Spiritual Snippet -- Faith Burnout

I never thought I'd come to a point in my spiritual life when I'd experience faith burnout.   It sounds strange....  How can I become worn out from practicing the Catholic faith?  How can I question what faith truly means?  How can I one day be perfectly content with attending mass, praying the rosary, reading spiritual works, and engaging in volunteer activities but the next want to stop everything and move on to something else?

Just like working at a  job, our faith can grow stale and lifeless.  It appears like our prayers are never answered.  We attend mass each Sunday and see the same people with the same unending problems and annoyances.  During the liturgy, memorized prayers and habitual kneeling make it easy for our minds to drift to thoughts other than God.  We  think about our "To Do Lists" without listening to one word of the priest's homily! After we consume the Eucharist, we want to sneak out of Church as quickly as possible.  No time for the closing prayers or final hymn.  We've completed our Sunday obligation, and now it's time to move on with our lives.

When it comes to the Church's unwavering position against contraception, abortion, and gay marriage, we may begin to question if we are in the right religion at all!  Many of our Protestant brothers and sisters appear to be more accepting of societal trends whereas the Church won't budge one inch in its teachings.  The world is rapidly changing all around us; yet, the church appears to be decades behind.  It becomes frustrating, even "burnout inducing", to see very little signs of adaptability.  The Church doesn't mind being Arch Enemy #1 among people who disagree with her teachings.  The constant tug of war between what Christ desires and what Society prefers is exhausting!

We have to be careful when a bad case of faith burnout arises.  We may decide to quit going to Mass for just a few weeks.  We may decide to stop praying just for a few more weeks.  We may even consider visiting the non-denominational church a friend attends with the hopes that we may feel more welcomed and loved.  No more need for confession because we no longer have to feel guilty for sex out of marriage or contraception.  No more rigid "Catholic" rules to follow that only keeps us habitually stressed out and criticized by others who don't "think" the same way the Catholic Church thinks.

I've battled burnout in terms of religion for the past few months.  I decided to visit an Episcopalian Church with the idea that it's as close to Catholicism as one can get.  I'd check it out to see if it's a right fit for me.  Then I thought about it further.... I wouldn't be able to take the Eucharist in the Episcopalian Church.  What about Mary and the rosary?  Those are so special to me; however, none of the Protestant faiths take it as seriously.  It looked like the uptown Episcopalian Church would be fun with tons of social activities and a demographic of young people my age.  Certainly families with 4,5 + kids wouldn't be the norm and the elderly wouldn't be the majority in attendance.  Boy, was I thinking totally off-kilter......

The Catholic Church is where I'm supposed to be!  Just because I'm a little burnout with the same liturgy, the same people, and the same volunteer activities doesn't mean I should just quit Catholicism completely.  I need to pray to our Lord for the strength to pull me out of this blahness, seeing  the faith from a new perspective.  I've spent 16 years of my life devoted to Catholicism.  I try to imagine myself anything but Catholic and just can't do it.

I think the Devil loves to tempt us away from faith.  He wants boredom and annoyance to take over our minds and hearts so we will quit going to Church.  Jump on the modern society bandwagon where everything goes.  Not so fast!  In times of faith burnout, we must creatively find ways to get through it.  Attend a retreat.  Volunteer for a new ministry.  Pray a Holy Hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  Read scriptures on faith in general. I find every time I pray the rosary, holding those beautiful rosary beads in my hand, I'm drawn back into the arms of Christ.  The thoughts of leaving the Catholic Church vanish.

We all experience "faith burnout" in one way or another.  Through fervent prayer it can be overcome. Don't give up on the Catholic Church!

-J.

Share Your Master's Joy

Saturday of the Twenty-First Week in Ordinary Time

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Jesus told his disciples this parable:“A man going on a journey called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one– to each according to his ability...."

In my high school Physics class, a major part of our grade included completing an egg drop assignment.  The premise involved designing a protective barrier between an egg and the ground so when dropped from a two story roof the egg remained intact.  We were given a few weeks to create a suitable design fulfilling dimension and size requirements.  A prize went to the successful student who's egg didn't break.  I remember driving over to Michaels craft store to look for materials.  I decided on a fairly simple design:  Wrap the egg inside a round Styrofoam container used for fake flowers. The day of the egg drop I was terribly nervous.  It was my senior year and my top-ten GPA meant everything.  I simply could not afford a bad grade in Physics because of a broken egg.

What a cold February morning when our Physics class walked up to the school's roof to start the egg drop challenge.  I remember seeing splat after splat.  Everybody's egg broke.  When it came my turn, I carefully dropped my Styrofoam ball from the roof.  After the egg fell we inspected it  to find not one crack!  In fact, my egg was the only one in the class that didn't break.  I won a movie gift certificate as the prize.  Everybody was surprised, including the teacher, that a simple Styrofoam ball was insulating enough to protect the egg.

Just think:  Simply trusting in Jesus and following his Way, Truth and Life protects our souls from breakage.  The Lord acts as a protective shell around our fragile and vulnerable hearts.  We can entrust our darkest secrets, intimate desires, and worries with Him.  He will not allow us to completely crack and fall apart.  In fact, God blesses us with gifts each and every day.  It's up to us to use them wisely.

Five, Two, One....According to Ability  Instead of three, two, one like a typical countdown  it's five, two, one;  the number of talents the Master gives to his servants.  I find it interesting  the wicked servant is only given the one talent according to his ability. The Master must have not expected a whole lot from him to begin with he only received  the one talent. Why does the master get so upset then? Why bother giving the third servant any talents?

