When Patience Wears Thin

Monday of the Fifth Week in Lent

Book of Numbers 21:4-9

Manna and quail from heaven

From Mount Hor the children of Israel set out on the Red Sea road, to bypass the land of Edom. But with their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses, “Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!”

Imagine for a few moments :  You're one of the Israelites accompanying Moses on the journey to the Promise Land.  Literally years have passed by. You're still wandering around the desert with manna and quail as your only sustenance.  You're tired of the monotony of sand, dryness, and heat.  You think to yourself:  "When on earth will we arrive at the land of milk and honey?  Will it be worth all of this discomfort?  I don't know if I can take much more of this!" Perhaps others around you mumble and grumble, cursing God and Moses for the wretched food, smelly camels, and endless dirt!  Maybe you know in your heart you should be grateful to The Lord for life and  progress towards freedom, however slow. Yet, the little complainer in you wishes you'd never left Egypt or attempted such a (seemingly) pointless journey!

Oh, the monotony of our lives.... We engage in the same routines over and over.  Maybe we're in a repetitious job.  We lack challenge or inspiration.  We create the same documents; we deal with the same annoying people; we constantly fight the same fires.  Nothing changes as our patience wears thin.  We begin to grumble to anyone who will listen:  These wretched people!  This wretched job! My wretched life!  We easily become whiners and complainers just like the Israelites. If God punished us with snake bites every time we complained about something, we'd be in and out of the emergency room!

I don't know about you, but when I get frustrated with life's stagnation I reflect on the accomplishments over my almost 41 years. I'm college educated, intelligent, employed, a home owner, and believe in God!  I'm blessed with an incredible family and network of friends.  My Catholic faith is a huge part of my existence.  If it wasn't for Jesus, I don't see myself as successful.  If it wasn't for God's blessings, intermixed with burdens and struggles, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.  

Life is so unfair!  Some people have it easy while others have it rough. Why does God allow  inequality?  Why does God give surplus to some and a deficit to others?  It's one of those questions that really God can only answer.  He calls the shots and dishes out the blessings.  He gives each one of us what we need to the extent of our abilities.  I can whine all day why God didn't make me an extrovert with tons of charisma and the ability to smooth talk anybody into promotions and prestige!  I can pout all day why the Holy Spirit doesn't lure a handsome man into my marital bedroom!  Geese, if God gave me everything I wanted I'd probably find an excuse to complain about something.  It's just the nature of us sinful human beings.  

I sometimes wonder if "complaining" should be listed among the 7 deadly sins. Hmmm....Complaining really get us nowhere, but keeps us in a state of negativity.  In negativity, we are more vulnerable to sin.  

We don't want to adhere ourselves to the Devil, but gravitate toward God!

When your patience begins to wear thin, pause for a moment and think:  "Is what I'm upset about really that important?  Is it something I should let go and leave it up to God to handle?"

Keep an attitude of gratitude and stay away from complaining.  It's a tough thing to do, especially when things circumstances are bad, but God is there to help!

-J.

God's Check List

Saturday of the Fourth Week in Lent

Gospel of John 7:40-53

Some in the crowd who heard these words of Jesus said, “This is truly the Prophet.”
Others said, “This is the Christ.” But others said, “The Christ will not come from Galilee, will he? Does not Scripture say that the Christ will be of David’s family and come from Bethlehem, the village where David lived?” So a division occurred in the crowd because of him. Some of them even wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him.

One thing I've noticed about the emergence of Spring is a sudden change of pace.  No longer do I have an excuse to be lazy.  The lawn is calling me to mow it, and the gnarly weeds are crying out, "Please don't kill me with Round Up!"  Everything is in bloom right now causing mega sneezing!  Honestly, with our freak snow/ice a couple of weeks ago I thought perhaps Spring would delay its magnificence until April!

Along with my lawn care duties, work keeps up a frantic pace.  This survey deadline is killing us as a team; so many gaps to close and so many questions unanswered.  On top of this, I'm preparing for my Certified Quality Engineer examination the first weekend of June.  Yikes!  I'm way behind in my studies.  I'm just NOW beginning to feel my normal self!  Every single year, like clockwork from late November through February, I slump into a light-deficiency induced depression.  It's absolutely miserable and leaves me in such despair.  I'm sad, negative, and feel like !@#$.   Maybe a few of my readers can relate? Yeah for Spring and a uplift of spirits!!

