You Duped Me, Lord!

Twenty-second Sunday in a Ordinary Time

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Jeremiah 20:7-9

You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed. All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me.

Scammed & Duped!  Recently, a friend told me a story of a woman who found the perfect gentleman through an online dating site.  He happened to live in Nigeria.  They texted and emailed every day, even speaking on the phone long distance. They fell in love even though they never met in person. Within six months they were engaged.  When the new fiancé  asked for the tiny sum of $800 to help prepare for their wedding, in Nigeria no less, the woman didn't hesitate.  She wire transferred the funds, hoping to receive the engagement ring from him soon.  She never heard from the "fiancé"  again.  Later this woman realized she was duped by a scam artist. Such frauds regularly prey on Internet dating sites harvesting desperate women looking for a man, any man, in order to escape loneliness.  These women fail to see the warning signs that the men they are "dating" are just too good to be true.....

Speaking from personal experience, I've allowed myself to be duped.  Maybe not financially but definitely emotionally.  I know what it feels like to be swooned  by a beautiful man.  Such a man can smell lack of confidence and lack of self worth, use it for his own satisfaction, and then toss me back to into the water, moving on to new catch.  So many other fishes in the sea......

Does God Dupe Us?  The prophet Jeremiah boldly states that he's been duped by The Lord!  He sees the difficulties of life as a prophet .  He's laughed at, mocked, and not taken seriously.  Maybe he thought working on the Lord's behalf would be super easy.  People would listen and learn.  No conflict or persecution.  No embarrassment.  Jeremiah's words would reach the multitudes in profound ways!

Life doesn't work out very smoothly.  It's a bumpy, often chaotic ride, that challenges us.  If we were not occasionally duped by God, we would never grow and develop into better Christians.  God doesn't dupe us in a sleezy, scam artist kind of way.  He changes life's circumstances so we will bind closer to him.  Yes, there will be times when we want to run away and hide.  We feel like pushing Jesus to the curb.  However, this is when we need to fight through the negative thinking.  Pray, pray, pray!  Don't give up on God just because things aren't going very well.  We may think life is a pile of horse manure, but from God's point of view we are doing great!  Just keep walking through the mess and stench until eventually roses will bloom.

What is true happiness?   We may think going to Mass every Sunday, praying the rosary, reading scripture, praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and even volunteering in church ministries will somehow make us immune to unhappiness.  I mean, we love Jesus, and even consume him each week in holy communion, doesn't this mean we should be instantly healed of our burdens and strife?  No.  I wish I could say "yes" but God doesn't work that way.

The only way for us to be truly happy in this limited life is to synchronize our own personal will with God's will.  When we merge our hearts with the Sacred Heart of Jesus we feel empowered.  We can handle life's crosses with a better frame of mind.  Things that once appeared so tragic are less dramatic.  The idea that "God has duped me so I will never believe in him again" vanishes.  

Life is all about starts and stops.  It's about experiencing chaos and calm.  With The Lord as our guide, we coast through the bumps and bruises knowing that it's all going according to God's plan.  

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Faith Burnout

I never thought I'd come to a point in my spiritual life when I'd experience faith burnout.   It sounds strange....  How can I become worn out from practicing the Catholic faith?  How can I question what faith truly means?  How can I one day be perfectly content with attending mass, praying the rosary, reading spiritual works, and engaging in volunteer activities but the next want to stop everything and move on to something else?

Just like working at a  job, our faith can grow stale and lifeless.  It appears like our prayers are never answered.  We attend mass each Sunday and see the same people with the same unending problems and annoyances.  During the liturgy, memorized prayers and habitual kneeling make it easy for our minds to drift to thoughts other than God.  We  think about our "To Do Lists" without listening to one word of the priest's homily! After we consume the Eucharist, we want to sneak out of Church as quickly as possible.  No time for the closing prayers or final hymn.  We've completed our Sunday obligation, and now it's time to move on with our lives.

When it comes to the Church's unwavering position against contraception, abortion, and gay marriage, we may begin to question if we are in the right religion at all!  Many of our Protestant brothers and sisters appear to be more accepting of societal trends whereas the Church won't budge one inch in its teachings.  The world is rapidly changing all around us; yet, the church appears to be decades behind.  It becomes frustrating, even "burnout inducing", to see very little signs of adaptability.  The Church doesn't mind being Arch Enemy #1 among people who disagree with her teachings.  The constant tug of war between what Christ desires and what Society prefers is exhausting!