 The Master of the talents desires to entrust his possessions with all of his servants equally and according to their individual abilities.  He hoped his servants would listen to his request, protecting and properly investing the talents.  However, the wicked servant allowed fear to take over. Burying his one solid gift  is like burying his head in the sand.  He doesn't have to think about it or realize it's value.  He can simply walk away - out of sight and out of mind.  It's not his money anyway.  Why take the risk of possibly upsetting the demanding Master if he loses the one talent?  It's easier just to bury it away than to trade it up for something more profitable.

God does not want us to bury our gifts in the sand!  He wants us to use them to the fullest, evangelizing and spreading the good news . Desire to share in His eternal joy!

Share Your Master's Joy  We may not realize this, but God gives us gifts on a daily basis.  They may appear small and insubstantial; however, all we need to do is take the time to notice and cherish them.  For me, a smile is one such beautiful gift.  I think of the smile of a child playing with a toy, the smile of someone laughing, or the smile when a friend greets another friend.  When I'm having a rough day, a smile brings warmth back into my heart.  When I'm feel down, a smile brings happiness back to mind.  Some people are blessed with a positive attitude and a habitual smile that's infectious!  God sends such persons to continuously spread joy to others. Joy is what makes life worth living. Sharing our joy keeps fear at bay and helps us recognize our gifts and talents, using them for the benefit of all of God's Kingdom.

-J.

Blind Guides & the Friendly Skies

Tuesday of the Twenty First Week in Ordinary Time

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“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity.
But these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel!"

Yesterday, my return flight from Chicago back to Dallas was scheduled to depart at 2:30 pm. Due to "pending" bad weather, we ended up grounded. We taxied around the airport for over two hours.  Stopping and starting, even changing directions on the runway, didn't help us get to our destination.  Not one drop of rain or one flash of lightning during the time period.   Eventually we ran out of fuel, taxiing back to the gate. After waiting around for a new flight crew, we finally took off around 6:30 pm.   I didn't make it home until nearly 11:30 pm.  Nothing worse than wasting time at an airport....

Let's just say I thought of the people working for American Airlines as blind guides, hauling us around like camels. At least camels can store water in their humps.  I was dying of thirst.  Oh, how'd I'd enjoy a nice cup of water if a flight attendant offered it to us. No such luck.  Keep that seat belt fastened and secure at all times even while coasting around and around on the tarmac merry-go-round.   

I miss the days when air travel was a pleasant, luxurious experience.  We didn't have to worry about 3 oz liquids on carry-ons, baggage fees, or rude flight attendants.  Flying was a privilege, and not everybody could afford it. People were required to wear their Sunday best while flying.

The Pharisees and scribes basically went around in hypocritical fashion, flaunting their wealth and power by tithing herbs and spices.  Yet, they neglected the important things about the law such as faithfulness, non-judgment, and mercy toward others.  I think of the CEO of major companies, such American, advertising a "new" way to fly; big fancy new airplanes with seats that lay all the way back along with iPad access and even a glass of champagne.  Most of us can never afford such luxury, but of course the service is catered more toward  the business travelers and those with the big wallets.  

Somehow the skies don't seem so friendly anymore.  Travel is more of a pain than a convenience.  Blind leading the blind through endless cancellations and delays. 

 I wonder what the common every day person thought of the privileged Pharisee and scribe.  Did they think of them as hypocrites just as much as Jesus and his disciples?  Were they like the modern CEO's of major corporate giants making millions of dollars "selling" a flawed product to consumers?  A product that is very much needed (like air travel) but supplied to us in an uncomfortable and often annoying manner?

Blind guides and friendly skies...I think if we want friendly skies in terms of our Catholic faith we need to open our eyes and notice what's happening around us.  Make an effort to eliminate the hypocrisy within our own actions.  Don't announce something is "new and better" when it's still old and worn.  Fix it and make it exceptional for the Kingdom of God.

-J.

A New Perspective

This weekend I've been visiting my girlfriend in Chicago.  I absolutely love the city with its awesome food, cocktails, museums, and night life.  For years I've wanted to move here.  Certainly Chi Town is wonderful in the summertime but winter is another story!

This mini trip away from home has allowed me to view my life from a new perspective.  I've realized I need to make some pretty big changes in order to live a happier and more vibrant life.  Certainly Christ is part of this transition.  If not, changes I make may not be right for me.

First and foremost, I must clean out the garbage that makes me reek of anxiety and worry; stink of hate and resentment; and smell of inaction.  Certain people who do nothing but bring about a sense of worthlessness should get the boot.  I'm only growing older.  I don't have time wasting away my life in relationships which leave me bitter and sour.

Secondly, I absolutely must stop comparing myself to others.  This involves understanding the unique gifts God has blessed me with and how I can use them to the best of my abilities.  When I compare myself to someone younger, someone wealthier, or someone more educated I stay in a depressive funk.  It's wasted energy that should be used to enrich my own life.  Nobody else exactly like me exists on earth. 

Thirdly, I need to get busy living.  I'm at my best when my day is filled with productive activity.  When I wallow in self-pity, and worry about everything going wrong in my life, I miss out on what is going right.  

There's nothing better than getting away from the daily grind.  I find I think much more clearly when I'm in relaxed vacation mode.  Something about staying in a different city, breathing the air, and eating the food is therapeutic.  At least for a few days, I can forget about annoying work or stuff I must take care of around the house.  

Gotta love vacation!

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Thoughts on Suicide

One Sunday morning I arrived at 7:30 am Mass to hear the devastating news that one our ushers committed suicide.  A parishioner found his body inside his home with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.  We were in total shock.  This gentleman attended mass every Sunday.  He dressed well and always greeted people with a smile.  He didn't look like he was in pain or show signs of mental illness.   We didn't think anything of it when he turned in his church keys the weekend before.  He simply stated he wouldn't be around much longer.  People stop volunteering for one reason or another. We just thought this was the case.  We had no idea he planned to kill himself.

