Rest in Peace

Fourth Sunday of Advent

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He shall stand firm and shepherd his flock by the strength of the Lord, his God; and shall remain, for his greatness shall reach to the ends of the earth; he shall be peace.

I write this meditation with a very heavy heart.  Yesterday morning, I witnessed an horrific accident that still leaves me raw and achy inside; my heart both bleeding and weeping with sadness. Why did such an awful thing have to happen during the Holiday season?  Here I should be celebrating the birth of Jesus; instead, I mourn the sudden death of my beloved pet.

Saturday morning I took my precious dachshund, Cayenne, to the vet for an exam and yearly shots.  She jumped out of the car before I had a chance to get her leash on, running to a grassy area in front of the vet clinic.  She looked at me with those big brown eyes and grey face as if to say: "Mommy! I'm free!  Let's play a game of Catch me if you Can!"  My sweet little girl loved to play chase where she'd run along the sidewalk and then roll over for a belly rub.  I'd be out of breathe by the time I caught up with her.

This fateful morning Cayenne walked a little too far out into the street. As she stood staring at me, a car hit her throwing her body under its rear wheels.  I screamed in terror as I rushed onto the street.  The accident occurred only a few feet from the vet clinic, so I quickly picked up her body and brought her inside.   I remember screaming and crying in agony.  My God! I cannot believe this is happening! Please do not allow my dog to die!  It's not her time yet...please. Nooo.....!  Yet, deep in my heart I knew her injuries were very serious.  She did not move even though her heart still beat and her eyes remained open.  No cries or whining.  Cayenne had very distinctive vocal sounds, yet I heard nothing.  

The veternarian and staff did everything they could to save Cayenne but her lungs were impacted by the blunt force causing deep internal bleeding.  She was pronounced deceased 30 minutes later.  I went back into the examination room to say my final goodbyes.  It was so hard to see my beloved dog so lifeless; her friendly, loving and curious personality gone.

Thank God the lady in the car stopped.  She came into the clinic and just hugged me tightly saying how sorry she was.  Everything will be okay. Do not worry. Your dog will pull through!  I could not blame her for the accident but blamed myself instead.  If I had only put that leash on inside the car, which I always did religiously, I would have saved my dog's life.  Hindsight is twenty-twenty...However, I cannot control what God has in motion.  He felt it was time for my sweet dog to pass over the rainbow bridge.

 I believe God presents us with subtle signals about how our lives will change. We must pay very close attention because the signs are not always obvious or make sense until later on.  Last weekend when driving over to All Saints for Sunday mass, I witnessed a squirrel get hit by a car.   I remember thinking how surreal and sad. I see an unsettling connection.  Hmmmm....

My apartment is so quiet without my dog to snuggle up with me, steal my table food, or bark at the neighbors.   No more walks around the golf course or trips out to the country.  No more barking at squirrels and birds.  I will miss the joy and companionship my dog gave me for so many years.  She lived to be over 11 years old.  Her "unofficial" birthday happen to be on Friday.  I adopted her in December of 2009.

I realized this weekend just how short life is for all of us, including humans and animals.  We should cherish our friends and loved ones. Always be prepared.   We never know when the Lord may decide a special person or animal is ready for eternity.

I hope my precious dog is having fun in pet heaven running around free enjoying lots of food and treats.  Experts say that animals do not possess souls like humans do.  But, for my own personal comfort, I'd like to think everybody's pets will be reunited with their owners at the end of time.

Rest in peace, my dear Cayenne.  I miss you.  Mommy will always love you.....

-J.