We have to be careful when a bad case of faith burnout arises.  We may decide to quit going to Mass for just a few weeks.  We may decide to stop praying just for a few more weeks.  We may even consider visiting the non-denominational church a friend attends with the hopes that we may feel more welcomed and loved.  No more need for confession because we no longer have to feel guilty for sex out of marriage or contraception.  No more rigid "Catholic" rules to follow that only keeps us habitually stressed out and criticized by others who don't "think" the same way the Catholic Church thinks.

I've battled burnout in terms of religion for the past few months.  I decided to visit an Episcopalian Church with the idea that it's as close to Catholicism as one can get.  I'd check it out to see if it's a right fit for me.  Then I thought about it further.... I wouldn't be able to take the Eucharist in the Episcopalian Church.  What about Mary and the rosary?  Those are so special to me; however, none of the Protestant faiths take it as seriously.  It looked like the uptown Episcopalian Church would be fun with tons of social activities and a demographic of young people my age.  Certainly families with 4,5 + kids wouldn't be the norm and the elderly wouldn't be the majority in attendance.  Boy, was I thinking totally off-kilter......

The Catholic Church is where I'm supposed to be!  Just because I'm a little burnout with the same liturgy, the same people, and the same volunteer activities doesn't mean I should just quit Catholicism completely.  I need to pray to our Lord for the strength to pull me out of this blahness, seeing  the faith from a new perspective.  I've spent 16 years of my life devoted to Catholicism.  I try to imagine myself anything but Catholic and just can't do it.

I think the Devil loves to tempt us away from faith.  He wants boredom and annoyance to take over our minds and hearts so we will quit going to Church.  Jump on the modern society bandwagon where everything goes.  Not so fast!  In times of faith burnout, we must creatively find ways to get through it.  Attend a retreat.  Volunteer for a new ministry.  Pray a Holy Hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  Read scriptures on faith in general. I find every time I pray the rosary, holding those beautiful rosary beads in my hand, I'm drawn back into the arms of Christ.  The thoughts of leaving the Catholic Church vanish.

We all experience "faith burnout" in one way or another.  Through fervent prayer it can be overcome. Don't give up on the Catholic Church!

-J.

Share Your Master's Joy

Saturday of the Twenty-First Week in Ordinary Time

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Jesus told his disciples this parable:“A man going on a journey called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one– to each according to his ability...."

In my high school Physics class, a major part of our grade included completing an egg drop assignment.  The premise involved designing a protective barrier between an egg and the ground so when dropped from a two story roof the egg remained intact.  We were given a few weeks to create a suitable design fulfilling dimension and size requirements.  A prize went to the successful student who's egg didn't break.  I remember driving over to Michaels craft store to look for materials.  I decided on a fairly simple design:  Wrap the egg inside a round Styrofoam container used for fake flowers. The day of the egg drop I was terribly nervous.  It was my senior year and my top-ten GPA meant everything.  I simply could not afford a bad grade in Physics because of a broken egg.

What a cold February morning when our Physics class walked up to the school's roof to start the egg drop challenge.  I remember seeing splat after splat.  Everybody's egg broke.  When it came my turn, I carefully dropped my Styrofoam ball from the roof.  After the egg fell we inspected it  to find not one crack!  In fact, my egg was the only one in the class that didn't break.  I won a movie gift certificate as the prize.  Everybody was surprised, including the teacher, that a simple Styrofoam ball was insulating enough to protect the egg.

Just think:  Simply trusting in Jesus and following his Way, Truth and Life protects our souls from breakage.  The Lord acts as a protective shell around our fragile and vulnerable hearts.  We can entrust our darkest secrets, intimate desires, and worries with Him.  He will not allow us to completely crack and fall apart.  In fact, God blesses us with gifts each and every day.  It's up to us to use them wisely.

Five, Two, One....According to Ability  Instead of three, two, one like a typical countdown  it's five, two, one;  the number of talents the Master gives to his servants.  I find it interesting  the wicked servant is only given the one talent according to his ability. The Master must have not expected a whole lot from him to begin with he only received  the one talent. Why does the master get so upset then? Why bother giving the third servant any talents?