Suicide is an uncomfortable word.  It's hard to say without feeling a lump in the throat.  It's difficult to hear about, especially if it's someone we love who decided to take his own life.  It's impossible to fully understand why anyone could decide death is the answer to problems.

Suicide is a selfish act in itself.   We hear about people who kill themselves commit a grave mortal sin and they are destined for Hell automatically.  But, is this really true?  Doesn't God know the difference between suicide due to depression vs. suicide as a form of mass destruction?

Teenagers kill themselves because they can no longer endure bullying. The suicide bomber frequently makes news headlines in a terrorist attack, killing himself as an disturbing act of God.  Then, there is the celebrity, like Robin Williams, wealthy and talented who no longer can stand the pressure of stardom. Depression drove him to hang himself.

Here is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about suicide:

2281    Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. (2212)

282    If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law. (1735)

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

2283    We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives. (1037)

Those who have committed suicide do have a chance at repentance!  They are not doomed to suffer in the fires of hell.  I've known a few people, including a distant relative, who killed themselves.  I always hoped and prayed they'd be forgiven by God. 

 So many times people lose the will to live because of depression.  Their lives center around darkness. They don't understand that God has give them such a beautiful gift.  All they see is pain, anger, and hurt.  Personally, I've struggled with suicidal thoughts.  It's very scary when the mind goes into the dark abyss where all the good things in life suddenly appear bad.  What I've discovered that the best way to get my mind off of death is to pray to God.  Refocus my thoughts on his love and mercy.  Make a point of getting busy living!  Exercise, socialize, and intellectualize.  Writing down my thoughts on this blog helps wonders, too.  

Are you feeling suicidal?  Don't give up!  There are so many people willing to help with those thoughts that don't seem to go away quite easily.  Talk with a priest, a trusted friend, or a counselor.  Get on medication if needed.  Always remember God loves you and wants you to be healthy spiritually, physically and emotionally.

-J.

Nothing is Impossible With God

Tuesday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 19:23-30

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said,“Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said,

“For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.”

Uh-Oh! As I left confession last Thursday evening, I checked my cell phone.  Three missed calls and two voicemails!  Although my phone was on silent, I noticed another call coming through from my mother.  I answered  "Hello?"  Mom's voice sounded worried: "Jennifer - Where are you?  I keep getting calls from your alarm company saying the security alarm is going off at the house!"  Uh Oh....

I knew exactly what triggered the alarm:  My dog!  I left her out of her kennel, giving her full reign of the house.  Silly me forgot to deactivate the alarm.  Cayenne, my lovable dachshund, triggers the motion detector when she walks into the living room.  I felt guilty leaving my doggy home alone!  According to a voicemail left by the monitoring service, the alarm must have been sounding for nearly 45 minutes.  I was still a 35 minute drive back to the house!

I got in my car and drove as quickly as I could. A few minutes down the road my fuel light came on. Ah great! I'm almost out of gas. I don't have time to stop.  I need to get to my little pooch.  She's probably terrified by fright.  She hates loud sounds!

I admit I drove a little above the speed limit trying to get home pronto. Of course, as Murphy's Law always works, I hit every red light along the way!  Fortunately, I arrived home safely without running out of gas.  I listened for sounds of a screeching alarm.  Total silence.  I opened the backdoor and found my dog waiting for me, jumping up and down, wagging her tail, as if nothing ever happened.  I checked out the alarm keypad noticing flashing red lights signaling it went off.  All I figure is the alarm company must have turned off the alarm from their end.  Thank the Lord because it saved me a lot of headache dealing with the Police Department.  They issue residents citations for false alarms.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief!!

Nothing is impossible with God.  The Lord constantly watches over us. He doesn't give us more than we can handle at a time.  It may seem like we are up against the most impossible circumstances in the world.  We're stressed, tired, and lifeless.  We no longer know if we can deal with all of the dog poo thrown at us.  Keep faith and hope alive.  Like I've written many times before, life changes.  Circumstances change.  Our crosses now won't be the exact same crosses 5 years from now.

 Sometimes in a state of emergency we imagine the worse.  We rush to the rescue just to find out everything is essentially okay.  However, we never know when a false alarm turns into something more serious.  Crises do, and will happen, in our lives.  We have to always be prepared.  Act smart and be safe.  I find the greatest preparation for the unexpected "stuff" that happens in life is to keep close to Jesus.  Pray, meditate, worship, and dine with Him.  Gather up as much spiritual strength as possible so when that "emergency" happens I am prepared, ready to tackle it.  Those times I've distance myself from God, not taking my prayer life seriously, is when I normally don't handle unpleasant situations as well as I should.

Be like the mighty little fire ant in today's mediation artwork.  Be on fire for Christ!  Power up with his Word made flesh!  Form a close connection with Our Lord so that nothing is ever impossible with his guidance.

-J.

  

How Great is Your Faith?

Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 15:21-28

He said in reply,“It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters. Then Jesus said to her in reply,“O woman, great is your faith!

Whenever I read this scripture passage, I recoil inside thinking how offensive our Lord acts toward the poor Canaanite woman. The behavior is shocking because normally Jesus is so kind toward others, especially those suffering.  In this case, Jesus and his disciples know the woman is not Jewish.  She comes from a group of people not chosen by God.  So, why should they help heal her daughter?  She's not one of them. She doesn't believe what they believe.  

The Canaanite woman persists.  She doesn't back down or go away so easily even after being called a dog.  She's willing to take even the smallest ounce of scraps from the Master in order to save her child.  Her faith is so strong that Jesus can't simply push her away.  He eventually heals her daughter.

