Damaged Goods

Friday of the Eleventh a Week in Ordinary Time

2 Corinthians 11:18, 21-30

I passed a night and a day on the deep;
on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers,
dangers from robbers, dangers from my own race, dangers from Gentiles, dangers in the city,
dangers in the wilderness, dangers at sea,
dangers among false brothers;  toil and hardship, through many sleepless nights,
through hunger and thirst, through frequent fastings, through cold and exposure.
And apart from these things, there is the daily pressure upon me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak?
Who is led to sin, and I am not indignant?

I wish Saint Paul was in the room right now with me as I type this meditation.  He would give me useful advice, especially since he suffered so much.  Yet, he kept treking along from one community to the next surviving all sorts of dangers.  How did he do it?  Faith, hope, love and courage!

 Today was another one of those work days when I pleaded with God, "Wilł you please grant me a new job opportunity so I can get out of this place?" Daily I have to work with someone who can be passive-aggressive.  I never know what reaction I will get when I do or say anything.   I pray every day for the grace to stay strong and be as loving of a Christian as I can.  But, boy, does my stomach turn and my heart race with uneasiness.  It's a lot of stress I wish I didn't have to deal with.

I've discovered as I've aged that God places people in our lives for a reason.  Some people are wonderful and blend well with our personalities verses others who are difficult.  Sometimes we are meant to be a positive role model for someone we find a mess.  Other times, we are called to remain patient and calm, knowing very well that striking back will only get us in trouble.

We are all wounded and damaged in one way or another.  The term damaged goods comes to mind.  Even the wealthiest celebrities or the most devout religious in the world harbor some kind of interior "crude."  Of course, some people warehouse more damaged goods than others. Much of this has to do with how well we can adapt to bad circumstances.

I have been praying a 54-Day Novena to Our Blessed Mother.  I'm now about half way through.  My prayers are for two main petitions.  The first is for a healthy mental outlook, and the second for peace at work.  I hope a new job change will come my way, if God wills it.  I understand I cannot just pray for a miracle and expect it to happen immediately.  I need to be an active participant in my own change.  Many times as Christians we can fall into the habit of praying for a special need thinking if God hears us it will miraculously be fulfilled.  Yes, it can happen this way at times; however, for the most part God provides us with tools to help ourselves.  If we have mental health issues, perhaps a friend's recommends a terrific counselor.  If we suddenly lose our jobs, maybe we get to networking like we've never done before and land an even better job.

With Pope Francis coming to visit the United States, I recently received a mail out from a Catholic non-profit asking for donations on their behalf.  In the envelope contained two prayer cards:  One with a picture of Pope Francis and a second one with a picture of Mary Undoer of Knots.  I kept both cards as I tossed away the donation form.  (I normally do not respond to mailings.)  I just happen to receive these prayer cards during a time of a lot of work struggles, so I found them comforting.  Then, two weeks later I received another solicitation containing the exact same prayer cards!  I found this an interesting "God-instance."  I felt like our Blessed Mother was carefully watching over me, inviting me to pray for her intercession.  Soon after I got the idea for the 54-Day Novena.  I'm convinced once this is all completed I will see my life struggles in a different way.   

Hopefully I can return the damaged goods to the warehouse of burden and replace them with spiritual goods!

Now it's time to say my morning rosary and pray the Divine Office.  I pray for peace in my heart.

-J.