An important tool we use in Quality Control is the check sheet or check list, especially when manufacturing a product or tallying up defects.  After reading today's familiar gospel reading from the Book of John, I couldn't help but think of Pharisees keeping "track" of Jesus' on a checklist of papyrus or linen:

How many times did this Jesus of Nazareth perform a miracle?  

How many times did Jesus disobey the law of the Sabbath?

How many times did Jesus proclaim himself as the Son of Man?
Do we have enough "evidence" to end his life?

Of course, the results of the "quality" analysis will suggest Jesus is defective - a quack and a threat to the livelihood of the priestly class.  He's not the true Messiah as he claims, reaching his "expiration date" in the eyes of the Jews.  Time to dump him at the landfill of sculls - scrapped from existence, nailed to a huge wooden cross and allowed to undergo an agonizing death.

What about God's Check List?  What a contrast in comparison.  God checks off one by one the events of Christ's life as they occur.  Many preliminary steps (miracles, healing, controversy, disbelief, etc.) must take place just like on a manufacturing production line.  The "finished" product - that is death of Jesus for the sake of our own salvation - is not ready to take place.  The people are willing to believe in Christ's teachings.  Conversion is still taking place in  hearts, minds, and souls.  God wishes for Jesus to survive just a bit longer.  The final touches for the birth of Christianity need to be ironed out, just like quality checks and safety performance testing.  The"testing" will be complete with Christ's crucifixion.  Then the Catholic church will be born as we know today.

How is your Lenten resolution "check list" going?  Have you been able to maintain your fasting, prayer, and almsgiving?  Have you noticed changes in your life?  Are you still struggling with the same old sins?  Hopefully things are looking good in your penance routine.  Only two more weeks until Easter!  

Keep Calm, Keep Praying, and Carry On!

-J. 

Faces of God

Monday of the Fourth Week of Lent

Book of Isaiah 65:17-21

Thus says the LORD: Lo, I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; The things of the past shall not be remembered or come to mind. Instead, there shall always be rejoicing and happiness in what I create; For I create Jerusalem to be a joy and its people to be a delight; I will rejoice in Jerusalem and exult in my people.

I was thinking the other day about the last time I looked at someone straight in the eyes and noticed his/her face in detail: the color of the eyes, the straight or crooked smile, etc.  Sadly, I  find myself so deep in my own thoughts that I don't pay very close attention.  I'm afraid if police requested I provide a description for a composite sketch I couldn't  remember the details of the criminal.  Amazing how something as unique as a human face can go unnoticed, especially when we associate with the same people day in and day out.

The human face is a beautiful creation by God.  I find it interesting how facial features carry on from one generation to the next.  My one year old niece has my mom's nose, round face, and big eyes.  In fact, all of the women on my mother's side of the family look so much alike!  

I often wonder if Jesus' facial features looked similar to Mary's?  

Faces of God.  We all put on a "face" depending on our emotional state.  We smile when we are happy to see someone.  We scowl at the person who cuts us off in traffic.  Tears stream down our faces after we receive terrible news.  Our faces light up in laughter after hearing a funny joke.  Occasionally, the poker face shows up when we don't want to let on some insider knowledge.

I came across a couple of beautiful quotes relating to the faces of God.  They are quite profound and pertinent to our a Lenten observance:

The first quote is from Francois Fenelon from the book  "The Complete Fenelon" (Chapter 5 False and Real Humility).

You wait to be familiar till God shows a smiling face.  But I tell you that if you will open your heart thoroughly to him, you will cease to trouble yourself about the particular experience of his face.  Let him turn a severe and displeased countenance upon you as much as he will, he never loves you more than when he threatens.  For he threatens only to test, to humble, to detach souls from themselves.

The second quote is from Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI relating to Jesus' Passion, featured meditation for Sunday, March 15th in "Magnificat."

Let us pause...to contemplate his disfigured face:  it is the face of the Man of Sorrows, who took upon himself the burden of all our mortal anguish.  His face is reflected in that of every person who is humiliated and offended, sick and suffering, alone, abandoned, and despised.  Pouring out his blood, he has rescued us from the slavery of death, he has broken the solitude of our tears, he has entered into our every grief and our every anxiety.