Sometimes we pray to God asking him to fulfill our own personal needs, even demanding situations to turn out a specific way.  Maybe we want a new job with a higher salary working at a prestigious company.  Maybe we want God to heal our loved one from a crippling disease.  Maybe we want the annoying neighbor next door to move away for good.  When our petitions are not answered the way we like, we become disillusioned.  We think God doesn't listen to us.  He must have forgotten all about us as he helps others give them what they want.  In bad circumstances, we decide to turn away from God.  Stop going to church.  Stop praying.  Turn to secularism or even atheism as a cure all.  Who needs an invisible God who never answers us?

On the contrary, God does listen to our prayers and petitions.  He knows us better than anyone.  He knows what we truly need versus what we want superficially.  The answers we seek may lie in interactions with people we despise or in a job we don't particularly like.  It may feel like we are stuck in a dead-end situation, but take heart that things will change!  They never stay the same.  We simply can't just pray to God asking for him to help us but then take no action on our own.

Like the Canaanite woman, we must persist in our faith.  Don't back down and never give up when life throws us the unexpected.  God blessed each one of us with an intellect and an ability to reason.   He gives us tools to change our lives for the better.  Counselors, psychiatrists, and social workers help us deal with mental health issues.  Priests and religious dedicate time to help us through spiritual issues.  Many times interacting with friends and families can help us.  Our own parish families are there for love and support.  Also, helping others can provide answers to our own personal circumstances.

Don't give up on God.  He does listen to our prayers. Be aware of the people, situations, places, and things our Lord puts in your life.  Oftentimes answers to our prayers lie in these unexpected avenues.

-J.

A Clean Heart

Saturday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

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Prophet of Ezekiel 18:30-32

Turn and be converted from all your crimes, that they may be no cause of guilt for you. Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.

The proverb quote in the 1st reading from the Prophet of Ezekiel reads oddly but was quite significant in antiquity:  

“Fathers have eaten green grapes,

thus their children’s teeth are on edge.”  

In other words, if a father sinned the punishment for that sin carried over into his sons and daughters.  Same thing for a mother who sinned.  Therefore, whole families would be "tainted" by sins committed by ancestors years before!  Thank God this terrible (what I call) "sin passage through generations" isn't still true today.  Can you imagine if a father committed a crime and his son had to serve jail time?  Can you imagine a grandmother committing an act of adultery which meant her granddaughter was forced to wear a Scarlet "A"?  

Our individual sins often do affect our loved ones, coworkers, and significant others.  However, they are our sins and nobody else's.  We shouldn't play the blame game or expect others to carry around our sins  for us.  The Lord gave us free will to do what we want.  If we rob a bank, murder someone, or deal in drugs we are the ones who must accept the consequences.  Not our children, not our spouses, and not our ancestors.

Through belief in Christ, we have the option to renew our spirit and clean out our dirty hearts. Vacuum out the rage.  Scrub away the sensuality.  Sanitize out the resentment.  Wipe away the pride.  Our hearts were not created to store up a bunch of crud. They were designed to remain squeaky clean with love.  Our fallen nature makes this nearly impossible.  

Spring clean your heart!  If it's been a while, make a trip over to confession.  I promise that your heart will feel much better.  All of that sin really weighs it down over time.  Also, just spending some time in meditation and prayer helps, too.  Our hearts are meant to love!

-J.

Scattering the Proud

Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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Gospel of Luke 1:39-56

“He has shown the strength of his arm, and has scattered the proud in their conceit.He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and has lifted up the lowly…”  

Yesterday I went to confession.  It had been a few months.  I wanted to wipe the slate clean with The Lord before this beautiful feast day of Mary's Assumption.  After waiting in a long line, as usual, I finally made it inside the Reconciliation room.  As I poured out my sins to my confessor, I noticed a dead cockroach right beside where father sat. It laid there motionless with its feet up in the air.  I said to Father, "Did you notice the bug on the floor?"  He replied, "Yes, this place is full of dead things."  Hmmm... I got to thinking more about  that statement in light of confession.  When we walk into the tiny little room, sitting in front of the priest, we are filled with all kinds of filthy sin.  We may have behaved like a nasty insect biting other people, infecting them with welps, rashes or even diseases caused by our sinful nature. In confession we have a chance to kill that sin for good with a spiritual can of RAID!  The priest in Anima Christi fumigates our souls, eradicating sin and returning us to full grace with God.

We are at our lowest when we humbly confess our sins.  Our former pride and conceit is no longer powerful but scattered into tiny nanoparticles.  We are lifted up from our mighty thrones constructed of vanity and sensuality.  We have a chance to go back into the world as a new and better person.

What's so special about the Blessed Virgin Mary is that she was conceived without the stain of original sin.  When she died, she was immediately assumed into Heaven.  I imagine it happened with full fan fair as her Son and angels showered her with beautiful lilies as portrayed in today's meditation art.  Trumpets blasted and harps played beautiful music as the Queen of Heaven entered her new dwelling place.

It's comforting to know the Blessed Mother treats us all as her own children.  In times of struggle and burdens, she's there pouring out her love and care for us. She works on our behalf, counseling with her Son Jesus on matters of the heart.  We don't have to worry about being dead in this world.  We have life in heaven waiting for us.  We should use our limited time on earth in good and holy ways.  Respect and love one another.  Let go of anger and resentment.  Shed away envy and jealousy.  Scatter away the pride in our hearts and replace it with love for all.

