"Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one." (Montserrat Retreat Morning Prayer)
Journal Entry: (In my private room) Friday, September 19, 2014 6:15 am CST
I woke up with a start, experiencing another one of my unusual dreams. (I've had so many of them lately!!) This time mom and her friend set me up with a handsome man. After a couple of telephone calls, we go out on a date. He sends me a huge bouquet of white flowers, but they arrive with a few blooms dead already.
In my dream, the date with this man was like an orgy with drugs and booze. Animals were being genetically re-engineered into grotesque hybrids. I was asked to dance with other women and perform sex acts and strange rituals in front of this man. I refused such debauchery so the man leaves. His home is trashed. The rest of the dream I'm trying to convince my mom he's really a "nice guy." (What??...) I woke up remembering I'm here at Montserrat safe with the Lord! It was only a dream and not real. But, I'm still disturbed by it.
Why have my dreams been so intense lately? Is the Lord trying to tell me something like Joseph in his dreams? I met a lady at dinner last night who is experiencing a lot of pain. The doctors cannot give a diagnose. She is very scared at what the future holds. Just a few months ago she dreamed of the Devil in his classic red costume. It was so real to her that it only added to her fear. She planned to speak to one of the priests about her circumstances.
Personally, I've never dreamed of the devil. However, I've dreamed of devilish-like people such as the handsome dark-haired man during last night's restless sleep. I find it consoling I didn't go along with the orgy, but still disturbed something so disgusting emerged from my subsconscious. I'm sure Freud would have loved to psychoanalyze me....
A Prayer - Open My Eyes, Dear Lord!
Original Poem #1 "I put my trust in you, Lord"
I put my trust in you, Lord.
You are my steward and guide.
I don't have to fear what happens;
With you by my side.
Sometimes I ignore you;
I'm wrapped in my own thoughts.
Why do I do this, Lord?
I don't want everlasting drought.
An arid place of thirst;
A foreign place of hunger;
A wide place of struggle;
An ocean scent of thunder.
I put my trust in you, Lord.
Please be there for me!
Original Poem #2 - Care for One Another
Well grounded in the Spirit;
Brings peace to the Soul.
Prayer to Jesus, the Shepherd;
Keeps us intimately whole.
We divide ourselves in anger;
Bicker amongst in strife;
Claim pride and vanity;
Even taking a life!
A precious life so weak;
Needing guidance and help;
Instead we throw it away;
Like something used and spelt.
Care for one another.
Love one another.
Be there for one another.
Never fail one another;
With empty promises, lies, and deceit.
Journal Entry: (Sitting by the Lake) 7:30 am
Lord, your love basks in my heart like a rising sun with a warmth and a touch. I feel your presence encompassing me. You are speaking and I'm listening. I feel the wind whispering on my neck. The cool morning air wraps me in an embrace. The crickets chirp away unaware of humans present while the water on the lake glides smoothly in westernly ripples. I love the silence and the smell of the damp moss. The morning dew lays a glistening film over the blades of grass. A seagull flies by with a loud "Gak!" The wind visits me once again: Is it you, Lord, wrapping your arms around me ever so gently? How do you wish for me to better serve you? My ears and heart still patiently listen.
I love you with all my heart, mind, and strength. Thank-you for the beauty of nature. The cacophony of birds and insects, while in human silence, reminds me of your every day presence on earth. I'm so thankful for everything, Dear Jesus!
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