The next time you talk with someone, admire  their face as a fellow child of God. Smile and look kindly on the person's uniqueness.  Moreover, the next time you pray, thank the Lord for his "smiling face" in in the gifts he grants us every day.  But also remember the "disfigured face" of Christ crucified who died for our salvation.

-J.

God Listens!

Driving one afternoon, I noticed the car in front of me with an interesting bumper sticker.  It said two simple words:  God Listens!  Living in the Bible Belt I'm used to reading religious jargon slapped on vehicles but these two words gave me the chills. I just happen to be driving home from Confession!!!  

God listens quietly and intimately.  He doesn't often make a showy display when his ear is nestled close to our lips.  He doesn't say a whole lot at first but ponders our prayer requests in his divine wholeness, planning a course of action.  He's an engineer, a healer, a lover, a supporter, and a defender.  He takes care of those who believe and trust in his mercy.

God listens!  It may not look like he hears any of our petitions because we are impatient creatures.  We demand an answer in an instant.  Society has taught us to be confident, demanding and insistent on fulfilling our own needs and desires.  God doesn't work that way.  God is timeless.  He's not on a twenty-four hour schedule with deadlines and priorities.  He provides us with what we need.  Sometimes we may not like what happens to us!  But, I know from personal experience what seems like a horrible answer to our prayers is actually a huge blessing.  If things turned out EXACTLY what we wished, and prayed for, it may have caused us tremendous pain and remorse.  

I came across a beautiful antiphon in Saturday's Divine Office Evening Prayer that induced one of my "Wow!" moments.  (I shared the quote with my confessor, and he even agreed it was spot on with my personal struggles.) I get excited when I discover a hidden phrase or quote that inspires deep thought.  The Holy Spirit touches me in subtle and clever ways.  It's always in the details since I'm a very detailed oriented person.

"No one takes my life away from me; I lay down freely and shall take it up again."

We can blame God for the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the foreclosure on a house, or a cancer diagnosis.  We can blame the government for our poverty.  We can blame corporate America for taking away our livelyhood.  However, the truth of the matter is we make our own decisions.  This beautiful gift of choice and free will comes from  God himself.  No more excuses and no more blame games!  No more pity-me parties and self-inflicting harm.  Sometimes the choices we make are not right for us, and then sometimes hard times fall upon us.  Anger and blame when things get difficult just lead  into an endless path of darkness.  We see the light only when we reverse the bad attitude and lift up our struggles to the Lord.  He will carry some of the weight as he pours forth grace.  

So the next time a situation at work tempts us to quit, or a disagreement with a spouse pushes us to head over to divorce court, stop and think of the words God Listens.  Ask the Lord for guidance and strength.  Pray for the courage necessary to remain calm in times of extreme emotion when we might make rash decisions.  

Always remember in times of need God is always ready to listen!

-J.

The Arrogant and The Merciful

Saturday of the Third Week in Lent

Gospel of Luke

Two people went up to the temple area to pray;

one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity —
greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed,
‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’

Wow, what a hectic week.  It feels great to be back on the blog! My job has been unbelievably busy...so busy, in fact, that I've had very little time to do anything else but work.  We are approaching a deadline for a project completion.  Every obstacle is being thrown in our path causing quite a bit of frustration. (I've let out quite a bit of curse words this week.  I need to wash out my mouth with Jesus soap!)  I'm confident things will turn out okay in the end if I can just get through the month of March. 

 I've always noticed a "feast or famine effect" when it comes to work load.  I'm either twiddling my thumbs throughout the day or I'm pulling my hair out with stress.  There appears very little moderation.  Even more trying than work itself  is dealing with personalities. When the going gets really tough, managers begin making ridiculous demands; suppliers clam up refusing to accept responsibility; and the truly ignorant employees suddenly go into their secret hideaways unwilling to lift up one finger in help or support. 

We all need to work together, folks!  Get off the stick and do the job.  This is a business and we need answers. We need documentation.  We need a resolution.  It's either ship or sink!

The clash of coworkers in the workplace reminds me of the contrast of characters in today's gospel reading.  We have the arrogant Pharisee and the merciful tax collector both praying in the temple.  The Pharisee prays the God self-righteously, glorifying himself because he fasts and pays his tithes.  He thinks of himself as "the best" and "the holiest" of worshipers. He toots his own horn while judging others as less worthy.  Contrast this with the poor tax collector who thinks of himself as a miserable wretch, beating at the breast.  He begs for God's mercy and forgiveness.  God looks more kindly on the tax collector who humbles himself versus the Pharisee who only talks about himself in an arrogant way. 