As I finished up confession, I took a tissue out of the box and preceded to pick up the dead cockroach off the floor.  I could no longer stand the sight of it.  Father stopped me:  "No.  Let me take care of this! You go on now."  I left the confessional feeling relief.  I spent a few moments in front of the Blessed Sacrament thanking Jesus for his kindness, forgiveness, and mercy.

Let the spiritual RAID fumigation begin!

-J.

Admonishing One Another

Wednesday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 18:15-20

Jesus said to his disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother."

My sophomore year in college I worked as a Resident Advisor (RA) for a freshman all-women's dorm.  Shortly after the Fall semester began, I received noise complaints.  Residents were irritated by the loud music blaring out of one of the dorm rooms all hours of the night.  I knew it was time to have a chat with the young woman inhabiting the room, letting her know she was violating noise policy.  I remember how anxious I felt preparing for the conversation. Would the girl curse me out?  Would she hate me forever for being a lousy RA?  Would my words be effective in getting her to stop playing her music too loud?  Fortunately, everything went fine.  She took the admonishing well.  In fact, I never heard a complaint about noise again.

At times it's necessary to tell people that what they are doing isn't up to snuff.  It can be a challenge, especially if the person is a close friend or a fellow co-worker.  Most managers will say it isn't much fun reprimanding an employee who is chronically late or performs poor work.  Teachers probably don't enjoy sending their students to detention for horseplay in the classroom.   Even a wife may find it difficult to tell her husband that he needs to help more around the house or spend more time with the kids.

I think many of us fear the other person's negative reaction if we criticize him. I'm speaking of constructive criticism, talking to another person as a way of helping him. When we have a problem with someone, it's so important to first talk peacefully.  Holding it all in and then later blowing up at them doesn't work.  Spreading about gossip and endless complaints about a person isn't effective either.  Sometimes a man or woman may not be even aware of an issue about them.

When I experience difficulty with another individual, I like to bring it up the Lord.  Pray to him, asking him for guidance.  Many times simply learning to forgive the person who has been offensive helps me out.

Don't be afraid to correct someone's misbehavior in a calm and compassionate way.  He or she may appreciate the feedback.  Wouldn't it be great if we could all win over our brothers and sisters?

-J.

Life on a Teeter Totter

Tuesday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

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The disciples approached Jesus and said,
“Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven?” He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,
you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven."

Recently, an acquaintance described me as a teeter totter:  "Jennifer, you are such a teeter totter always up and down.  One day is good and then the next bad!"  If this was supposed to be a joke, it was not funny. I fumed inside thinking:  "How dare this person describe me as some stupid playground toy!  What the !@#$?  If I'm a teeter totter, so is everybody else.  We all have our good and bad days. We're human! Geese-Louise!"  

I stewed and I brewed over those pin-pricking little words, now forever branded into my brain.  Let's see....  I can add this to the list of statements made by a host of some lovelies of the male persuasion.   One boyfriend said I was "highly intelligent but lacked common sense."  Another guy in college shouted out "You're Psycho!" every time he saw me.  (This was to make fun of the fact  Hitchcock's Psycho is one of my all-time favorite classics. He was just a mean bully.)  The absolute worse thing a man ever said to me came straight out of the foul mouth co-worker at my former job.  When he found out I was (briefly) engaged he laughed saying:  "Who would want to marry, YOU? Ha!"  I  guess being called a teeter totter is a compliment versus the implication that no man wants to ever marry me...Yikes!

I have to swallow my pride and accept the teeter totter assessment.  Yes, the person hit the nail on the head:  I'm moody.  I want things to be perfect demanding a lot from myself.  I have high expectations of others.  I feel like sometimes I throw temper tantrums like a toddler.  

Jesus wants us to be more childlike in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but this means being kind to others, humble, and meek.  We shouldn't be quick to criticize or jump to the wrong conclusions.  It's our duty to see everybody as a child of God no matter if we like them or not.  They can slander, curse, and defame us all they want.  However, a good Christian takes the verbal assaults with humility knowing all too well that Christ is on her side.  

I think we all live a life on a teeter totter for the most part.  When things are going well, the teeter is up.  When things are going badly, the teeter is down.  The worst part is when the big heavy elephant sits on the other end of the totter.  We're stuck too high to reach the ground.  We feel trapped, helpless, and anxious.  We want somebody to get us off that teeter totter and off now!  We're sick of the childish games.  We want answers and we demand action!  We feel like we're so stuck in a life of endless misery and heartache.  That elephant in the room won't budge!

This is when Christ comes to the rescue.  We pray to him.  We study his teachings.  We make an effort to emulate him.  We look for ways to better serve others so all that extra weight on the totter is lifted.  We want to balance the totter parallel to the ground.  Maybe we need to fatten ourselves up with joy, fortitude, strength, wisdom, understanding, and fear of the Lord in order to bring ourselves into spiritual balance.

Life is moody and unpredictable.  It goes up and down like the teeter totter.  It's up to us to make an effort to not swing up too high or too low when it comes to our faith.  Always remember that  in good and bad times God is there to nurture us.  Keep the faith and do not be afraid!  Aim for spiritual balance, feasting on the fruits of the holy spirit with a humble and contrite heart.

-J.

A Swing of Faith

Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 14:22-33

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.  But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Sometime ago I took golf lessons.  I found a terrific lady instructor at a local golf course.  Every Wednesday I'd go out on the green and practice my swing.  One thing I struggled with was making sure my club connected with the ball. Seems like I hit the dirt more often than the golf ball itself.  I became so frustrated, doubting my ability to ever golf!  The  instructor used to tell me, "Keep your eye focused straight on the ball while you swing!  Do not let your eyes  move with your arms or hips.  You will hit the ball up into the air on contact!"  It took awhile to get the "swing" of things but over time I hit the ball up in the air consistently.  My confidence began to build.  I knew with regular practice I'd play a full game of golf one of these days.  

