cones and construction debris. My seat belt didn't work, so it meant a bumpy ride most mornings and afternoons. At night I laid wide-awake listening to wild dogs barking or a local band playing bongo music.

Each day, on our way to the warehouse, we passed by a Catholic Church.  I was surprised to see one since the majority of Malaysian citizens are Muslim.  I remember the Church wasn't colorfully decorated like the area mosques. A simple sign proclaiming the start of the "Year of Faith" displayed in the front.  With Jesus present in the tabernacle, I said a silent "Our Father" every time we drove by.  How comforting to know I was not alone.  The Holy Spirit continued to guide and protect me along this journey.

I remember my Muslim companions asked me a little about Catholicism.  They never met anyone Catholic before.  It was nice to share with them a little about my faith. Likewise, they described some of their religious customs.

Even with jet-lag, lack of sleep, and bad food to eat,  I was happy to visit Malaysia.  I traveled around the world and back in literally 7 days.  I met so many interesting people along the way.  I'm glad I didn't wine and dine in luxury but got dirty and gritty with the working class.  This just made me appreciate my blessings even more. I gained incredible wisdom experiencing a culture so different from my own.

World's rubbish and scum   Saint Paul and the Apostles endured ridicule and condemnation throughout their ministry. Yet, they didn't stop preaching the faith.  When persecuted they blessed.  When slandered, they responded kindly.  They willingly died for the Faith.  After my travel to Malaysia, I became more respectful of cultures different from mine.  I didn't see the Malaysians, Indians, and Chinese living on the island as the world's rubbish and scum.  I saw them as children of God with the same fears, burdens, and struggles all of us experience.  Their skin may be a different color and language foreign to the ears, but they are still human beings capable and worthy of love.  I don't see myself superior just because I'm an American.  I see myself as one woman living in a global melting pot; a melting pot of cultures brilliantly created by God.

-J.

Passwords & the Pearly Gates

Thursday of the Twenty-Second Week in Ordinary Time

(Click Here for Readings)

 

Brothers and sisters: Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you considers himself wise in this age, let him become a fool, so as to become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in the eyes of God, for it is written: God catches the wise in their own ruses......

I was in the shower the other night, thinking of a topic for a blog post.  Nothing like hot steaming water and fragrant smelling suds to inspire ideas.  The Gospel readings for the past couple of weeks have been way too familiar, so it's been difficult to take a fresh new approach.

Many times I get blog ideas from a single word. For some reason the word password came to mind.  Like most people, I keep up with way too many passwords on a daily basis.  Passwords are required for my work computer, home laptop, smartphone, iPad, and banking/credit card websites.  Of course, I can't forget all of my social media accounts - Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Blogger etc.  Hmmm...I feel a headache coming on and it has the word password overload written all over it!

What if we needed to remember a password in order to get into the pearly gates of heaven?  I think most of us would stand in front of Saint Peter dumbstruck with a look of terror.  We made it this far; we did everything according to God's will; now we need to remember the password?!  Uh oh.....No chance to select the "Forget password?" option from heaven's reservation kiosk!  No secret questions will magically appear verifying our identity.  Certainly we won't be able to simply call heaven's 1-800 number in order to check our account information!  We either made it into heaven or we didn't.  We either lived a good life or a bad one.  If we think about it closely, there's really no need for a password.  Passwords are required to keep sensitive information safe and secure.  We are already safe and secure if (and when) we make it through heaven's gates.  Once those doors are opened to us, all of what was once earthly becomes N/A (Not-Applicable).

We can make all the excuses in the world as to why God isn't important.  We can foolishly believe that life on earth is all about fun and games.  Do whatever we want, when we want and as we want. The student who doesn't turn in his homework makes the excuse that he forgot his user name and password.  When it comes to our Catholic Christian faith, we shouldn't make a similar excuse like "Jesus, I forgot you exist and that the #LoveYourEnemy is actually a valid password!"

Worldly wisdom is often made up me, myself, and I.  It's all about the ego.  We think we are hot stuff if we make a bunch of money, earned a couple of masters degrees and a PhD, and become incredibly successful.  God doesn't really care about any of this.  In his eyes, it's all foolishness.  What really matters is how a person treats others and how well he follows God's will.

The wise person knows his limitations.  He sees that he makes stupid mistakes throughout life.  In his imperfection, he must seek out guidance from the Lord.  Merge his own personal will with God's will.  Let go of the idea that material possessions on earth will somehow give him instant access into the pearly gates of heaven.  Nothing on earth will exist the same in heaven.

Please do not deceive yourself into thinking you have everything under control.  Hand over some control to God and allow him to enrich your life.  Look forward to entering the pearly gates of heaven without a password!

-J.