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Mark 9:2-10
Jesus took Peter,
James, and John and led them up a
high mountain apart by themselves. And he was
transfigured before them, and his clothes
became dazzling white, such as no fuller
on earth could bleach them.
The 40 Day Lenten Experiment now in progress.... I'm not sure where the Lord will lead me, but I know he's asked me to think and contemplate. Examine myself more closely. Try to fill in the gaps which lead along a path of sin and away from God. Sometimes I think my heart, constructed of safety bricks, has blocked my one-on-one communications with others, allowing pain and anxiety to wither me away into nothingness. Yes, I can type away on this blog, and release all of my feelings into the unknown cybersphere, but what about the known hemosphere? My stomach churns with guilt as my heart beats with fear. Will the Lord remain kind and compassionate with me? Will he lead me to holy conversion? I feel my body is in such a weak and pitiful state, not knowing if the pains I feel are phantom or real.
I did the unthinkable yesterday; a grave sin in the eyes of the Church. (I will be visiting confession this week.) I knew what I was doing when I signed up for a fifteen minute reading with a psychic. But, my spiritual curiosity, and desire for novelty, drew me to act. I've never been to a psychic in my entire life, and I've always been a little afraid. Both my mom and sister have engaged in readings in the past. I thought my experience would be a superficial chat about the future. Instead it was much more unsettling. I gleaned a message that I really didn't want to hear. I was shocked at how closely this psychic's "message from the Spirits" synced with my life.
** I am not at all promoting psychics, tarot cards or any of that kind new age/pagan stuff!! It's very counter-intuitive to the purpose of Lent! **
** I am not at all promoting psychics, tarot cards or any of that kind new age/pagan stuff!! It's very counter-intuitive to the purpose of Lent! **
The psychic said I 'm harboring bubbles of hurt inside my gut which need release. I felt a few chills up and down my arms which are supposed to be a sign of a Spirit's presence. Who's to say it was only air flow from the HVAC system? Skepticism set in. However, this psychic said something that caused me to pause: "Your thoughts are an illusion." What the....? I asked her what she meant and she answered: "Your thoughts are your Truth and not necessarily the Truth of others." I walked out of the session totally confused. My shoulders tightened and my stomach turned. Is this psychic referring to negative thinking? Have I drawn wrong conclusions about people and situations? Is everything in my head one big illusion comprised of false assumptions?
I know I cannot take a psychic's words as gospel truth. I can only take the God's Holy Word as Divine Truth! I can pray to my guardian angel for protection. I can pray to God for an outpouring of mercy and grace. However, I cannot possible let the words of a "spiritual healer" keep me bound in apprehension. Yes, I'm prone to misinterpretation. Aren't we all? Aren't we all sinful creatures who live behind masks day in an day out, an illusion to others?
What I find truly unsettling about the psychic's words are the words spoken by a priest only a few weeks ago. He said me: "Remember, 90% of what you think is only a figment of your imagination and not real!" Yikes! The parallel language is strikingly eerie.
I think the Holy Spirit is drawing me to let go of my sin; let go of my negativity and pessimism; let go of the fear and hurt. Let go and let God heal! I can do all of the breathing exercises in the world to move the "bubbles of the past" from my gut. I can pray to "the spirits" for assistant, but what I need the most is faith and love in Jesus Christ. Pray for his healing.
Jesus transfigured himself in front of Peter, James and John to give them insider knowledge into his holy mission and to encourage them to persevere in the faith! Stay strong through temptations. Don't allow weakness to destroy. Keep mind and heart focused on God's holy mission throughout Lent.
-J.
I know I cannot take a psychic's words as gospel truth. I can only take the God's Holy Word as Divine Truth! I can pray to my guardian angel for protection. I can pray to God for an outpouring of mercy and grace. However, I cannot possible let the words of a "spiritual healer" keep me bound in apprehension. Yes, I'm prone to misinterpretation. Aren't we all? Aren't we all sinful creatures who live behind masks day in an day out, an illusion to others?
What I find truly unsettling about the psychic's words are the words spoken by a priest only a few weeks ago. He said me: "Remember, 90% of what you think is only a figment of your imagination and not real!" Yikes! The parallel language is strikingly eerie.
I think the Holy Spirit is drawing me to let go of my sin; let go of my negativity and pessimism; let go of the fear and hurt. Let go and let God heal! I can do all of the breathing exercises in the world to move the "bubbles of the past" from my gut. I can pray to "the spirits" for assistant, but what I need the most is faith and love in Jesus Christ. Pray for his healing.
Jesus transfigured himself in front of Peter, James and John to give them insider knowledge into his holy mission and to encourage them to persevere in the faith! Stay strong through temptations. Don't allow weakness to destroy. Keep mind and heart focused on God's holy mission throughout Lent.
-J.
P.S. These words from Letter 14 of Fenelon's Let Go is an inspiring addendum to today's meditation:
Faith seems to keep us constantly up in the air, never quite certain of what is going to happen in the future; never quite able to touch a foot to solid ground. But faith is willing to let God act with the most perfect freedom, knowing that we belong to Him and are to be concerned only about being faithful in that which he has given us to do for the moment.
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