When Peter kept his eyes focused on The Lord, he was able to walk on water.  It's when he took his eyes off The Lord, frightened by the strong wind, that he began to sink.  He allowed his own human doubts to overwhelm him.  He lacked faith. He didn't stay focused on Christ's love and protection. Like the golf swing, he failed to hit the ball over the water.  The golf ball sank straight into the water hazard. Fortunately for Peter, Jesus caught him in time before he sank into the ocean.

Little Faith   God provides us with opportunities to serve others and better our lives in the process.  Oftentimes, we allow doubt and insecurity to tell us we cannot do anything.  Perhaps our Lord is calling us to volunteer in a church ministry.  We'd like to do it, but instead we talk ourselves out of it.  We don't have faith that God will help us every step of the way.  It took me several years to build up the courage to lector. I knew I had a nice voice and read well.  I felt like I wasn't versed enough in scripture though.  All that changed when I completed the Catholic Biblical School.  Lector positions rarely open up, so six years ago when one finally did I took it.  I remember being incredibly nervous the first few months of reading.  I had no idea if I was any good.  All I know is that nobody asked me to stop reading!  Actually the opposite happened:   I received compliments from parishioners as well as our parish priest.  What a confidence booster!  I knew The Lord blessed me with the wonderful gift of proclaiming the Word of God.  Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I just needed to believe in myself and do a good job.

Keep eyes focused on Christ.  No matter what situations lie in front of use we should always keep our eyes focused on Christ.  Read Holy Scripture.  Pray a daily rosary.  Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  Go to confession on a monthly basis.  If we are able, attend mass during the week or make a silent retreat.  Most important is to keep our faith in Christ alive.  Don't doubt for a moment that he's not around to bless and protect us.  I find when times are rough my Christian faith is what keeps me from breaking apart.  I don't have to worry about drowning with Jesus sitting beside me on a life boat.

St. Catherine of Siena wrote:  "Your Son went down from the heights of his divinity to the depths of our humanity. Can anyone’s heart remain closed and hardened after this?"  Something to think about. Will you continue to lack faith or will you open your mind and heart to Christ's unconditional love and grace?

Take a swing of faith!

-J.

A Former Way of Life

Saturday of the Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time

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Hebrews 1:12-2:4

O LORD, you have marked him for judgment,
O Rock, you have readied him punishment!
Too pure are your eyes to look upon evil,
and the sight of misery you cannot endure.
Why, then, do you gaze on the faithless in silence while the wicked man devours
one more just than himself?

I've been watching the popular Netflix show Orange is the New a Black.  It's considered a comedy drama, but I find it more of a dark comedy.  The foul language and sexual situations doesn't make for a very comfortable viewing experience.  However, the show does give an interesting viewpoint of life in a women's federal prison.  Each episode gives the background story of one of the inmates.  Watching this show is a stern reminder of how really terrible prison life can be.  It's filthy and dangerous. It's not fair.  It's racially polarized.  It's something nobody wants to experience.  Yet, many people commit crimes repeatedly.  They are in and out of prison most of their lives.  They can't seem to find a way out of the cycle of incarceration.  

Conversions can take place in prisons.  Inmates begin to read the bible and attend Sunday worship services.  They sincerely regret the crimes they committed, seeking reconciliation and healing.  If they do get out of prison, they change their lives for the better. Their former way of life is exchanged for a life focused on Christ.

We may be law-obeying citizens never stepping foot inside the walls of a prison cell.  However, our inner life feels like a prison.  Maybe we experience chronic pain, abusing pain killers.  Maybe we are addicted to pornography. Maybe we are abused emotionally, physically or sexually.  Maybe we live all alone with nobody to visit us.  Everybody around us appears to be happy and blessed abundantly.  Why can't I be like my neighbor with no health issues?  Why can't I be like my coworker who has a family?  Why do I have such rotten luck?

Our Lord never promised us an easy life.  But, he did give us the greatest, most effective tool to help us out in our struggles and hardships:  His own flesh and blood!  When we lift up our chronic pain, our addictions, and our emotional problems up to the Lord in prayer, it's amazing how things will change.

I recently read that we should bear our sufferings patiently.  Suffer on behalf of someone else's needs.  So many times we selfishly believe our problems are dreadful compared to others when in fact our problems are actually blessings in disguise.  I've had a run in with some health problems and car issues.  These were so minor compared to stories from friends and acquaintances.  One couple filed for bankruptcy.  Another is filing for divorce.  Two people have passed away.  Another person has been diagnosed with a degenerative disease.  When I begin to throw myself a pity-me-party because I have a boring job and a long commute, I pray for others.  It instantly makes me feel a lot better with whatever situation I may face.

God gives us a choice:  We can keep living a life of selfishness and sin, or we can choose a life of love, hope and charity.  Let us not stay trapped in our own prison cells.  God gives us the key to unlock the cell gate.  All we have to do is open it and experience freedom.  The former way of life is in the past as we look forward to a blessed future with Jesus!

-J.






  

St. Dominic and the Spirit's Sword

Memorial of Saint Dominic,  Priest

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Gospel of Matthew 16:24-28

Jesus said to his disciples,

   “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, 

   take up his cross, and follow me.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,

   but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."


Happy Feast Day, Saint Dominic!  Today is a special feast day for the Order of Preachers.  We celebrate the memorial of St. Dominic of Guzman, founder of the Dominican Order. I came across the text "Novus athleta Domini"  from a hymn sung in today's Liturgy of the Hours Morning Prayer. I think it eloquently sums up St. Dominic and his charism - To Praise, Bless, and Preach.