 The Master of the talents desires to entrust his possessions with all of his servants equally and according to their individual abilities.  He hoped his servants would listen to his request, protecting and properly investing the talents.  However, the wicked servant allowed fear to take over. Burying his one solid gift  is like burying his head in the sand.  He doesn't have to think about it or realize it's value.  He can simply walk away - out of sight and out of mind.  It's not his money anyway.  Why take the risk of possibly upsetting the demanding Master if he loses the one talent?  It's easier just to bury it away than to trade it up for something more profitable.

God does not want us to bury our gifts in the sand!  He wants us to use them to the fullest, evangelizing and spreading the good news . Desire to share in His eternal joy!

Share Your Master's Joy  We may not realize this, but God gives us gifts on a daily basis.  They may appear small and insubstantial; however, all we need to do is take the time to notice and cherish them.  For me, a smile is one such beautiful gift.  I think of the smile of a child playing with a toy, the smile of someone laughing, or the smile when a friend greets another friend.  When I'm having a rough day, a smile brings warmth back into my heart.  When I'm feel down, a smile brings happiness back to mind.  Some people are blessed with a positive attitude and a habitual smile that's infectious!  God sends such persons to continuously spread joy to others. Joy is what makes life worth living. Sharing our joy keeps fear at bay and helps us recognize our gifts and talents, using them for the benefit of all of God's Kingdom.

-J.

Blind Guides & the Friendly Skies

Tuesday of the Twenty First Week in Ordinary Time

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“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity.
But these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel!"

Yesterday, my return flight from Chicago back to Dallas was scheduled to depart at 2:30 pm. Due to "pending" bad weather, we ended up grounded. We taxied around the airport for over two hours.  Stopping and starting, even changing directions on the runway, didn't help us get to our destination.  Not one drop of rain or one flash of lightning during the time period.   Eventually we ran out of fuel, taxiing back to the gate. After waiting around for a new flight crew, we finally took off around 6:30 pm.   I didn't make it home until nearly 11:30 pm.  Nothing worse than wasting time at an airport....

Let's just say I thought of the people working for American Airlines as blind guides, hauling us around like camels. At least camels can store water in their humps.  I was dying of thirst.  Oh, how'd I'd enjoy a nice cup of water if a flight attendant offered it to us. No such luck.  Keep that seat belt fastened and secure at all times even while coasting around and around on the tarmac merry-go-round.   

I miss the days when air travel was a pleasant, luxurious experience.  We didn't have to worry about 3 oz liquids on carry-ons, baggage fees, or rude flight attendants.  Flying was a privilege, and not everybody could afford it. People were required to wear their Sunday best while flying.

The Pharisees and scribes basically went around in hypocritical fashion, flaunting their wealth and power by tithing herbs and spices.  Yet, they neglected the important things about the law such as faithfulness, non-judgment, and mercy toward others.  I think of the CEO of major companies, such American, advertising a "new" way to fly; big fancy new airplanes with seats that lay all the way back along with iPad access and even a glass of champagne.  Most of us can never afford such luxury, but of course the service is catered more toward  the business travelers and those with the big wallets.  

Somehow the skies don't seem so friendly anymore.  Travel is more of a pain than a convenience.  Blind leading the blind through endless cancellations and delays. 

 I wonder what the common every day person thought of the privileged Pharisee and scribe.  Did they think of them as hypocrites just as much as Jesus and his disciples?  Were they like the modern CEO's of major corporate giants making millions of dollars "selling" a flawed product to consumers?  A product that is very much needed (like air travel) but supplied to us in an uncomfortable and often annoying manner?

Blind guides and friendly skies...I think if we want friendly skies in terms of our Catholic faith we need to open our eyes and notice what's happening around us.  Make an effort to eliminate the hypocrisy within our own actions.  Don't announce something is "new and better" when it's still old and worn.  Fix it and make it exceptional for the Kingdom of God.

-J.

A New Perspective

This weekend I've been visiting my girlfriend in Chicago.  I absolutely love the city with its awesome food, cocktails, museums, and night life.  For years I've wanted to move here.  Certainly Chi Town is wonderful in the summertime but winter is another story!

This mini trip away from home has allowed me to view my life from a new perspective.  I've realized I need to make some pretty big changes in order to live a happier and more vibrant life.  Certainly Christ is part of this transition.  If not, changes I make may not be right for me.