We are now half-way through Lent.  Do you see any positive progress in your spiritual journey?  Has your heart soften like the tax collector or remained hardened like the Pharisee?  Let go of the arrogance and replace it with a humble and contrite heart.  Seek out God's mercy!

-J.

Endless Winter..Where is Spring?

Thursday of the Second Week of Lent

Snow in my front yard (3/5/2015)

Cursed is the man who trusts in human hearts, who seeks his strength in flesh, who heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a barren bush in the desert that enjoys no change of season, but stands in

lava waste, a salt and empty earth. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is in the Lord.   

-Jeremiah 17:5-10

This morning I woke up at 1:30 am from another nocturnal nightmare.  This time I dreamed of both my current boss and an old boss.  The scene: a theatrical style trial made up of an audience of friends, family and even people I never met in my life.  We sat there waiting on the Human Resources and management "judges" to present their case against me.  They demanded my resignation.  A member of my "legal" team planned to attack the opposition by pulling up some sort of drunk driving incident committed years ago..... I woke up with a start, wishing for peaceful dreams!

I heard the wind howling so I peeked outside to find 3+ inches of snow covering the backyard.  Here it's the first week of March, only a few short days away from Daylight savings time, and our city is blanketed with snow!  Needless to say, we are again shut down at work and all schools closed.

I prayed for another snow day and here it is.  I need to make the best use of my time off.  

Stubborn Winter doesn't want to leave us.  The cold, the chill and the lack of sunlight makes us all feel blah.  When will we see Spring again?  When will the barren trees bloom and the grass grow?  I think about the Dallas Arboretum and all of the tulip blossoms still buried in the ground, waiting for the arrival of sunshine so they can show off their colorful brilliance.

Trusting in human hearts is a natural. We all desire acceptance, appreciation, and respect.  The thing is the human heart is flawed and fickle.  We give and expect something in return.  We complain and expect a fix.  We love and expect love in return.   Only the Sacred Heart of Jesus can truly give us the unconditional love we crave.  We will not be disappointed if we place all of our trust in a God's beating heart; however, we will find out sooner or later how a human's beating heart can stop at a moment's notice, no longer providing us with the emotional and physical support.

When we turn our hearts away from the Lord, we allow ourselves to survive in an endless winter with our souls buried in ice and snow, wind and chill.  We shovel, removing the layers of snow just to have it re-accumulate. The freezing cold keeps our bones brittle.....

When we open our hearts to Christ, Spring emerges from dormancy.  The trees bloom while the grass greens up and the birds sing.  Cloudy skies convert to sunny skies.  The air warms up to a pleasant temperature.  We feel alive and rejuvenated!  We feel like praising and thanking the Lord for all of his blessings.  He removed the dark of Winter and replaced it with the light of Spring!

Readers of my blog may notice I use a lot of imagery in my meditations.  I'm quite a visual person, totally entranced with nature, art, and diverse colors.  Such imagery allows me to better communicate spiritual thoughts.  Even when I'm going through trying times, I thank the Lord for blessing me with creativity and imagination.  It's such a wonderful way for me to form a closer bond with God and hopefully inspire others.

-J.

Spiritual Snippet - Let Go!

Archbishop Francois Fenelon

For my Lenten spiritual reading, I've selected the brilliant meditation guide called  Let Go (To Get Peace and Real Joy).  I happen to find this short little book on the bottom shelf at my local book store.  This is series of letters written in the seventeenth century by Archbishop Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon of Cambrai, France.  What a treasure trove of spiritual advice!!   It's exactly what I need to read.  It's almost as if Archbishop Fenelon sits in the same room with me, counseling me but through words written hundreds of years ago and originally in French!

I highly recommend buying a copy and keeping it near your prayer space.  Read a letter each day.  There are 40 letters in all, so perfect for 40 days of Lent.  The words are simple to understand; no heavy theology.  Through its simplicity is an amazing depth of wisdom.

Here are excerpts from Letter 16 titled "Those Who Injure Us Are to Be Loved and Welcomed as the Hand of God":

"I certainly sympathize with you in all of your troubles, but I can do nothing else for you except pray that God will comfort you.  Your have great need of the power of the Holy Spirit, both to sustain you in this time of trouble, and also to restrain you in your natural desire to find a way out......."