"Saint Dominic, fulfills his name 
As tireless athlete for his Lord,

In preaching and in making known

The word of God, the Spirit’s sword.

Preserving heart and conscience pure,

From evil he kept far away,

Though burning like a flaming torch

With zeal to save those gone astray.

He spurned the honors of this world,

To all he strove the truth to show,

Supported by the grace of Christ

He went unarmed to meet the foe.

To words he added prodigies

With earnest tears and constant prayer,

While sending his companions out

To spread the Gospel ev’rywhere.

All honor, glory, homage, praise

To God Almighty, One in Three,

Who by the prayers of Dominic

Will give us joy eternally.  Amen."

The Spirit's Sword  I love the symbolic reference of the Word of God to the Spirit's Sword. I never thought of it this way, but it's very accurate, especially in modern day.  As Christians, we are constantly battling against ignorance, apathy, confusion, and disinterest.  The term "post-Christian society" has become a regular description for the world we live in.  

In the 13th century, part of Saint Dominic's mission was the preach the Truth of the Gospels.  Heresy hit epidemic proportions with people choosing their own interpretation of Christianity or worshiping pagan ideals. Saint Dominic and his Order of Preachers understood the Lord calling them to go out into the world, spreading the good news in a dynamic way.  People from far away lands needed to hear the Truth.  It shouldn't only be limited to the cloistered monastery.

When we read scripture and meditate, Christ's words transform themselves into a mighty sword.  We can take that sword and use it in ways that will better our lives inside and out!

Use the Spirit's sword to cut away at negativity, anger, and resentment.  
Use the Spirit's sword to pierce through anxiety, doubt, insecurity, and worthlessness.
Use the Spirit's sword to slice up bad habits and addictions.
Use the Spirit's sword to kill Satan's evil influences.

As Catholics, I think it's important for us to continue to educate ourselves in the faith.  Fortunately, we have so many resources at our fingertips - websites, social media, books, audio programs, Catholic news outlets, etc..  Much more information than Saint Dominic had back in his lifetime.  There's no excuse to be ignorant.

We can all preach the good news of the Gospels to others just like St. Dominic and Jesus.  We do not have to be religious.  In fact, as laity an even greater need exists for us to evangelize and witness to others.  People need to know the accurate Truth.  Secularism and atheism may think it is winning the battle of souls, but we know Christ's message of faith, love and hope will prevail.

It's up to us to take the Spirit's Sword, using the Word of God to change the way others think about Christianity.  Christianity is not a dying religion but very much alive and kicking!

"See, upon the mountains there advances the bearer of good news, announcing peace! (Nahum 2:1)

St. Dominic, Pray for Us!

-J.

Lord, In Your Light May We See Light

Feast of the Transfiguration

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Gospel of Matthew 17:1-9

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light.

A few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, an unexpected thunderstorm passed through the neighborhood.  I slept in my nice comfy bed, dreaming sweet dreams, with my dachshund snuggled beside me.  Suddenly, the ceiling fan light turned on!  The air conditioner kicked off and the alarm system beeped.  Yikes! What on earth just happened?  The bright light scared me straight out of bed.  My poor dog freaked out, whining and crying . She leaped off the bed hiding underneath it.  Groggy-eyed with my heart pumping out of my chest, I realized we just experienced a jolting power surge.  Not at all uncommon in my neighborhood, especially in bad weather....

The piercing bright light from the ceiling fan brought Jesus and his transfiguration to mind.  The thunderstorm electrified the air which made me think of Jesus on top of Mt. Tabor, appearing in front of his disciples with his face lit up like the sun.  I imagined him hovering over my bed in dazzling white clothes with a glow of light surrounding him. What a surreal experience.....

I calmed down my pooch.  After hugging and petting her, I walked around the house checking that everything was okay. I poured a drink of water and as I gulped it down I prayed to Our Lord: 

Please protect me and my precious dog during this thunderstorm.  When the light came on in the middle of my bedroom, I was instantly reminded of your shining light always present in my life and the life of so many others!  It's so brilliant and never goes out.  I don't have to worry about losing electricity when I receive spiritual illumination from you, Dear Jesus!

We may be jolted by a scare or a fright every now and then.  Sometimes we purposely scare ourselves by watching a horror movie or visiting a haunted house.  However, other times the unexpected happens that we just aren't prepared for:  a job loss, a cancer diagnosis, divorce papers or the loss of a loved one.  We become scared and frightened.  The scare is no longer "fun" but very serious. We are worried and anxious.  We become like the disciples tempted to run away and hide, lying prostrate on the ground staring at the raw earth instead of the bright, healing light of Christ shining from heaven above.  We simply can't understand why God would allow something so terrifying to happen to us.  Christ's light seems to have burned itself out.  We don't feel that unconditional love.  We shake and tremble anxious of the unknown.

Why Lord, have you abandoned me?  Why do I feel so anxious?  Why aren't you here to help me?  Please, Lord, I need your shining light to lift me away from this darkness.  I need your guidance to help me tackle my problems with strength and resilience.  I know you are here, Jesus!  I'm just struggling to connect with you.  

It takes incredible faith to pull ourselves off  the filthy ground, ready to handle the burdens and bad circumstances that life presents us.  We must remember we are not meant to fight our battles alone.  God is with us every step of the "lighted" way.  There's no darkness with Christ illuminating us with his love, grace, and wisdom. We just need to keep our eyes open and focused on above, not what is below.  Lift up our fears and hand them over to the Lord.  

"O Christ, you gave light to the world when the glory of the Creator arose over you,

– we pray for men of good will that they may walk in your light. 

