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Gospel of Matthew 18:15-20
Jesus said to his
disciples: “If your brother
sins against you, go and tell him his
fault between you and him alone. If he listens to
you, you have won over your brother."
My sophomore year in college I worked as a Resident Advisor (RA) for a freshman all-women's dorm. Shortly after the Fall semester began, I received noise complaints. Residents were irritated by the loud music blaring out of one of the dorm rooms all hours of the night. I knew it was time to have a chat with the young woman inhabiting the room, letting her know she was violating noise policy. I remember how anxious I felt preparing for the conversation. Would the girl curse me out? Would she hate me forever for being a lousy RA? Would my words be effective in getting her to stop playing her music too loud? Fortunately, everything went fine. She took the admonishing well. In fact, I never heard a complaint about noise again.
At times it's necessary to tell people that what they are doing isn't up to snuff. It can be a challenge, especially if the person is a close friend or a fellow co-worker. Most managers will say it isn't much fun reprimanding an employee who is chronically late or performs poor work. Teachers probably don't enjoy sending their students to detention for horseplay in the classroom. Even a wife may find it difficult to tell her husband that he needs to help more around the house or spend more time with the kids.
I think many of us fear the other person's negative reaction if we criticize him. I'm speaking of constructive criticism, talking to another person as a way of helping him. When we have a problem with someone, it's so important to first talk peacefully. Holding it all in and then later blowing up at them doesn't work. Spreading about gossip and endless complaints about a person isn't effective either. Sometimes a man or woman may not be even aware of an issue about them.
When I experience difficulty with another individual, I like to bring it up the Lord. Pray to him, asking him for guidance. Many times simply learning to forgive the person who has been offensive helps me out.
Don't be afraid to correct someone's misbehavior in a calm and compassionate way. He or she may appreciate the feedback. Wouldn't it be great if we could all win over our brothers and sisters?
-J.
My sophomore year in college I worked as a Resident Advisor (RA) for a freshman all-women's dorm. Shortly after the Fall semester began, I received noise complaints. Residents were irritated by the loud music blaring out of one of the dorm rooms all hours of the night. I knew it was time to have a chat with the young woman inhabiting the room, letting her know she was violating noise policy. I remember how anxious I felt preparing for the conversation. Would the girl curse me out? Would she hate me forever for being a lousy RA? Would my words be effective in getting her to stop playing her music too loud? Fortunately, everything went fine. She took the admonishing well. In fact, I never heard a complaint about noise again.
At times it's necessary to tell people that what they are doing isn't up to snuff. It can be a challenge, especially if the person is a close friend or a fellow co-worker. Most managers will say it isn't much fun reprimanding an employee who is chronically late or performs poor work. Teachers probably don't enjoy sending their students to detention for horseplay in the classroom. Even a wife may find it difficult to tell her husband that he needs to help more around the house or spend more time with the kids.
I think many of us fear the other person's negative reaction if we criticize him. I'm speaking of constructive criticism, talking to another person as a way of helping him. When we have a problem with someone, it's so important to first talk peacefully. Holding it all in and then later blowing up at them doesn't work. Spreading about gossip and endless complaints about a person isn't effective either. Sometimes a man or woman may not be even aware of an issue about them.
When I experience difficulty with another individual, I like to bring it up the Lord. Pray to him, asking him for guidance. Many times simply learning to forgive the person who has been offensive helps me out.
Don't be afraid to correct someone's misbehavior in a calm and compassionate way. He or she may appreciate the feedback. Wouldn't it be great if we could all win over our brothers and sisters?
-J.
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