First and foremost, I must clean out the garbage that makes me reek of anxiety and worry; stink of hate and resentment; and smell of inaction.  Certain people who do nothing but bring about a sense of worthlessness should get the boot.  I'm only growing older.  I don't have time wasting away my life in relationships which leave me bitter and sour.

Secondly, I absolutely must stop comparing myself to others.  This involves understanding the unique gifts God has blessed me with and how I can use them to the best of my abilities.  When I compare myself to someone younger, someone wealthier, or someone more educated I stay in a depressive funk.  It's wasted energy that should be used to enrich my own life.  Nobody else exactly like me exists on earth. 

Thirdly, I need to get busy living.  I'm at my best when my day is filled with productive activity.  When I wallow in self-pity, and worry about everything going wrong in my life, I miss out on what is going right.  

There's nothing better than getting away from the daily grind.  I find I think much more clearly when I'm in relaxed vacation mode.  Something about staying in a different city, breathing the air, and eating the food is therapeutic.  At least for a few days, I can forget about annoying work or stuff I must take care of around the house.  

Gotta love vacation!

-J.

Spiritual Snippet -- Thoughts on Suicide

One Sunday morning I arrived at 7:30 am Mass to hear the devastating news that one our ushers committed suicide.  A parishioner found his body inside his home with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.  We were in total shock.  This gentleman attended mass every Sunday.  He dressed well and always greeted people with a smile.  He didn't look like he was in pain or show signs of mental illness.   We didn't think anything of it when he turned in his church keys the weekend before.  He simply stated he wouldn't be around much longer.  People stop volunteering for one reason or another. We just thought this was the case.  We had no idea he planned to kill himself.

Suicide is an uncomfortable word.  It's hard to say without feeling a lump in the throat.  It's difficult to hear about, especially if it's someone we love who decided to take his own life.  It's impossible to fully understand why anyone could decide death is the answer to problems.

Suicide is a selfish act in itself.   We hear about people who kill themselves commit a grave mortal sin and they are destined for Hell automatically.  But, is this really true?  Doesn't God know the difference between suicide due to depression vs. suicide as a form of mass destruction?

Teenagers kill themselves because they can no longer endure bullying. The suicide bomber frequently makes news headlines in a terrorist attack, killing himself as an disturbing act of God.  Then, there is the celebrity, like Robin Williams, wealthy and talented who no longer can stand the pressure of stardom. Depression drove him to hang himself.

Here is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about suicide:

2281    Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. (2212)

282    If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law. (1735)

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

2283    We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives. (1037)

Those who have committed suicide do have a chance at repentance!  They are not doomed to suffer in the fires of hell.  I've known a few people, including a distant relative, who killed themselves.  I always hoped and prayed they'd be forgiven by God. 

 So many times people lose the will to live because of depression.  Their lives center around darkness. They don't understand that God has give them such a beautiful gift.  All they see is pain, anger, and hurt.  Personally, I've struggled with suicidal thoughts.  It's very scary when the mind goes into the dark abyss where all the good things in life suddenly appear bad.  What I've discovered that the best way to get my mind off of death is to pray to God.  Refocus my thoughts on his love and mercy.  Make a point of getting busy living!  Exercise, socialize, and intellectualize.  Writing down my thoughts on this blog helps wonders, too.  

Are you feeling suicidal?  Don't give up!  There are so many people willing to help with those thoughts that don't seem to go away quite easily.  Talk with a priest, a trusted friend, or a counselor.  Get on medication if needed.  Always remember God loves you and wants you to be healthy spiritually, physically and emotionally.

-J.

Nothing is Impossible With God

Tuesday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 19:23-30

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said,“Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said,

“For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.”

Uh-Oh! As I left confession last Thursday evening, I checked my cell phone.  Three missed calls and two voicemails!  Although my phone was on silent, I noticed another call coming through from my mother.  I answered  "Hello?"  Mom's voice sounded worried: "Jennifer - Where are you?  I keep getting calls from your alarm company saying the security alarm is going off at the house!"  Uh Oh....

I knew exactly what triggered the alarm:  My dog!  I left her out of her kennel, giving her full reign of the house.  Silly me forgot to deactivate the alarm.  Cayenne, my lovable dachshund, triggers the motion detector when she walks into the living room.  I felt guilty leaving my doggy home alone!  According to a voicemail left by the monitoring service, the alarm must have been sounding for nearly 45 minutes.  I was still a 35 minute drive back to the house!

