Nature Takes Its Toll

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer is something I keep in mind when life gets really rough.  I've experienced some of the most stressful and life growing challenges in the last  two years!   I don't know what is going to happen next.  Seems like nature is taking its toll on my life and life circumstances.  I don't feel what has happened to me is coincidental or bad luck.  I think Our Lord has brought about difficulties in order to allow me develop the maturity to deal with crisis.  It's still difficult for me to not become anxious and worried when life poop is thrown in my face.....

Ever since I moved into my home two years ago, I've had to replace my entire HVAC system, replace electrically burned light fixtures, replace broken garage door springs, and cut down a diseased tree!  This morning I woke up to discover a huge broken Bradford pear limb lying on my lawn.  The rainstorm from last night split a quarter of it.  The tree is old (18 yrs old) and is being treated for Fire Blight.  Now it looks like it may split again, tumbling onto the paved street and possibly causing damage to a car driving by.  Now I'm at a loss:  Do I cable and prune the tree or cut it down for safety purposes?  I was floored having to pay $350 for emergency tree service.  (Fortunately this fee was negotiated.)  I'm sad to think of cutting down this beautiful tree that supplies so much shade.  The kicker is cutting it down requires more money I don't have.  Credit card debt looms as I struggle to pay off the unexpected A/C work on  the Honda as well as cutting down the backyard tree.  I keep praying to God asking, "Dear Lord, can you please help me out here and allow me to pay off debt before anything else major goes out?  I can't stand it!  Why me?  Why all the stuff happening continuously? " 

The stress of home ownership is wearing me down.  I love my cute little home but maintaining it doesn't come cheap.  I sometimes think buying a home was the biggest mistake of my life.  Of course, a second income would help tremendously.  Not something to happen anytime soon. 

When life is challenging like this, it's difficult for me to turn to God in prayer.  I know my issues are hardly nothing compared to the circumstances of others.  So in a way I believe I'm  selfish.  I need to be content with where my life stands right now.  Try to manage my money as wisely as possibly.  I'm quite impatient and want things fixed right away.  

Even though I cannot change when something happens like a storm damaging a tree, I can change the way I react to the situation.  I admit I have the tendency to project my frustration on others, especially those who love me.  This is a terrible character flaw.  This is something I should be wise enough to recognize and change.  God gave me an intellect.  He gave me intelligence to realize that when nature takes its toll I can change the way I relate to the burdens even though I cannot change what happens unexpectantly.

-J.

False Bread of Life

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes me will never thirst." - John 6:35

As a Catholic Christian, I have the opportunity to take Holy Communion every day of the week.  Jesus gave us the spiritual food necessary to grow in holiness.  This "bread of life" is something many take for granted.  They begin to transfer the spiritual "bread of life" to the material. In the Sunday homily, our Bishop mentioned something that intriqued me.  It's the  idea of "false bread."  These are people, possessions, and pleasures that we believe are life-giving.  They are supposed to give us happiness, fulfillment, self-esteem, power, and wealth.  These "false" loaves of bread do not give us the spiritual nourishment we truly need.  Oftentimes, we pull us away from Christ.  We begin to starve ourselves, becoming anemic and crippled with sin.  At other times, we are given the false hope that the latest and greatest craze will make us younger, sexier, thinner, and richer.  In the long run, after the craze fades away, we see nothing has changed. 

When we fail to recognize Jesus Christ as the "bread of life" and truly believe in his presence, we lose the benefit of his unconditional love, grace, and mercy.  I feel a great deal of comfort knowing that when I receive communion Jesus becomes "one" with me!  He's fills up my heart with grace.  Then,  with his gentle hand I'm pushed forward to be Christ-like presence to others.  How can I be Christ-like if I'm already spiritually full from the "false" bread of life? 

My goal this week is to receive Holy Communion every day and reflect on how I can be strengthened by the Eucharist, the authentic "bread of life" given to us by Christ himself.

-J.