Lord, in your light may we see light."

(Divine Office Evening Prayer Intercessions)

-J.

Jesus, Can You Give Me A Tow?

Memorial of Saint John Vianney, Priest

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Gospel of Matthew 14:22-36

At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

This morning I got in my car ready to head off to work, positive I'd experience a great day with NO major drama.  My weekend was nice and relaxing. My stomach finally calmed down, and I felt normal again.  A happy Monday greeted me until....

I got in my car, placed the key in the ignition and heard a weak, pulsating sound.  No engine start! Uh Oh.... 

Oh boy, this is not what I need, Dear Lord!  Is it the battery, alternator, spark plugs, starter, something electrical?  Yikes! I can't take another day off from work for a personal issue.  What am I going to do? Please give me a little guidance here. Sigh...

I admit I cursed under my breathe, annoyed as molasses!  However, I did think of a quick action plan. I called AAA roadside service.  The tow truck came by my house and jumper cabled the battery back to life.  Then, I was on my way to the car mechanic. Within another hour and a half the battery was replaced and I made it to work. Problem solved!

I felt like Jesus and my guardian angel stood right beside me. They encouraged me not to be frightened or discouraged. God always provides when we are in need! Certainly, I didn't worry about the cost of repair or no longer having a reliable mode of transportation.   It was simply a dead battery!  What a small inconvenience compared to the urgent needs of so many others.

After the car was fixed, I patted myself on the back. What a relief!  I acted like a calm adult.  I didn't whine, cry, or go all ballistic thinking my life was ending because of a dead battery.  I didn't plunge into the deep sea like Peter.  In fact,   I felt like I was walking on water at Jesus' command, confident I can tackle problems with calmness and control.  Internally I was shaking inside from anxiety, but I didn't allow it to show through.  I just kept walking toward Jesus gliding along the temporary choppy waters.

When life presents us with a dead battery along with a flat tire and an empty gas tank,  we should turn to the Lord as our spiritual mechanic.  He is there to give us courage and strength to tackle our problems face on. Also, he gives us the wisdom to make good, intelligent decisions.

 Like a baby taking her first steps, she walks toward her mother looking for signs of encouragement.  She may stumble and fall a couple of times, but she will eventually make it into her mother's arms.   We, too, must continue our own individual "baby steps" as we travel the narrow path to holiness.  We cannot become discouraged like Peter and fall flat on our behinds.  No, we always remember that God loves us so much. He will not allow us to suffer alone.  We all experience ups and downs in life.  We all have those "bad days" where we think the Lord isn't paying attention.  He most certainly is!  So many times I've experienced minor inconveniences that could have turned out much, much worse.  In fact, I'm convinced God, the angels, and the Saints are responsible for protecting all of us from harm on a daily basis.  We just need to believe, take courage, and do not be afraid!

Saint John Vianney, Pray for Us!

-J.

Feed the Multitudes

Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 14:13-21

Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied....

I woke up in the middle of the night with more stomach and intestinal pains.  The burning and aching comes and goes. I thought I was rid of this stomach discomfort weeks ago, but it's lingering.  I'm starting to think I've developed a REAL ulcer.  My family has a history of them.  My sister was once hospitalized with over a dozen bleeding ulcers.  Yikes!....I despise going to the doctor, but this is getting to be too much!  The fact that I can no longer enjoy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine without pain isn't fun....

I confess that I skipped out on my normal 7:30am Mass duties.  I overslept from tossing and turning all night.  I managed to attend a later mass  but left right after communion.  My tummy just felt terrible. Hopefully God will forgive me for not fully participating in mass as usual.  I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain and don't want to look sickly around others!

 Oh, how I'd love to dine on loaves and fish with Jesus and the five thousand!  What an awesome experience to be there in the flesh, seeing such a miraculous miracle take place.  I'm sure it lifted up Jesus' spirits to help feed the crowd.  The death of John the Baptist must have been shocking and devastating to our Lord.  Just being alone in his boat gave him a chance to privately mourn.  I'm sure our Lord prayed to the Father on behalf of John's soul.  No man should have to endure such a horrendous murder.

Instead of pitying himself and the loss of his dear cousin, Jesus was moved with pity by the vast crowds.  He saw their dire need for love and compassion. Jesus realized he must move away from his own grief and turn his sorrow into something good.  He must preach to the crowds, feeding his sheep so they will receive spiritual nourishment. 

As Catholics, we have the opportunity to receive the Eucharist every day of the week!  We can continuous nourish our souls with the spiritual food so vital in keeping us bonded to Christ in mind, heart, body, and soul.

 Sometimes our stomachs may ache with pain, and we are resistant to dine off of Christ's body and blood.  Perhaps we are riddled with sin in the form of bleeding ulcers overtaking our souls.  The pain and the agony just won't go away.  We need to visit Jesus the heavenly physician in the Sacrament of Confession in order to heal our stomachs.  Cure ulcers that cause so much pain in our lives.  Once we are given spiritual antibiotics by the Lord himself we can feel more confident to present ourselves at the Lord's table.  Consume the holy body and blood of Jesus Christ in a spirit of thanksgiving.  Suddenly, our pain and anguish disappears.  We are once again nourished by the Eucharist.

Once our hearts, minds, body and souls reconnect with Christ, we have an opportunity to feed the rest of the flock through evangelization and witness.  We can go out into the world and proclaim the good news, recognizing the Truth of Jesus Christ is satisfying.  It only becomes dissatisfying when we choose to push away God and all that he represents.

Feed the multitudes through acts of love, faith, hope, and charity.  Receive the Holy Eucharist devoutly and often in order to develop the strength and fortitude to be an effective Christian disciple.

-J.