I got in my car and drove as quickly as I could. A few minutes down the road my fuel light came on. Ah great! I'm almost out of gas. I don't have time to stop.  I need to get to my little pooch.  She's probably terrified by fright.  She hates loud sounds!

I admit I drove a little above the speed limit trying to get home pronto. Of course, as Murphy's Law always works, I hit every red light along the way!  Fortunately, I arrived home safely without running out of gas.  I listened for sounds of a screeching alarm.  Total silence.  I opened the backdoor and found my dog waiting for me, jumping up and down, wagging her tail, as if nothing ever happened.  I checked out the alarm keypad noticing flashing red lights signaling it went off.  All I figure is the alarm company must have turned off the alarm from their end.  Thank the Lord because it saved me a lot of headache dealing with the Police Department.  They issue residents citations for false alarms.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief!!

Nothing is impossible with God.  The Lord constantly watches over us. He doesn't give us more than we can handle at a time.  It may seem like we are up against the most impossible circumstances in the world.  We're stressed, tired, and lifeless.  We no longer know if we can deal with all of the dog poo thrown at us.  Keep faith and hope alive.  Like I've written many times before, life changes.  Circumstances change.  Our crosses now won't be the exact same crosses 5 years from now.

 Sometimes in a state of emergency we imagine the worse.  We rush to the rescue just to find out everything is essentially okay.  However, we never know when a false alarm turns into something more serious.  Crises do, and will happen, in our lives.  We have to always be prepared.  Act smart and be safe.  I find the greatest preparation for the unexpected "stuff" that happens in life is to keep close to Jesus.  Pray, meditate, worship, and dine with Him.  Gather up as much spiritual strength as possible so when that "emergency" happens I am prepared, ready to tackle it.  Those times I've distance myself from God, not taking my prayer life seriously, is when I normally don't handle unpleasant situations as well as I should.

Be like the mighty little fire ant in today's mediation artwork.  Be on fire for Christ!  Power up with his Word made flesh!  Form a close connection with Our Lord so that nothing is ever impossible with his guidance.

-J.

  

How Great is Your Faith?

Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Gospel of Matthew 15:21-28

He said in reply,“It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters. Then Jesus said to her in reply,“O woman, great is your faith!

Whenever I read this scripture passage, I recoil inside thinking how offensive our Lord acts toward the poor Canaanite woman. The behavior is shocking because normally Jesus is so kind toward others, especially those suffering.  In this case, Jesus and his disciples know the woman is not Jewish.  She comes from a group of people not chosen by God.  So, why should they help heal her daughter?  She's not one of them. She doesn't believe what they believe.  

The Canaanite woman persists.  She doesn't back down or go away so easily even after being called a dog.  She's willing to take even the smallest ounce of scraps from the Master in order to save her child.  Her faith is so strong that Jesus can't simply push her away.  He eventually heals her daughter.

Sometimes we pray to God asking him to fulfill our own personal needs, even demanding situations to turn out a specific way.  Maybe we want a new job with a higher salary working at a prestigious company.  Maybe we want God to heal our loved one from a crippling disease.  Maybe we want the annoying neighbor next door to move away for good.  When our petitions are not answered the way we like, we become disillusioned.  We think God doesn't listen to us.  He must have forgotten all about us as he helps others give them what they want.  In bad circumstances, we decide to turn away from God.  Stop going to church.  Stop praying.  Turn to secularism or even atheism as a cure all.  Who needs an invisible God who never answers us?

On the contrary, God does listen to our prayers and petitions.  He knows us better than anyone.  He knows what we truly need versus what we want superficially.  The answers we seek may lie in interactions with people we despise or in a job we don't particularly like.  It may feel like we are stuck in a dead-end situation, but take heart that things will change!  They never stay the same.  We simply can't just pray to God asking for him to help us but then take no action on our own.

Like the Canaanite woman, we must persist in our faith.  Don't back down and never give up when life throws us the unexpected.  God blessed each one of us with an intellect and an ability to reason.   He gives us tools to change our lives for the better.  Counselors, psychiatrists, and social workers help us deal with mental health issues.  Priests and religious dedicate time to help us through spiritual issues.  Many times interacting with friends and families can help us.  Our own parish families are there for love and support.  Also, helping others can provide answers to our own personal circumstances.

