Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Wow, I was moved to tears when I heard a beautiful rendition of "Jesus Loves Me" during Holy Communion at Saturday evening Mass. I've never heard this song in a Catholic church before! I've never heard a jazzy, soulful, gospel version either! I frequent a sister parish on Saturday nights because the music is so wonderful. (I'm not impressed with the music at my regular parish. I opt to attend the early morning Sunday service with no music....) This month the cantor sang what I would call more protestant hymns. Growing up in the Baptist and Methodist churches, I always get excited when I recognize an old "protestant" hymn at Mass. The only thing I truly miss in the Protestant church is the music! The Catholic Church still lacks in excellent liturgical music. Some parishes are better than others. I stay away from liturgies with the folky guitar musical accompaniments. This is what I call non-spiritually lifting but more of a time warp back to the 1960s.....

When listening to "Jesue Loves Me," emotions of the past overwhelmed me. I remember singing this children's hymn when I attended Baptist daycare in 4-6th grades. We always sang it during Wednesday afternoon chapel. I absolutely hated day care! I loathed chapel the worst. The singing wasn't too bad, but when I had to listen to Brother Danny "preach" I wanted to hurl. We always had to memorize bible verses. I never understood the point of memorization if we weren't given an explanation as to the verse's meaning in our lives. I'd sit through the hour of chapel not at all feeling Jesus present. All the talk about "Are you saved?" made no sense! I just didn't get it. (Something was missing. It would take me many years later to figure out the Catholic Church filled in the missing pieces!) All of my early childhood experiences with bullying, hate, jealousy, hypocrisy, lack of self esteem, and feelings of worthlessness came about from this so called Baptist "Christian" day care center!!! I never felt beautiful! I was a non-athletic clutz that all the other kids proudly reminded me of. Those tears I shed during last night's Mass were not only tears of joy knowing Jesus truly loves me through his gift of the Eucharist, but they were tears of deep pain at the trauma I experienced in day care.

After over twenty years, I'm still shocked at the damage those years of the "Jesus Loves Me" Baptist Day Care did to me as a child. Unfortunately, I was exposed to ugly people at such an early age, Christian hypocrites who spoke of one thing but did the complete opposite. I know there are some wonderful,truly genuine Protestants out there who are faithful to Christ's true teachings. My family members are excellent examples of living like Christ. It's just a shame I wasn't exposed to the Catholic Church earlier in my life. I don't know if I'd be able to appreciate its authenticity as much if I was a cradle Catholic. So interesting how the Holy Spirit works in my life: Exposing me to the ugly, but then showering me with good. I try not to live in the past. I need to live in the present. Jesus loves me for the bible tells me so!

-J.