Yes Means Yes, No Means No!

Saturday of the Tenth Week of Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 5:33-37

Jesus said to his disciples:"You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow..... Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’Anything more is from the Evil One.”


Jesus is basically saying to his disciples to own up to their word.  If they say they will do something, do it.  If they say they will not do something, don't do it.  Seems clear and simple, right?

Honor your Vow or Promise When we vow to something, we make a commitment to it.  It's wrong for us to simply break a vow because we're tired of the burden or the strain it puts on us.  So many marriages dissolve under the common excuse "irreconcilable differences." Often, people go into marriage thinking if things "don't work out" than they can simply file for divorce.  A "Yes until death do us part" becomes a "Well, maybe until I get tired of my husband or wife."  Worse yet those beautiful words morph into "Heck no, not until my death.  In fact, I plan to cheat on my spouse if he or she does't satisfy MY needs."

Can you imagine a priest who makes a vow of chastity, poverty and obedience all of the sudden deciding to break his promise to God and the Church?  Out of his own pride and vainglory, he thinks it's his right to sleep with a girlfriend on the side, steal money from the Church collection, and drink a little too much of the sacramental wine.  His "Yes, I give my life to the Lord" suddenly turns into "No, my appetite for women and drink is stronger than my love for God.  It's time to break my vows and do what everybody else does but secretly behind the locked door of the rectory......"

In our every day lives, when we promise to help out a neighbor in need, show up at work on a daily basis, or even attend a child's sports event, honoring that promise builds up our credibility and integrity. We must establish trustworthiness in our interactions with others.  As one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, being trustworthy  takes dedication, observation, self-control, organization, and empathy.

I admit there are times when I have said "Yes" to a volunteer effort and decided not to show up.  I just didn't feel like doing whatever I said I'd do.  Excuses have ranged from oversleeping to not feeling well to "I am too busy."  I always feel terribly guilty for not honoring my word.  I'm sure others experience the same thing.  Laziness has a horrible way of creeping up when you're asked to do something but really don't want to do it!

Yes Means Yes, No Means No!  When I first read today's gospel reading,  sexual assault and rape came to mind.  There's always been an old saying that if a woman says "No" to sex than she really means "Yes."  This is particularly scary because many times women in compromising situations where drugs and alcohol are involved cannot think rationally and clearly.  Men will easily take advantage of women.

Being raped has always been my worst nightmare and fear!  This is why I'm very careful not to place myself in dangerous situations where I may be taken advantage of. Situations where my "No" is not forceful enough.  Situations where the answer is always "Yes" even if the question was never asked.

More and more women across the globe are being sold to the sex trade, routinely beaten and raped, sodomized, and sexually assaulted for just being a woman!  These women have no say and no rights.  It doesn't matter if they say Yes or No, heinous crimes will continue against them.

One of my daily prayers is for an increase in women's empowerment and a decrease in sexual assaults and rapes around the world.  My heart aches with sadness when I read or hear about a woman brutally assaulted for standing up for her freedom, her rights, and her opinions.

Yes always means yes!  No always means no!  Jesus teaches this to his disciples, reminding us that it is a part of following his Way, Truth, and Life.  When we don't honor our word, we show a lack of trustworthiness.  From now on, let us do the right thing.  Don't allow Satan to confuse us into thinking No means Yes.  No means No!

-J.