Don't give up on God.  He does listen to our prayers. Be aware of the people, situations, places, and things our Lord puts in your life.  Oftentimes answers to our prayers lie in these unexpected avenues.

-J.

A Clean Heart

Saturday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

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Prophet of Ezekiel 18:30-32

Turn and be converted from all your crimes, that they may be no cause of guilt for you. Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.

The proverb quote in the 1st reading from the Prophet of Ezekiel reads oddly but was quite significant in antiquity:  

“Fathers have eaten green grapes,

thus their children’s teeth are on edge.”  

In other words, if a father sinned the punishment for that sin carried over into his sons and daughters.  Same thing for a mother who sinned.  Therefore, whole families would be "tainted" by sins committed by ancestors years before!  Thank God this terrible (what I call) "sin passage through generations" isn't still true today.  Can you imagine if a father committed a crime and his son had to serve jail time?  Can you imagine a grandmother committing an act of adultery which meant her granddaughter was forced to wear a Scarlet "A"?  

Our individual sins often do affect our loved ones, coworkers, and significant others.  However, they are our sins and nobody else's.  We shouldn't play the blame game or expect others to carry around our sins  for us.  The Lord gave us free will to do what we want.  If we rob a bank, murder someone, or deal in drugs we are the ones who must accept the consequences.  Not our children, not our spouses, and not our ancestors.

Through belief in Christ, we have the option to renew our spirit and clean out our dirty hearts. Vacuum out the rage.  Scrub away the sensuality.  Sanitize out the resentment.  Wipe away the pride.  Our hearts were not created to store up a bunch of crud. They were designed to remain squeaky clean with love.  Our fallen nature makes this nearly impossible.  

Spring clean your heart!  If it's been a while, make a trip over to confession.  I promise that your heart will feel much better.  All of that sin really weighs it down over time.  Also, just spending some time in meditation and prayer helps, too.  Our hearts are meant to love!

-J.

Scattering the Proud

Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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Gospel of Luke 1:39-56

“He has shown the strength of his arm, and has scattered the proud in their conceit.He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and has lifted up the lowly…”  

Yesterday I went to confession.  It had been a few months.  I wanted to wipe the slate clean with The Lord before this beautiful feast day of Mary's Assumption.  After waiting in a long line, as usual, I finally made it inside the Reconciliation room.  As I poured out my sins to my confessor, I noticed a dead cockroach right beside where father sat. It laid there motionless with its feet up in the air.  I said to Father, "Did you notice the bug on the floor?"  He replied, "Yes, this place is full of dead things."  Hmmm... I got to thinking more about  that statement in light of confession.  When we walk into the tiny little room, sitting in front of the priest, we are filled with all kinds of filthy sin.  We may have behaved like a nasty insect biting other people, infecting them with welps, rashes or even diseases caused by our sinful nature. In confession we have a chance to kill that sin for good with a spiritual can of RAID!  The priest in Anima Christi fumigates our souls, eradicating sin and returning us to full grace with God.

We are at our lowest when we humbly confess our sins.  Our former pride and conceit is no longer powerful but scattered into tiny nanoparticles.  We are lifted up from our mighty thrones constructed of vanity and sensuality.  We have a chance to go back into the world as a new and better person.

What's so special about the Blessed Virgin Mary is that she was conceived without the stain of original sin.  When she died, she was immediately assumed into Heaven.  I imagine it happened with full fan fair as her Son and angels showered her with beautiful lilies as portrayed in today's meditation art.  Trumpets blasted and harps played beautiful music as the Queen of Heaven entered her new dwelling place.

It's comforting to know the Blessed Mother treats us all as her own children.  In times of struggle and burdens, she's there pouring out her love and care for us. She works on our behalf, counseling with her Son Jesus on matters of the heart.  We don't have to worry about being dead in this world.  We have life in heaven waiting for us.  We should use our limited time on earth in good and holy ways.  Respect and love one another.  Let go of anger and resentment.  Shed away envy and jealousy.  Scatter away the pride in our hearts and replace it with love for all.

As I finished up confession, I took a tissue out of the box and preceded to pick up the dead cockroach off the floor.  I could no longer stand the sight of it.  Father stopped me:  "No.  Let me take care of this! You go on now."  I left the confessional feeling relief.  I spent a few moments in front of the Blessed Sacrament thanking Jesus for his kindness, forgiveness, and mercy.

Let the spiritual RAID fumigation begin!

-J.