"Don't allow yourself to be upset by what people are saying about you. Let the world talk.  All you need to be concerned about is doing the will of God.  As for what people want, you can't please everybody, and it isn't worth the effort.  One quiet moment in the presence of God will more than repay you for every bit of slander that will ever be leveled against you."

"You must learn to love other people without expecting any friendship from them at all.  People tend to be quite fickle.  They love us and leave us, they go and come.  They shift from one position to another like a kite in the wind or like a feather in the breeze.  Let them do as they will.  Just be sure that you see only God in them. They could do nothing to you without His permission.  So, in the end, it is He that tests or blesses us, using them as we have need."

 Let Go, Let God!  What better way of handling our personal struggles in relationships and situations.  What if Fenelon lived in today's world?  Something to think about.....

Archbishop Fenelon, Pray for Us!!

-J.

Digging Trenches

Wednesday of the Second Week of Lent




Jeremiah 18:18-20

Heed me, O LORD, and listen to what my adversaries say.

Must good be repaid with evil

that they should dig a pit to take my life? Remember that I stood before you to speak in their behalf, to turn away your wrath from them.

Poor Jeremiah!  Here he's doing God's holy work.  (Remember he ate the angelic scroll!)  He encourages the people to repent and turn from their evil ways.  Yet, the people of Judah wish to destroy Jeremiah by monitoring his own spoken words. They hope he will say something to incriminate himself. Sounds like an example of a plan to throw Jeremiah under the bus.  Doesn't Jeremiah's situation sound similar to the Scribes and Pharisee plotting against Jesus during his public ministry?

All of us are monitored on a regular basis.  Not always through our words but through activity. Our credit cards and bank accounts are monitored for malicious activity.  Our places of employment are monitored for unauthorized activity and confidentiality.  Then our homes are monitored for burglars.  Even our cellular phones and internet activity are "monitored" for marketing purposes.  In our tech-savvy age, we can't get away from being watched by a person or a computer.  Unless we totally live off the grid, digging ourselves a trench in no-wheres-land, being "watched" is a fact of life. 

I feel like certain people are preparing a burial pit for me, just like Jeremiah, ready to whack me over the head with a big heavy shovel and toss me into a large hole in the ground.....

I'm experiencing a really horrible time at work.  Consistent mis-communication and downright lies are becoming an every day thing.  Today I found out:  No raise!  I was told I'd get one like all the other employees.  So, on top of job problems, I  continue to worry about increase cost of living.  The stress causes regular headaches, stomach pains, and an overall negative outlook on my circumstances.  Here it's Lent and I'm trying to get away from negativity but it's rearing it ugly head at me.  I have no gas mask to wear to prevent the poisonous vapors from depleting all of the oxygen!

I pray for a way out.  I pray for a change.  I'm tired of being stuck in a trench without an exit.  I feel like  a World War I soldier, fighting the enemy with bullets flying overhead!!

Let's just say a nice glass of wine will be poured this evening. After such a bad day, hopefully God won't be too disappointed with me.  I've tried to keep my chin up.  Let's just hope for more freezing rain and snow so I can stay home from work tomorrow....  

-J.

Just for Show and Tell

Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent

Gospel of Matthew 23:1-12

“The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen."

Remember "Show and Tell" days as a kid?  The one time in the week when we brought something really cool to show off to our teacher and other classmates.  Maybe the object included a favorite book, doll, or toy.  Perhaps we brought our pet hamster, dog, or even mommy or daddy, especially if he/she worked as a doctor or fireman!  As a young child, I never felt jealous of someone else's prized possessions or abilities.  I was happy and content with my own stuff.   Competition didn't exist in my mind, and I never thought of trying to "one up" someone.  Certainly I never knew what arrogance was all about.  

I miss the naivity, innocence, and natural good will I possessed as child.  What changed as I grew older?  Life happened with its endless challenges; ups and downs and inside outs.

