Thirsting for God

Oh God, you are my God, for you I long; for you my soul is thirsting.  My body pines for you like a dry, weary land without water.  So I gaze on you in the sanctuary to see your strength and your glory.
-Psalm 63: 2-9

These  verses from the Divine Office Morning Prayer (Psalter Week I) are very powerful and speak to my inner soul.  A soul at times filled with worry, doubt, and insecurity.  A tender soul who desires to be a good Christian: A giver not a taker, a lover not a hater.  I struggle with that sense of purpose and meaning in my life.  My soul thirsts for something much richer and deeper than the temporal things life.  I go to my job every day.  I maintain my home.  I go to Mass and Confession regularly.  I pray and say my rosary.  However, my soul seems to thirst for something much deeper and more profound.  I feel like my body is in a desert amidst a secular culture so wrapped up in material possessions, sexual pervasiveness, wealth, and power.  All of these material possessions are like alcohol for my soul.  They are intoxicating and tempting.  However, drinking such alcohol keeps me in a state of de-hydration.  The pure water of the soul, that water straight from the Lord's cistern, rehydrates and refreshes.

I look at the things I possess in my life.  I think of how many things I really don't need that are stock piled in my attic and closets.  What can I give up to charity?  What can I sell and put the proceeds into a savings account?  What subscriptions can I give up to cut down on costs?  How can I simplify my life?  I feel like so many of the "things" I own and don't use are a waste in the desert.  They are not life producing or fruitful.  They are just around gathering dust. 

This summer as I reflect on ways to re-hydrate my soul and focus on the strength and glory of God, I want to explore ways to live more frugally adopting a poverty of spirit that is quite counter-cultural to society today.  This will be a challenge especially with so many temptations to buy, buy, buy.  But, all I really need are the basics.  I discovered years ago I cannot hang out with the wealthy or pretend I'm "bigger" than I actually am.  It just makes me over-spend and then look like a "fake."  Yes, some people are blessed with wealth.  I happen to not be one of those types.  This is where I need to turn to God and thank him for the blessings He's given me.  Take what I have and cherish them.  Don't live excessively but simply. 

I do not want my soul to continue to thirst for the Lord.  I desire my soul to bathe from the waterfall of the Holy Spirit. 

-J.