One Sunday morning I arrived at 7:30 am Mass to hear the devastating news that one our ushers committed suicide. A parishioner found his body inside his home with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. We were in total shock. This gentleman attended mass every Sunday. He dressed well and always greeted people with a smile. He didn't look like he was in pain or show signs of mental illness. We didn't think anything of it when he turned in his church keys the weekend before. He simply stated he wouldn't be around much longer. People stop volunteering for one reason or another. We just thought this was the case. We had no idea he planned to kill himself.
Suicide is an uncomfortable word. It's hard to say without feeling a lump in the throat. It's difficult to hear about, especially if it's someone we love who decided to take his own life. It's impossible to fully understand why anyone could decide death is the answer to problems.
Suicide is a selfish act in itself. We hear about people who kill themselves commit a grave mortal sin and they are destined for Hell automatically. But, is this really true? Doesn't God know the difference between suicide due to depression vs. suicide as a form of mass destruction?
Teenagers kill themselves because they can no longer endure bullying. The suicide bomber frequently makes news headlines in a terrorist attack, killing himself as an disturbing act of God. Then, there is the celebrity, like Robin Williams, wealthy and talented who no longer can stand the pressure of stardom. Depression drove him to hang himself.
Here is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about suicide:
2281 Suicide contradicts the natural inclination
of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary
to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it
unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human
societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love
for the living God. (2212)
282 If suicide is committed with the intention
of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of
scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law. (1735)
Grave psychological
disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can
diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.
2283 We should not despair of the eternal
salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him
alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church
prays for persons who have taken their own lives. (1037)
Those who have committed suicide do have a chance at repentance! They are not doomed to suffer in the fires of hell. I've known a few people, including a distant relative, who killed themselves. I always hoped and prayed they'd be forgiven by God.
So many times people lose the will to live because of depression. Their lives center around darkness. They don't understand that God has give them such a beautiful gift. All they see is pain, anger, and hurt. Personally, I've struggled with suicidal thoughts. It's very scary when the mind goes into the dark abyss where all the good things in life suddenly appear bad. What I've discovered that the best way to get my mind off of death is to pray to God. Refocus my thoughts on his love and mercy. Make a point of getting busy living! Exercise, socialize, and intellectualize. Writing down my thoughts on this blog helps wonders, too.
Are you feeling suicidal? Don't give up! There are so many people willing to help with those thoughts that don't seem to go away quite easily. Talk with a priest, a trusted friend, or a counselor. Get on medication if needed. Always remember God loves you and wants you to be healthy spiritually, physically and emotionally.
-J.
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