God-Shaped Hole in My Heart

Last Tuesday night, I attended a wonderful presentation on prayer and spirituality as part of the diocesan catechist certification program. We discussed the call to spirituality and the different methods of prayer. I was particularly intriqued by a quote from the 17th century Philosopher and Mathematician Blaise Pascal:  There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.

How many times in my life have I've used "objects" to make myself feel good: bought a new expensive dress with coordinating shoes and jewelry; engaged in sexual relations with a man out of wedlock; ate a whole package of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches in one sitting! Each of these things are misshaped pieces to the heart jig saw puzzle. They may be the right size or color but they just don't quite fit in the right spot. On the other hand, when I seek true fulfillment in Christ, his piece fits exactly into the heart-shaped puzzle! He provides all of the sustenance to make life worth living. He's loving and always there to listen to my troubles. Through prayer, I form a a greater, more intimate relationship with our Lord than any material object. Knowing his presence is always near is a mood enhancer, not a mood deflector!

May I learn to always turn to Christ in prayer and meditation whenever my God-shaped heart is not only broken and distressed, but also joyful and happy!

Teaching Our Little Ones

Since I graduated from the UD Biblical School, I've discerned what to do with my biblical knowledge. Should I go for my Masters in Theology? Should I continue with Adult Faith Formation studies for personal enrichment? Should I become a religious sister or join a Lay Order? Or, should I continue only participating in Sunday liturgical ministries?

After Mass one Sunday, our wonderful priest greeted me.  He asked me how I was doing.  I said all was well and then told him about graduating from the 4 year biblical school.  He smiled and said, "You would make a great catechist!  We are in need of good teachers here at the parish!"  I looked at him with a frown:  "Me, a catechist?  I don't even have children of my own.  I know nothing about kids!  I don't think it's my calling."  Our priest said otherwise, "Nah, Jennifer, you'd make an excellent teacher! You can do it!"  I walked out of the church that Sunday thinking it over:  "Hmmm.....You know, three people have come up to me now saying I'd be a great catechist for the children.  And now Father thinks so, too.  Wonderful! I think I will look into it!"

Over the next three Sundays, listed in the Bulletin, were openings for Faith Formation teachers. I saw nobody volunteering to teach the Wednesday Sacramental Preparation class 3rd/4th grade. Maybe our Lord was reserving that teaching spot for me?!  The following Monday I called the Faith Formation office.  The administrative assistant immediately put me on the teaching roster.  All I needed to do was update my Safe Environment Training online, get my picture taken for an ID badge, and attend two training sessions. 

I met a terrific Italian woman who volunteered to be an aide for the class.  (Yeah, I don't have to teach alone.  I will have somebody with a little experience there to help me out.)  This lady and I originally met earlier in the year at the Lenten Reconciliation Service even though I didn't remember her at all!  We were both in line for confession.  I was so terribly nervous confessing after being away from the Sacrament for 2 years! Interesting this woman and I met at a reconciliation service, and now we will be prepping 3rd and 4th graders for their 1st confession in the Fall Semester.  Amazing how God re-connects us with people and events to help spread the Church's teachings.

We have seen for ourselves, and can testify, that the Father has sent the Son as savior of the world. When anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him and he in God.  (1 John 4:14-15)

Take Courage...Do Not Be Afraid!

At once Jesus spoke to them, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."  Peter said to him in reply, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."  He said, "Come."  Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.  But when he saw how strong thewind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"  Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"  (Matthew 14:22-23)

This story from the Gospel of Matthew is one of my favorites in the bible.  Peter's fear of the strong winds sinks him into the ocean.  If only he trusted in Jesus 100% , he would be walking on the water effortlessly without trepidation.  So many times fear and cowardness paralyzes us.  This is where Jesus love and helping hand can eliminate those fears....

Last week I lost my job after over 11 years of steady employment.  Talk about a stab to my pride and ego; an embarassment; a gut-wrenching, anxiety-producing, terrifying event in my life. I sensed job loss was coming due to the economy, changes within the organization, and my overall unhappiness with the work situation.  In so many ways, losing my job has become a blessing in disguise.  Even though worried about my finances, I know my strong faith in God will get me through this difficult situation.   I couldn't believe the RELIEF I felt walking out of my company's doors.  Relief that the stresses of a "dead-end job" were over.  Now my chance to start over with a brand new company has arrived.  I can reflect back on all of my failures and achievements as I search for a new job. I've learned some hard lessons when it comes to the working world.  I pray my unemployment status is for only a short-period of time.

When I got the pink slip, I felt like Peter sinking in the ocean! I know Our Lord is there to pick me up and  help prepare me for a new, better job.  However, I cannot stay idle. I must work diligently!