I know of people who are naturally prayerful and loving of others.  They never think of themselves but lovingly serve others.  They don't show one bit of pride or vanity. It's as if that childhood innocence stayed with them through adulthood.  I wish I was one of these types of beautiful people!  I sometimes think God shuffled a deck of cards and I drew the Joker.  I have to work hard every single day to tame my tendency to dwell on me, myself and I.  I don't want to turn into a Scribe or Pharisee, tooting my own horn - hogging all of the attention and  casting judgment - when others need compassion, prayers, and support!   How can I stop it?  It will take change in the way I think.  It will involve kind thoughts about others.  It will take trust in God, through prayer and penance, to be more self-donating and less self-absorbed.

Show and tell godly things.  Don't just show and tell for personal rewards.

Keep praying!  Keep meditating!  Keep faith, hope and love alive!

-J.

Is It All An Illusion?

Second Sunday of Lent

(Click Here for Readings)


Mark 9:2-10

Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them.

The 40 Day Lenten Experiment now in progress....  I'm not sure where the Lord will lead me, but I know he's asked me to think and contemplate.  Examine myself more closely.  Try to fill in the gaps which lead along a path of sin and away from God.  Sometimes I think my heart, constructed of safety bricks, has blocked my one-on-one communications with others, allowing pain and anxiety to wither me away into nothingness.  Yes, I can type away on this blog, and release all of my feelings into the unknown cybersphere, but what about the known hemosphere? My stomach churns with guilt as my heart beats with fear.  Will the Lord remain kind and compassionate with me?  Will he lead me to holy conversion?  I feel my body is in such a weak and pitiful state, not knowing if the pains I feel are phantom or real.

I did the unthinkable yesterday; a grave sin in the eyes of the Church. (I will be visiting confession this week.)  I knew what I was doing when I signed up for a fifteen minute reading with a psychic.  But, my spiritual curiosity, and desire for novelty, drew me to act.  I've never been to a psychic in my entire life, and I've always been a little afraid.  Both my mom and sister have engaged in readings in the past.  I thought my experience would be a superficial chat about the future.  Instead it was much more unsettling.  I gleaned a message that I really didn't want to hear. I was shocked at how closely this psychic's "message from the Spirits" synced with my life.

** I am not at all promoting psychics, tarot cards or any of that kind new age/pagan stuff!!  It's very counter-intuitive to the purpose of Lent! **

The psychic said I 'm harboring bubbles of hurt inside my gut which need release.  I felt a few chills up and down my arms which are supposed to be a sign of a Spirit's presence.  Who's to say it was only air flow from the HVAC system?  Skepticism set in.  However, this psychic said something that caused me to pause:  "Your thoughts are an illusion."  What the....? I asked her what she meant and she answered:  "Your thoughts are your Truth and not necessarily the Truth of others."  I walked out of the session totally confused.  My shoulders tightened and my stomach turned.  Is this psychic referring to negative thinking?  Have I drawn wrong conclusions about people and situations?  Is everything in my head one big illusion comprised of false assumptions?

I know I cannot take a psychic's words as gospel truth.  I can only take the God's Holy Word as Divine Truth!  I can pray to my guardian angel for protection.  I can pray to God for an outpouring of mercy and grace.  However, I cannot possible let the words of a "spiritual healer" keep me bound in apprehension.  Yes,  I'm prone to misinterpretation.  Aren't we all?  Aren't we all sinful creatures who live behind masks day in an day out, an illusion to others?

What I find truly unsettling about the psychic's words are the words spoken by a priest only a few weeks ago. He said me: "Remember, 90% of what you think is only a figment of your imagination and not real!"  Yikes!  The parallel language is strikingly eerie.

I think the Holy Spirit is drawing me to let go of my sin; let go of my negativity and pessimism; let go of the fear and hurt.  Let go and let God heal!  I can do all of the breathing exercises in the world to move the "bubbles of the past" from my gut.  I can pray to "the spirits" for assistant, but what I need the most is faith and love in Jesus Christ.  Pray for his healing.

Jesus transfigured himself in front of Peter, James and John to give them insider knowledge into his holy mission and to encourage them to persevere in the faith!  Stay strong through temptations.  Don't allow weakness to destroy.  Keep mind and heart focused on God's holy mission throughout Lent.

-J.

P.S. These words from Letter 14 of Fenelon's Let Go is an inspiring addendum to today's meditation:

Faith seems to keep us constantly up in the air, never quite certain of what is going to happen in the future; never quite able to touch a foot to solid ground.  But faith is willing to let God act with the most perfect freedom, knowing that we belong to Him and are to be concerned only about being faithful in that which he has given us to do for the moment.